Last week I got to spend time at one of Los Angeles' busiest downtown hot spots: Los Angeles Superior Court's Stanley Mosk Courthouse. This is the court for anyone getting divorced within Los Angeles County. Los Angeles County divorce court is such a long name, let's just call it HELL for short.
Yep, as you can imagine, it is one busy, busy place. I learned many things during last week's journey to Divorce Court in downtown LA. Some good. Some not so much. But life lessons and insights all the same that I will pass along to you.
1. Park at the Disney Music Hall and walk across the street. You get to at least walk through a beautiful building before you head in to court to find out your fate.
2. DO NOT go into the main front entrance. The line wraps around the building. Use the side entrance and save yourself some time and frustration. (Not to worry. There will still be plenty of unhappiness waiting for you inside.)
3. Bring Kleenex. Enough for you and the woman sitting in front of you who didn't bring any and is wiping her nose on her pretty scarf.
4. You can tell who the attorneys are. They wear suits. Everyone else wears a dazed expression.
5. The decor is very dark wood and intimidation meets 1970's K-Mart. Everything squeaks. Chairs. Doors. Maybe if I go back I'll bring along some WD40 and do some oilin'.
6. They have a cafe on the rooftop of the courthouse building. You can actually sit outside on a rooftop patio and enjoy the skyline. (I think that they should put high fences around the edge so people won't jump off just to end their divorce court experience sooner.)
7. There will not be any flash mobs breaking out into Broadway style dances to Pharrel Williams' "Happy". Nor will anyone start a group sing along to that stupid Lego movie song, "Everything is Awesome". There is no singing or dancing here. Or smiling.
8. Now that gay marriage is legal in CA., you see same sex couples lined up in the corridors too. Yippee!! Now everyone gets to enjoy the pain of divorce. Welcome to the party everyone.
9. There are big wooden benches spanning the hallways where attorneys and clients cluster to confer. These benches are also where people sit and weep, or stare blankly forward. It reminds me of a hospital waiting room without the magazines.
10. Sit in the back and listen to the cases on docket before you. There are people whose lives are so much more f'd up than yours. It will make you feel sad for humanity but also happy that at least their story is way worse than yours.
11. Come up with a game. After sitting in the hallways for over 6 hours alternating between negotiating and crying. I started looking at women's shoes. Flats, heels, summery platforms. One courtroom staffer was wearing the cutest Aldo t-straps! It made me feel better to know that cute shoes can happen anywhere. Even in courtrooms full of pissed off divorced people in downtown Los Angeles.
Maybe cute shoes are a sign from God. If cute strappy shoes can exist in a miserable place like that. Maybe joy and happiness are possible in other unlikely places too. Somehow that gives me hope.
What did you learn going to divorce court in Los Angeles or another city?
How did you make it through your day in court?