We've all heard of Murphy's Law, the saying that "anything that can go wrong will go wrong." I'm a big fan of these adages, whether they are proven by scientific observation, like Moore's Law (computer processors get twice as powerful every eighteen months) or just represent social mores, like Godwin's Law (first debater to make a Nazi comparison loses all credibility).
Comic observations are also favorites, from Groucho's Club Complaint ("I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member") to Carlin's Anti-Abortion Observation ("Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place, man?").
As I've reached middle age I have collected some laws of my own, or rules, as I prefer, since mine are based on selfish prejudices. None of the following may work for you -- that's why they're "Radical" Russ's Rules. But if my experience can save you the ten bucks you'd blow on a movie ticket or the $400 you'd drop on some software, all the better.
Every Other Star Trek Movie and Microsoft Windows O/S Sucks.
It seems like they get everyone excited for the brand new product and when it's released, there is a collective sign of disappointment from devotees and new customers alike. Then they go back to the drawing board, figure out why people liked the product in the first place, and come back with a triumphant success. On the heels of that, they get over-indulgent and over-reach. Then they try a whole new redesign and win back fans. Then there's some internal management issue that dooms the next project. Next they've come back with the product they should have waited on instead of launching the last one haphazardly.
Then the whole thing is revamped completely with new infrastructure and features and isn't so terrible, but kinda turns off the folks who were used to the last six. The next offering delivers on the hasty promises made by the revamped one, but by now the whole thing has gotten so out of control that the next two turn out to be duds and it takes a complete reboot to save the eleventh offering.
That description explains every Star Trek movie and every Microsoft Windows Operating System. Is this just a phenomenon among projects managed by geeks? I don't know, but here is my evidence:
True sci-fi and PC geeks, feel free to savage me in the comments.
Follow Russ Belville on Twitter: www.twitter.com/RadicalRuss
Star Trek 1 was bad
2, 3, and 4 awesome
5 bad
6 and 7 awesome
8, 9, 10 bad
11 awesome
Also Godwin's Law is the longer a conversation goes on the chances of Nazi or Hitler being mentioned increases to 1. Not whoever invokes them loses credibility.
As for Star Trek? 3 was good in the sense it was the best of the odd numbered TOS movies. No way 3 is better than 2, 4, or 6. 5 was by far the worst.
On the TNG movies I lost interest. Wasn't 7 the one where they shoe-horned Kirk into the story only to have him killed in a fall off of collapsing stairs? Really, a guy who fights Gorn barehanded and escaped the Gamesters of Triskelion dies in a fall? Bad. 8 was good because they got back to the fun of Star Trek and did another time-travel-to-Earth run. 9
2, 3, and 4 were part of a trilogy. 2 was my all time favorite. You can argue that 3 was not as good as some of the others but that is relative it was still good.
5 was an episode. If it had been an TOS episode it would have been okay, but my standards for a movie is higher.
6 was awesome and it helped bridge the two series (TOS and TNG)
7 was awesome it carried a lot of the success of the TNG series to the big screen. You argument about Kirk's does not hold. Kirk is human you can't argue 'if he can be beat X, Y cannot kill him. Kirk could be killed if I shot him in the back of the head. He died saving millions of people.
8 began the ruining of the Borg. Nor forgivable and it was bad movie.
9 same as 5. It would have been a good episode for TNG not a movie.
10. Alright movie but it ignored ST history and alienated its core audience after the previous two movies had already alienated the extended audience.
11 was a restoration of greatness.