When you work in bullying prevention like I do, you are repeatedly asked if there is a bullying epidemic. Sometimes it's said as a statement of fact. An epidemic is a sudden, widespread occurrence of a particular undesirable phenomenon. Since conflict and abuse of power are inevitable between people and bullying is the abuse of power in a conflict, we have always had it. There is no epidemic. But the fact that bullying has existed forever doesn't make it right and it doesn't make it less painful when someone you love is experiencing it.
What we are experiencing is an epidemic of ineffective bullying prevention educational programs and public service announcements (PSA's).
We all need to agree on common sense criteria to differentiate messages that are laughable and easily dismissed, irresponsible or inaccurate, or realistic, relatable, and inspirational.
With the goal of starting the conversation, here's what I think.
1. Relies on gimmicks, like anti-bullying T-shirts, useless slogans like, "Bullying isn't cool. Don't do it," bracelets, pledges, and celebrity appearances as the principle educational strategy.
2. Depicts stereotyped situations.
3. Shows all white people at the center of the plot, or has token racial diversity. For example, the Queen Bee white girl with her backup Black and Asian friends.
4. Presents suicide as a natural consequence of being bullied and as a revenge fantasy against the bullies. Kids don't have to have suicide thrown in their face to take bullying seriously. Emphasizing suicide will make children think that any feelings less than that aren't worth reporting.
5. Portrays no realistic and comforting adult presence.
6. Provides no skills or strategies to stop bullying beyond, "Tell an adult" and doesn't acknowledge that telling an adult often doesn't help at all.
7. Assumes that bullying is always one-way.
8. Gives the primary motivations to not bully as that you will be punished or feel guilty.
9. Emphasizes blame.
10. Ignores the fact that most bullies think they're defending themselves or are at least justified; e.g. the victim deserves it. This is one of the primary reasons why a bully won't see themselves in these types of campaigns.
I am highlighting this PSA because Mr. Allan Van Fleet, the Chair of the Antitrust Law Section, defends their actions by saying that the video was "a rough cut that [sic we] never intended be released to the public" (Quoted from his comments on this Slate article). The ABA posted something online that they never intended other people to see? Somehow they don't realize the irony of this response given the subject matter. It's what teens say after they've posted something inappropriate online and can't believe it went public. More unbelievably, in researching for this article I found that Mr. Van Fleet, who as the chair, must have some supervision over this project, has no privacy settings on his Facebook page. That means I was able to see all of the personal information he posted online. From his personal postings, it is clear that Mr. Van Fleet is a decent person who means the best.
But good intentions are not enough; you actually have to know what you're doing. And what is the first thing you tell children when they begin to use social networking? Set your privacy settings so only people you know and trust can see your information.
The National Crime Prevention Council's cyberbullying PSAs were done in conjunction with the National Ad Council and US Department of Justice. Entitled, "In the Kitchen with Megan" and "Rant with McGruff," both use the classic outdated advice of, "Just delete the bad messages you get" and "If you wouldn't say it in person, don't send it online." If you work in schools you know there are plenty of kids who will say it and send it.
The NCPC's radio PSAs, click the titles to listen:
"Abuse of Technology" by Imbee. Imbee is a social networking 'mega-platform' for kids between the ages of 8-14. The video moves fast, is age appropriate for tweens, and doesn't preach while managing to get key messages across.
Lots of people have seen this one. Alye (the girl) and her parents have created a Facebook page where people can share their experiences and information:
For parents:
Good is good -- even when it's hard to admit. I usually disagree with Focus on the Family and have heatedly debated its representatives about including homophobia in bullying prevention curricula. (I am for; they are against). But they have some good parenting advice. Here's an example from their website.
Follow Rosalind Wiseman on Twitter: www.twitter.com/rosalindwiseman
Michael B. Keegan: On Anti-Bullying 'Day of Silence,' the Religious Right Cheers on the Bullies
"Awareness" of the problem isn't the issue. When I speak to students across the country, I ask them to raise their hands if they haven't heard or don't know that bullying is wrong. Not a single hand goes up. They all KNOW. However, the reason bullying continues in spite of the growing awareness of the problem is that we tend to "treat" the problem at it's symptom, and not it's underlying cause. In other words, by the time bullying occurs, the real source the problem has been in place for a long time.
PSAs, assemblies, "anti-bullying" policies and legislation will not have much of an effect on stemming the epidemic. We have to change the culture, and we have to do it at the source of the problem, which means focusing on pro-social skills, not "anti-bullying programs."
For more discussion on this, I invite you to visit: http://socialsmarts.wordpress.com/2011/02/02/to-end-bullying-requires-a-cultural-change/
- Corinne Gregory
www.corinnegregory.com
www.socialsmarts.com
My favorite was probably the AMHIR video, with the Alye video a close second. Cyber-bullying is particularly troubling, imo, because, as we all know, bullies are basically cowards, and the veil of anonymity technology provides makes the cowardly all that more brazen in their attempts to hurt others.
I don't have any answers for this epidemic of bullying, but I am certain that the "preachy" approach will never work. "Just Say No" didn't work with drugs, and it doesn't work with this either. I guess the biggest thing is to get kids to understand the importance of finding a trusted adult they can go to in times of crisis.
After verbal harassing her for several months, they decided to take it a few steps further by jumping her. Their excuse “she’s a Barbie”, however what they didn’t know was she’s only a few months shy of getting her black belt in karate, which she used as a defense with quick response punch’s . She whupped their a$$$.... Everything was caught on tape by the school security cameras and the 3 attackers got felony assault charges.
It’s so very sad kids are forced to defend themselves for whatever reason. Bullying is bullying.
And yes the attorney has all the posts.
I urge anyone--teen, parent, educator, and administrator--to read this book and find a way to work into the educational setting, either as required summer reading or as a library selection.
And for something completely different -- a book full of humor and poignant charm -- SPUD, by John Van de Ruit. -- what a hoot.