BP's New Cleanup Plan: Divert Oil Spill to Bermuda Triangle

They've tried almost everything: containment domes, golf balls, human hair, lulling the oil spill to sleep with Barry Manilow music.

Nothing has worked. As of this morning, the Gulf oil spill had spread to Florida and Texas -- and was trying to join Facebook.

Now, British Petroleum has devised a new plan: divert the big slick into the Bermuda Triangle.

"The Devil's Triangle has an excellent track record of making things disappear," said BP boss Tony Wayward. "Airplanes, ships, the continent of Atlantis. I don't know why we didn't think of this sooner."

This story originally appeared at NotTheLATimes.com. Copyright 2010 by Roy Rivenburg.

 

Comments

[DevonTexas]

03:21 PM on 05/25/2010

"Now, British Petroleum has devised a new plan: divert the big slick into the Bermuda Triangle."
Makes as much sense as all the other ideas so far!

[etchiginza]

09:45 AM on 05/22/2010

If there are any USO's about, why aren't they down there fixing the problem ? They can't want their ocean polluted, so surely they can bring their technology to bear quicker than BP ?

[rougebaisers]

06:40 AM on 05/22/2010

They DO NOT want to upset the USO's in our oceans, believe me.

[FBuchan]

10:52 PM on 05/21/2010

While I realize this is a joke, please don't give BP ideas like this -- they have a track record of being dumb enough to buy-in to long shots, and they may not be able to grasp the humorous angle. The last thing we want them to do is think it's a serious option and pollute the Devil's Triangle, ticking off the aliens.