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Rt. Rev. Mary Douglas Glasspool

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Marriage Equality Through A Sacramental Lens

Posted: 06/22/2012 2:27 am

One of the things I love about the Episcopal Church, in which I am privileged to serve, is the Church's use of sacraments in its rich, liturgical life. As a child growing up in the Episcopal Church, I had to memorize the definition of a sacrament: A sacrament is an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace, given by Christ as a sure and certain means by which we receive that grace. So in the sacrament of Baptism, the outward and visible sign was water, and the inward and spiritual grace was the baptized being grafted and incorporated into Christ's Body, the Church. In the sacrament of Holy Communion or the Eucharist, the outward and visible signs were the bread and wine and water, the inward and spiritual grace was being spiritually fed and nurtured by Christ's sacrificial giving.

This is Christian language, perhaps difficult to make much sense out of unless it's your own language. But the thing about the sacraments that made sense to me, even as a child, is that the sacraments took the great mysteries of our faith (How does one explain the grace of God given to people?) and made them concrete, so to speak. We can't see what happens to an infant, spiritually, when the infant is baptized. But we can hear the water flowing into the baptismal font, and the person being baptized can certainly feel the wetness of the water. Likewise in the Holy Eucharist, we understand that we are being nourished by Christ's self-giving and presence, but we can only taste and see that the Lord is good (as the popular hymn goes).

The thing that I would ask people to consider is that the sacraments are not things that we bestow upon people. They are not means by which we human beings proffer grace. It is God who gives grace to God's people. God is the author of all blessing. So what is it that we are doing when we celebrate a sacrament or offer a religious blessing? We are recognizing God's gift of grace in others. And, most usually, we are recognizing God's gift of grace in the context of a community, which not only recognizes God's grace, but pledges to support the people receiving it.

So, an infant is not a child of God by virtue of its baptism. An infant is a child of God by virtue of its birth. What happens in baptism is that the Community of Faith recognizes God's gift of grace in the life of that infant, and the community pledges to support and uphold that person as he or she grows in the life of faith. In other words, the Church, through its sacraments, recognizes realities that already exist (i.e. the fact that God has given God's grace into the life or lives of people); celebrates that fact, and pledges its support to the ongoing life.

In the Episcopal Church, marriage has traditionally been treated as a sacrament. The outward and visible signs of the sacrament are the rings and vows that two people make to each other. The inward and spiritual grace is the reality of the relationship the two people already have given by God. The Church doesn't make marriages or give God's grace to the marriage. God's grace is God's to give! What the Church does is recognize the love and relationship two people already have and desire to grow in, and pledge the community's support to the couple, helping to uphold their vows of to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death.

Now for the big question. Are there lesbian and gay couples who love and cherish each other, and stick together through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, who appear to manifest the grace of God, already given in their lives together? Do we have currently existing in our communities gifts from God that have not yet been recognized by the community as a whole? What would be the benefits (if any) of recognizing, blessing, or solemnizing those relationships?

I believe we do have both hidden and more readily apparent gifts from God in our religious communities. Gay and lesbian couples of all ages and races and ethnicities have managed to receive God's grace even as the Church has declined to recognize it in them. For many gay and lesbian people this has been more than sufficient reason to leave or forget the Church, and simply live out their lives together in as wholesome and healthy ways as is possible. My own sadness about this is that it is the Church that misses out! The life of the very Church that I love will be so enriched once it finds a way to publically, respectfully, and intentionally recognize God's grace poured into the lives of gay and lesbian couples who have committed themselves to one another and are already living lives of great integrity.

 
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One of the things I love about the Episcopal Church, in which I am privileged to serve, is the Church's use of sacraments in its rich, liturgical life. As a child growing up in the Episcopal Church, I...
One of the things I love about the Episcopal Church, in which I am privileged to serve, is the Church's use of sacraments in its rich, liturgical life. As a child growing up in the Episcopal Church, I...
 
 
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12:08 PM on 06/25/2012
Good article on the meaning of the sacraments. Further, you are correct in your assessment: "The Church doesn't make marriages or give God's grace to the marriage. God's grace is God's to give!" Therefore, to follow consistently your line of thought, the marriage covenant is God's to give and God has defined marriage as the covenant between God, a man and a woman. God's order is God's to give, not for the Church to redefine for the purpose of making the Gospel palatable to those who seek to defy God's authority over God's creation. The Church certainly has an obligation--in fact, a commission--to love people through their struggle with sin as God's grace leads them to repentance. This is called 'discipling.' When the Church takes it upon itself to redefine God's definition of sin, we become a stumbling block to God's grace and mock the Gospel.
01:23 AM on 06/25/2012
Sin in the name of Love will never justify a Homosexual union. Check it in the bible, it is there.
01:50 PM on 06/25/2012
Zilly200, if you read your scriptures carefully, you will find out that love is never sin. Sin, in biblical terms, is separation from G-d -- which, incidentally, happens when we try to judge in G-d's place (that's what Jesus says in the Gospels, at any rate). With ALL due respect for your love of G-d, I'd suggest that you might want to tread cautiously, and avoid bacon.
12:18 AM on 06/26/2012
If you read the bible in truth, u will not be bound
02:08 AM on 06/26/2012
We are not worth loving, but God loves us all. The important thing is that He tells believers to take the gospel to the world. That is the way that you and I can show our concern and love. We are to take the gospel to the lost because God loves them, and then if we take it to them, a love will be begotten in our hearts for those who are actually our enemies. The important thing to see is that God is love — it is His attribute — and His love has provided a Savior
01:16 AM on 06/25/2012
Grace will never give you an excuse to sin freely. God has a foolproof on all of his rewards for eternal life. It is no way to skim your way around it. God is awesome aint he.
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Morcat
10:01 PM on 06/24/2012
Thank you Bishop. My personal feeling is that so many of my friends who are in committed, long term,same-sex relationships have suffered so much just to stay together, that ultimately, they will teach us a lot about what marriage can be. Their relationships have required a lot of inward grace to maintain the outward signs -- something that seems to be lost in many opposite sex unions. So far as I'm concerned, they are living the sacrament.
01:20 AM on 06/25/2012
They have lost their way. So sad, may God have mercy in his way. May they repent and find the sign back on the road of salvation.
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Sjoerd W
Always look for common ground.
03:51 PM on 06/24/2012
A lot of clergy responding to this article (I can tell from your collars, guys!) and it give me hope that the wheels are still turning in parts of organised religion and that a lot of people are still moving forward! It's appreciated (not gay myself, but I care).
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KristineE
Out and Proud Of It
10:35 PM on 06/23/2012
Being an LGBT activist, I often find myself face to face with some of the most hateful people that call themselves Christians. Within the last several months, I have had to change my view because of you and people like yourself. There is apparently much good within the church also. Thank you for a beautiful article.
12:41 AM on 06/23/2012
Beautifully said and a wonderful articulation of the sacramental theology which informs anglican theology. I was so grateful for for your ministry of leadership and oversight in the Episcopal church in Maryland and all the more glad that the church has now elevated to the ministry for which you are so gifted.
11:18 PM on 06/22/2012
Yes, so well said. LGBT Christians are being called to integrity: to be who who we really are. (And yes, Integrity is focus group of lgbt Episcopalians and our supporters.) And just as truly the Church is called to integrity: to be what it truly is, truly sharing God's incredible love for absolutely everyone.

What was left out though here is the truth that transgender persons and relationships also are worthy conduits of God's grace. (I believe Bishop Mary would agree.) I'm not willing to leave behind my transgender sisters and brothers.
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Sjoerd W
Always look for common ground.
03:50 PM on 06/24/2012
Well said. There are still so many inequalities in the world. And it would be ridiculous if after reaching complete equal rights for the L's, the B's and the G's, we'd have to scale the same walls of indifference and hate again because we left the T's behind.
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Bishop Pierre Whalon
04:09 PM on 06/22/2012
Good article, Bishop Mary!

One question I have is the idea of blessing presented here. Seems to me that when you bless someone or something, you are asking God to do something, not just recognizing what is already happening. In other words, sacraments effect what they signify. And when we bless, God is doing something that would have or have not happened had we not blessed that couple, person, or thing.

What do you think?

Pierre
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Sjoerd W
Always look for common ground.
03:46 PM on 06/24/2012
I am not Mary (obviously) but may I pose a question to you, Pierre?

How do you know a god also did something when you have asked for it through sacrament? If he does it by default, this means we have control over his actions through sacrament. If he discerns, how would we tell if he dis something or not, and why would he discern?

I say we, but as an atheist I mean you. But still, I wonder how this is looked upon in (your) church.
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Bishop Pierre Whalon
01:40 PM on 06/27/2012
What we trust is that what God has promised to do, God does. However, from the human side we have to accept it and live into it. So the sacraments do not control God — it's not magic. Nor does God control us. But we trust that the action of God is evident in the way we live, when we decide to accept the gift.

Does this help?
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revsusanrussell
Episcopal priest and LGBT activist
01:40 PM on 06/22/2012
Thank you, Bishop Mary, for calling our church to be a headlight instead of a taillight on marriage equality. From your mouth to General Convention's ears!
11:35 AM on 06/22/2012
I believe that this is the true heart of the matter. Two people who desire to have their love and commitment to each other recognized by their church, their faith community. God has already blessed them with the presence of each other in their lives. I truly hope the Episcopal Church is about to say a great Amen!
11:24 AM on 06/22/2012
Here, here.