"Unsexiest" Woman Holds Mirror Up To Judges

"Am I really the unsexiest woman in the world?"

That's the rhetorical question actress Sarah Jessica Parker posed to Grazia (which actually bills itself as Britain's "first glossy magazine"). She was responding to the title of "Unsexiest Woman Alive" bestowed upon her by a poll of the readers of another magazine, Maxim.

In questioning their choice, Ms. Parker fails to notice that she's acquiescing to the notion that there really is an unsexiest woman in the world. But she deserves credit for bravely admitting that it caused her significant pain, enhanced, in turn, by her husband's anger.

"Do I fit some ideals and standards of some men writing in a men's magazine?" she asked. "Maybe not." (Plaudits also for taking the trouble to Q & A herself, thus lightening the interviewer's work load.)

Again, Ms. Parker is on the right track, but only halfway there. She herself illustrated the point in the 1991 film LA Story. Playing SanDeE*, a dizzy, flirtatious young woman, she beguiles the middle-aged Steve Martin. (And, in the process, makes it impossible for girls to ever unselfconsciously twirl again.)

By parodying it in its most juvenile and blatant form to a T, Ms. Parker draped herself with the mantle of sexiness and the rest was history. It's indicative of her intelligence that her career was built on irony.

Maxim's readers likely weren't singling her out for a lack of sexiness, which no red-blooded man can dispute at this point. Arguably, it's her long face to which they object.

In fact, Ms. Parker is the latest in a long line of formidable women stretching from Cleopatra to Bette Davis to Madonna. Though lacking the symmetry of a classic beauty, they bent men -- and the world -- to their whims, whether by disposition, determination, or talent.

The case can be made that Maxim's readers object to having a sex symbol chosen for them on the basis of her success in a "women's" TV series. Also, there's no disputing that La Parker is ubiquitous -- besides TV, from billboards to magazine ads to commercials -- not to mention, much the richer for it.

But, as is too often the case with a poll, it reveals more about the voters than the subject. First, Maxim readers seem oblivious to the extent to which their tastes in women have been shaped by today's surgically enhanced models and actresses. Talk about an image being forced down their throats.

Second, conferring a title as vicious as unsexiest woman alive on anyone reflects a poverty of spirit that, in itself, cancels out a Maxim reader's qualifications to choose the winner of any poll.

Except for maybe which male mixed-martial-art star they'd most like to be in the ring with alone and naked.

Comments

[pthalomarie]

It cracks me up when people argue over definitions of beauty or sexiness as if the standards should be altered out of a sense of "fairness" to women (and men) who do not fit the traditional mold. The subjective nature of sexual attractiveness means that it can't be argued. You either find someone sexy, or you don't, and odds are no one can persuade you to change your mind.

Wellen is making the same error that evangelicals make about homosexuals; he assumes that finding SJP sexy reflects having a high intellectual or emotional character, just as (some) evangelicals assume that finding the opposite sex attractive reflects a higher moral character.

Maxim might be a sophomoric publication, but it reflects a global assessment of feminine beauty that can't be argued away. Some guys might find SJP sexy, but more men (and women) find Angelina Jolie sexy, and you can't scold them into changing their mind. Yes, standards of beauty have changed, but the fact is, in this day and age, Angelina fits the current standard more than SJP does.

[Jkenn8]

I agree with the poll, but not because of her physical characteristics. It's because her claim to fame is Sex and the City. That shows personifies what is most frustrating for me as a young single male. The women of my generation try to emulate the Sex and the City women and that is not good. The Sex and the City women are nothing but a bunch of pathological, materialistic narcissists. That is what I have to choose from- blond materialistic narcissists, brunette materialistic narcissists, or redhead materialistic narcissists. There is a serious shortage of good women and we have the queen of materialistic narcissists- Sarah Jessica Parker- to blame.

[dashriprock223]

part two

Whether SJP likes it or not, she's receiving a bit of 'backlash' for a role she CHOSE to play. (that and other roles that unfortunately 'typecast' her) The show is marketed to WOMEN. (ok...and gay men too) And while WOMEN might envy a person like SJP or her character (because lets face it...most these days can't separate fantasy from reality) for having a forum to blame men as the bane of all existence, men ARE clearly saying what they DON'T find sexy anymore....namely, anything that either puts men down, or suggests the world would be better off without them, or that their sexuality can be replaced by being 'fashionably lesbian'. (lets face it....men USED to like fantasizing about it, until angry western hemisphered women with severe psychological DADDY ISSUES were actually starting to 'convert', blaming men for their defection....) or a four hundred dollar pair of Jimmy Choo's. Any mystery as to why Madonna and Britney were on the poll?? Hey...ya wanna be a "Material Girl".....don't let US stop ya. Now go be 'sexy' all by yourself.... Funny how K-Fed actually turned out to be the MORE responsible of the two parents, huh?? Who would have thought???

See the REAL problem here is NOT that the MEN stated what they don't like, or find attractive, or sexy.....it's once again, the woman's inability to accept that what a man might have to say has any validity at ALL..........

[dashriprock223]

Questioning Maxim's readership in the poll results, would almost suggest that those who read Vogue and Cosmo are somehow.......Mensa candidates??? ummm....rriiiiiiiiiigghhhhhht. I suppose the same would apply for those who actually WATCH Sex And The City too, huh?? rrriiiigghghhhhhht.

Listen, for every woman who even wasted one half hour of her week actually watching that show, there is a man who, strangely enough, sat and looked at her from across the living room and found his woman to be the LEAST sexy while watching it. Don't believe me?? rrriiiigghhhhhhht

Let me see if I get this right.....watching a show about women who blame men as the root of all their problems is somehow supposed to be.....sexy. rrriiiiggghhhhhhht. And I'm supposed to actually find the QUEENPIN of the four nincomboob characters on this show......sexy. riiiiiiiigghhhhhhhtt.

[omnidave]

There's no doubt that SJP is overrated as a beauty, and that's probably what Maxim's poll reflected. She cashed in on "Sex And The City" and her plain face is everywhere now, and many wonder why she matters. "Sex" was a great show, and Sarah's a good actress, yet her femaile co-stars were hotter than she was. The success of the show was that a plain-jane could go far with high-fashion and classy friends.

[newsreader21]

Considering that SJP is 41 years old, has not been botoxed, implanted, & surgically enhanced, I think she looks pretty damn good! Just how many women in their 40's do the 13 year old minds at Maxim consider even women let alone sexy?
And like someone had said, I'd love to see what these Maxim judges and all the ones that criticize her harshly look like! These men would rather believe that their OWN appearances don't matter because of the big fat lie-"woman care more about personality in men and not looks, they arent as sexual as men are". BALONEY.
Unfortunately alot of women have settled for less rather than wait for what they really want. Does anybody really believe that young vital women would marry rich old farts or beer bellied men with baseball caps on if there were more guys who looked like George Clooney and Tom Cruise?
There are people who I see everyday who I don't consider "sexy"-but I don't make mean insensitive comments about them. Such people are waaay insecure about their own looks and selves.
These harsh criticisms of SJP proves what a psychologists said: While you're pointing a finger at someone else three fingers are pointed back at you!

[caviar08]

Sara Jessica Parker is incredibly sexy! She's smart, sophisticated, elegant, classy, and beautiful! As a fan since she appeared in The Valley Girl (I live in the San Fernando Valley), she continues to be an accomplished actor, and has created what appears to be a wonderful life!
Thank you,
Eric

[1step2far]

So SJP & Beth O walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey! Why the long faces?"

[Husk]

I think she could have just brushed off this commentary on her looks and been the bigger person in the end, but I'm sure it hurt. And since the subject of irony has been brought up, I mean, if this is the best attempt that Maxim can make at being ironic themselves, then as a publication, they are to be pitied. I don't blame her for responding, but I think it only made her look worse to those who already seem to resent her for some reason. She should not address this anymore.

[CarloValachi58]

I have to agree with Maxim 100%. I just have to wonder if Angelina Jolie was a close second? I have never understood where people get the idea that these 2 women are sexy. These 2 are so butt ugly that their parents probably had ti tie pork chops around their necks just to get the family dog to get near either of them.

[sakara18235]

Ms. Parker bad-mouthed Delores Fuller as the worst actress ever...so---POETIC JUSTICE.

[mavblur]

Sigh, "Maxim's readers object to having a sex symbol chosen for them on the basis of her success in a "women's" TV series" This is the a telling comment! What a surprise men object to having their sex symbols chosen for them! Sarah isn't alone. There are many other starlets that the media labels "sexiest" that many men (me included) don't find the least bit attractive. Frankly who judges these things? Perhaps women and gay men aren't the best judges of who men would find most attractive just as men and gay women wouldn't be the best judges of who women find the most attractive. Just my 2 cents.

[AriannaEgo]

Fluff. For people who take delights in other people's lives and have no moral compass of their own, then Maxim, the National Enquirer and Huggington Post are for you.

[WhatCenturyIsThis]

I personally think it is worse than just objectifying women. I think the people at Maxim are behaving immaturely at best. They are displaying a blatant disregard for others feelings and have crossed the line in a way that should have some form of legal retaliation. I am a life long Democrat/liberal and these are just the type of "values" that I have seen more of in the past 8 years. Let's hope we can truly return to a "kinder and gentler" nation and rags like Maxim will go by the wayside.

[centralprkwest]

With all that money you'd think she'd get that horrible growth chopped off of her face. I know she has a high self esteem and is proud, but that is no beauty mark ala Cindy Crawford. When I see her face I think of Fraggle Rock, but from the neck down she is bangin'.

[vdoticious]

Hmm..maybe she likes herself they she is, ever thought of that?

[tombollocks]

I think she's very sexy. Beautiful? No, I don't think so. But she is lovely and attractive.

Of course Maxim readers think freakish implant addicts are sexy (think of a certain Baywatch actress), so there you go. To each his own, I guess.

[parrot46614]

maybe not the most beautiful girl at the party but always one of the sexiest

[kimbakristin]

Who in the hell cares what men who read Maxim think? Now the men who read Harpers or The New Yorker, that's another story ...

[thegirlnextdoor]

No doubt about it - the men who read Harpers and the New Yorker Magazine are the sexiest men in the world!

[livesimply]

They ABSOLUTELY are!