Owen Wilson's Pain Mirrors His Young Fans

As a longtime Owen Wilson fan, I was saddened at the news of his recent suicide attempt. Some reports have cited substance abuse, while others reference an ongoing battle with depression. Regardless of what led him there, one thing that has hit me is how this particular situation seems to have inspired so much genuine concern. News about yet another celebrity-in-jeopardy is almost a daily event, to the point where we have become desensitized to it. The media throws them to the wolves, the talk shows rush out the jokes, and if the rest of us have any reaction at all, it's often one of contempt rather than concern. What is it about Owen Wilson that has struck a different chord?

Perhaps it's the fact that something like suicide doesn't seem to fit with his outward image -- the funny, popular young comedy star with the wry smile and laid-back Texas drawl. Combined with his streak of hilarious box-office smashes just doesn't spell "depressed" or "troubled" in our minds. It's always tragic when someone turns to suicide, but when that someone is best known for making us laugh, the news is particularly jarring. I can't help but wonder what the impact of this will be on Wilson's fans, many of them teens and college students. The fact is depression, addiction and other serious mental health issues are much more common among this age group than many people realize, so it's possible Wilson's troubles may make him more relatable to them.

Today, young people are faced with stress that can be brought on by academic pressures, the death of a loved one, divorcing parents, toxic relationships -- even a severe lack of sleep can wreak havoc on their mental state. But when you team that with other serious issues like depression, anxiety, eating disorders, bipolar disorder -- we're entering dangerous territory, especially without treatment. Unfortunately, society encourages us to walk it off, put a smile on our face and "deal," rather than be honest about our emotions. This idea that it's better to act like you're ok than risk being judged as "weak" or "crazy" just because you sought help for a mental health problem, leads many young people to develop unhealthy "external lives" that follow them into adulthood.

For those in the public eye, this "external life" is often taken to the extreme. Many celebs have to hit rock bottom before they will admit they have a problem, and when they finally do get help, it's usually court ordered. To make matters worse, men tend to have even more trouble admitting emotional struggles than women do, so this could also have played a role in Wilson's situation. It's imperative that we stop this stigma and start taking charge of our mental health just as we would our physical health, BEFORE it's too late. We especially need to encourage young people to talk about these issues and deal with them in a productive manner, instead of denying them or feeling ashamed. Shame leads to isolation, which can lead to substance abuse, violence, self-abuse or even suicide. Whenever I speak in front of a group of students, one thing I always impress upon them is that if your EXTERNAL life and your INTERNAL life don't match up, you're going to be facing severe inner conflict -- which is bound to reveal itself in destructive ways. The self-medication with drugs that has been referenced so highly in Wilson's story is exactly the type of behavior that can come out of this conflict.

Suicide is the second leading cause of death on college campuses, and the third leading cause of death among high school students. Anti-depressants are the most common prescription on college campuses, and nationwide. While many may subscribe to the misinformed opinion that suicide is one of "the most selfish things a person can do," it usually doesn't feel that way for those who attempt it. Most who attempt suicide don't actually want to die -- they just have serious emotional problems, and feel they can't handle living the way they're living anymore. Many see suicide as the only way to put a stop to the constant thoughts of death and pain that often accompanies depression. In fact, many may even feel they are a burden to everyone close to them, and suicide will relieve that burden.

It's hard to know what was going through Wilson's mind a week ago Sunday, but there's no question that he's in emotional pain. Thankfully for Wilson and so many of his young fans, there are many resources and treatments available that can help us to successfully manage our mental health. But the earlier we can identify our problems, the better off we will be -- and the key to that is being honest about what we're feeling, and taking action if we're suffering. If we can stop the negative stigma, more people will begin to seek help. Assuming Wilson comes through this a stronger person, he will be an inspiration for so many of his fans. And Lord knows young people today could use a positive celebrity role model.

Facing up to mental health issues should be viewed as a sign of strength, not weakness. I'm so grateful that Wilson didn't end up like so many other funnymen who were taken from us too young -- after years of laughing on the outside, and suffering on the inside. I wish him the best as he begins his journey of recovery. A friend of his recently said that when Wilson is ready, he will be able to speak for himself much better than any of the rest of us could. Owen, your fans will be listening, and what you have to say could stand to help more people than you could possibly imagine.

Comments

[JamieFrevele]

Excellent article, and finally a reasonable, noninvasive look at the situation. There is such a stigma with depression, which should be looked at the same way addiction is - as a chronic disease that can be treated. It seems as if Owen Wilson has a very strong foundation of supportive family and friends, and if this is the awakening he needed, he will be able to recover. I just hope he doesn't try it again. Those thoughts don't just disappear - all you can do is fight them. Not to mention ignore the tabloids once they start watching his every move. He won't be able to have a single beer without paparazzi catching him "drinking himself to death."

[Meah]

Thoughtful post, and one that will be helpful to young people. Owen Wilson is a lovely soul, and I wish him the best.

[rossszabo]

Thanks for the comments everyone! I also want to thank BSimmons for pointing the person who wanted the stats to all of the places they are available.

[InofTouch]

It is hard to change the stigma even if it was revolutionize by Wilson because we still seem to label as our first sign of investigating then ask question as if the person was just a person.

We seem to have conflicting issue about what make us the same versus what make us different with subject like mental illness

[BSimmons]

So true. Life is hard for all of us...young, old, rich, poor, famous, anonymous. We ALL go through emotional troubles, and for some, it gets to be too much, and we can lose control if we don't get in front of it, seek help, or have someone intervening to help us. Thankfully in Owen's case a relative was there to make that emergency call. If anything, I also hope that this situation will serve as a wake-up call that emotional problems or "mental illness" or whatever you call it, affect all of us on some level. Assigning shame to something we ALL experience is just adding unnecessary insult to injury. I just read your bio - for someone still so young, it sounds like you've been through a lot and have much to offer in terms of helping young people in trouble. Congrats on your book, BTW. I may have to p/u one @ Amazon. It's funny because I JUST happened to see you on the Today Show or somewhere, which is why I recognized your name at HuffPo! I'm glad I discovered you as I have a couple of highschool students in my own life who could really be helped by what you have to say, as they are struggling with some tough stuff themselves - and I remember just how easy it is to feel overwhelmed at that age.

I commend you for the work you do and all the encouragement you put out there to help stop stigma -- especially among the younger gen, as these attitudes can stay with us our whole lives. You're making a difference, and Owen can, too. We're all praying for you, Owen!! NO shame...we just want you to feel better again soon.

BTW, for the commenter who asked about your stats ,I would encourage them to look it up. ANYWHERE. CDC, AMA, you name it...there are dozens of orgs and surveys to this effect. THE JED FOUNDATION is also a good resource in terms of stats:

http://www.jedfoundation.org/libraryNews_facts.php

[ldelp84227]

I hope Owen will be okay, he seems like one of the good ones. Losing a loved one this way is very hard on the people left behind. So many questions. Linda

[kellygrrrl]

my feeling is this generation suffers from such deep depression DUE to the constant deliberate and forced desensitizing to everything. They have been MEDICATED their whole lives for everything from a booger to a quirky personality. They have been exposed to sex and violence through video games, television and in many cases even through their own family members.
They are being forced into NUMBNESS, and it's depressing!

[castlerider]

Stevie Ray Vaughan has a great song he wrote called "Life without you."
I have found it to be very -almost medicinal, in helping to heal wounds of missing dear friends I've lost. It's helped me to feel stronger and want to put on a rockin' song after, too, and get on with life.
Music is such a great gift from the Lord above.. Anyone can take their time, and find the sounds that touches their hearts the best. It helps the new, clear day come easier.
We all know Owen's got a lot to live for...Seems like a cool dude.
Hope he never has to go back down the dark road that almost took him.

[bethinCary]

I think it must be very confusing for those, especially in thier 20s in Hollywood, who grew up from being child stars or singers. I wonder if there my be a key psychological component there to ground-that is missing from this lifestyle. After all, if they never grew up in normal families-or where constantly on a set "acting", I wonder how truly connected they are to thier own feelings after being treated much as a pet who does tricks for his treat. After seeing all of the 20-somethings in Hollywood and all of thier scandals-I am convinced that something of this lifestyle has stunted thier emotional/psychological EQ.
While a course in interpersonal communication set me on my way to healing my own life. I learned to speak up for myself, learned to push others' opinions away-learned to have faith in my own ideas..learned how to get in touch with my own feelings, observations,likes, dislikes about the world,people and myself. I learned how to speak from what my inner voice was telling me.
It's a course I'd recommend to anyone at any age.

[seawolf77]

Fame does not fill the hole. Neither do drugs or sex or money or love or therapy or religion. I read that poem in high school, but it has taken me years to understand. Nothing fills the hole. The only thing you can do is walk away, and leave the hole behind. It seems terrible, to leave your freinds and family behind, but when you put the blindfold on, and objectively raise the scales and weigh, truly weigh the ins and outs, you will toss the scales down in terrible anger that you did not do this sooner.

[GoingLikeSixty.com]

What is your source for leading cause of deaths among college students and high school students?

[OtayPanky]

Ross asks: What is it about Owen Wilson that has struck a different chord?

=======================

It's a Richard Cory story.

===

Richard Cory
by Edwin Arlington Robinson

Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored and imperially slim.

And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked,
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
"Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich--yes, richer than a king--
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.

[marcain]

I memorized Richard Cory in 8th grade and recited it in front of class. There it sits forever in my synapses. It still has a powerful effect and makes a timeless point with simple words.