"Unsexiest" Woman Holds Mirror Up To Judges
"Am I really the unsexiest woman in the world?"
That's the rhetorical question actress Sarah Jessica Parker posed to Grazia (which actually bills itself as Britain's "first glossy magazine"). She was responding to the title of "Unsexiest Woman Alive" bestowed upon her by a poll of the readers of another magazine, Maxim.
In questioning their choice, Ms. Parker fails to notice that she's acquiescing to the notion that there really is an unsexiest woman in the world. But she deserves credit for bravely admitting that it caused her significant pain, enhanced, in turn, by her husband's anger.
"Do I fit some ideals and standards of some men writing in a men's magazine?" she asked. "Maybe not." (Plaudits also for taking the trouble to Q & A herself, thus lightening the interviewer's work load.)
Again, Ms. Parker is on the right track, but only halfway there. She herself illustrated the point in the 1991 film LA Story. Playing SanDeE*, a dizzy, flirtatious young woman, she beguiles the middle-aged Steve Martin. (And, in the process, makes it impossible for girls to ever unselfconsciously twirl again.)
By parodying it in its most juvenile and blatant form to a T, Ms. Parker draped herself with the mantle of sexiness and the rest was history. It's indicative of her intelligence that her career was built on irony.
Maxim's readers likely weren't singling her out for a lack of sexiness, which no red-blooded man can dispute at this point. Arguably, it's her long face to which they object.
In fact, Ms. Parker is the latest in a long line of formidable women stretching from Cleopatra to Bette Davis to Madonna. Though lacking the symmetry of a classic beauty, they bent men -- and the world -- to their whims, whether by disposition, determination, or talent.
The case can be made that Maxim's readers object to having a sex symbol chosen for them on the basis of her success in a "women's" TV series. Also, there's no disputing that La Parker is ubiquitous -- besides TV, from billboards to magazine ads to commercials -- not to mention, much the richer for it.
But, as is too often the case with a poll, it reveals more about the voters than the subject. First, Maxim readers seem oblivious to the extent to which their tastes in women have been shaped by today's surgically enhanced models and actresses. Talk about an image being forced down their throats.
Second, conferring a title as vicious as unsexiest woman alive on anyone reflects a poverty of spirit that, in itself, cancels out a Maxim reader's qualifications to choose the winner of any poll.
Except for maybe which male mixed-martial-art star they'd most like to be in the ring with alone and naked.
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I remember when Maxim interviewed then 40 year old Sheryl Crow. Their 20 something writer was asking her the kind of questions one would ask a young bimbo. Crow would have none of it and put him in his place with each answer. Maybe the Maxim editors were trying to show her as a bitch, but face it straight guys: not every hot chick wants you (and trust me on this one: neither does every gay man).
Straight men need to get over themselves in thinking that what they think is of the utmost importance. From what my women friends tell me, they should concentrate more on their personal hygeine.
So Samguy, tell me how you feel about the last line in this column, the one that insinuates that if you want to be naked with Chuck Lidell you ought to be ashamed?
I saw SJP in very bad unbearable movie with Matthew Mc Conaghy . She was trying so hard to be cute and she is over 40 and looks it , that is NOT SEXY, I forgot the name of that old classic movie where this actress try to play a young role in a role for a younger woman and she looked real bad as an aging Star.. ( great movie ) it was embarrassing watching SJP trying to be cute like " Sex in The City". .( even in the TV show, when we watched it we were always saying she is too old to be playing it " cute" in NYC. Anyway , what is sexy about her is that she made a ton of money. I just hope that the movie "Sex in the City" will show her as a mature 40 year old! If SJP does not watch her roles, she might be the next " What ever happen to baby "Jessica" ( Jane ) Bette Davis movie!!!! SJP play roles your age you are 40 Plus and look it. Who are you fooling? Be a good actress and play mature roles, you are way pass " Cute". Save cute for your husband! You may not be a beauty and sexy but you are nice to look at. Be sexy for your husband he is the one who should care!
I think you miss the point of Sex and City.
And what is wrong w/looking over 40? 40 is still young, my dear. Who are you to say how a person should portray themselves at whatever age? & what are you saying, that there are only single women 30 and under in the city? I was glad that the show had women in her age range because that is the TRUTH about single woman today...in their 30's and 40's with a youthful outlook on life. SJP has style & class. I never hear people puting down Pamela Anderson for dressing like 20 year old trailor trash with her ginormous fake boobs forever hanging out. She still tries to be cute too & she's waaaaay past cute. Her face is weathered, wrinkles & lines everywhere & nobody says a thing about it in our "polls" because our society's standard of beauty is morbidly fake.
it's a gimmick to get some ink, folks. just like blackwell's worst dressed list. and you know what?
it works!
Sex is everywhere. Fans here think SJP is sexy, because they like her. People say Ann Coulter is hot, because of her body and hair. I think mAnn is ugly because her 'personality' transcends her long legs and hair.
Magazines have their "best and worst" columns. Ever read a "worst dressed" list, it doesn't get any cattier than that! The dissin' after the Oscars? If you work in show biz, you will be called on your looks.
If Jack Black was selling Calvin Klein underwear and perfume, people would say he deserved the tongue lashing he would get. When you put yourself out as a sex symbol, you will be judged as one. You all are saying, "it's okay to enter a beauty contest, but it's not okay to be judged or lose"?
Had SJP’s career been built on roles about intelligent, creative woman, she would not have even been considered in this poll. When your career is built on T & A and casual sex and dresses small enough to fit your children, you will be judged that way. It's not like SJP played Virginia Woolf or Marianne Pearl, she plays a giddy slut.
People call Rosie ugly everyday. Jennifer Jason Leigh’s bikini?. Amy Whinehouse? The reason they didn't win is because you don’t see them plastered everywhere in a postage stamp sized dress. You will be judged on how your portray yourself. Don't suggest you are the sex bomb and then cry when you get called on it.
You know, the more I think about this, the more steamed I get.
YOU aren't allowed to tell me what I think is sexy.
NOBODY has a right to be considered attractive by anyone else.
And the thing that really gets my goat is this bunk about how any man that doesn't find a particular woman sexy is wrong, and that it's apparently a function of being threatened by her power and success.
"But, as is too often the case with a poll, it reveals more about the voters than the subject. First, Maxim readers seem oblivious to the extent to which their tastes in women have been shaped by today's surgically enhanced models and actresses. Talk about an image being forced down their throats."
And you of course are trying to break those chains and free them to find the women you like sexy, because that's the right way to think.
"Second, conferring a title as vicious as unsexiest woman alive on anyone reflects a poverty of spirit that, in itself, cancels out a Maxim reader's qualifications to choose the winner of any poll."
actually, if the poll is of Maxim readers and what they think, they are the ONLY group qualified.
"Except for maybe which male mixed-martial-art star they'd most like to be in the ring with alone and naked."
Ah yes, gay is bad, and if you have gay thoughts, you ought to be ashamed.
You're really raising the bar. Good job.
johnny, please, watch your blood pressure. This argument is not worth risking your health. IMO, you may find anyone sexy or not as you please. Maxim aside, attraction is a matter of personal taste. There are surely more things going on to get steamed about, just read the political articles. No matter which candidate you choose, there's enough to get your blood boiling.
(Continued from comment below)
Finally, before I step off my soapbox, I just have to make one last comment. Why is it so bad to be called "Unsexy"? If thousands of readers of a magazine happen to vote you as the most "unsexy" women....just take the criticism and move on. These voters probably aren't your biggest fans and probably aren't your target market. Why should you even care about this poll? Since SJP did make such a big scene out of this poll, it just tells me that she's insecure about her image. It tells me that she really wants to be seen as sexy and beautiful and has been trying to "perfect" this image over the years. I think she may have equated the success of SITC to her own "sexiness". But I guarantee that if all of the 4 gals on SITC looked like SJP, the show would not have been as successful. Hey Sarah, it's ok not to be the sexiest woman alive and it's ok not to be attractive at all. Be happy with your accomplishments thus far and move on.
Reality checks are tough to take...but everyone needs to be served a little "humble pie" every so often.
What it tells me is Sarah is a real person with real feelings who is capable of being very hurt by completely uncalled for criticism.
I love reading through all of these comments and listening to people vent their anger, hatred and heated comments toward this Maxim poll on SJP. I also love how many of the comments go on to fervently chastise Maxim magazine, its readers, its polls and its existence. They attempt to tear down the magazine by saying it has no credibility, insignificant polls, and idiotic ignorant readers. Yet, for some reason, these folks seem to be so threatened and outraged by the magazine's poll of SJP. If the Maxim magazine and its polls are truly a "piece of crap"...and frankly not worth the time of day, then there shouldn't be so much public outrage about this SJP Unsexy poll. If Maxim is such an insignificant source lacking any credibility, then these polls and topics shouldn't create such a reaction.
Secondly, I couldn't help noticing how some of the comments blasted Maxim magazine for its sex filled, plastic surgery promoting, garbage content and in the same sentence they sing praises about Sex In The City tv series. I'm sorry, but besides the medium that is being used to deliver the content, I find many similarities in the content that's being discussed in Maxim and Sex In the City. Maxim has sex driven content for men and Sex in the City has sex driven content for women. Same garbage different media channels.
(Went over my word count limit, see next post)
I'm a little confused.
I was under the impression that we weren't supposed to evaluate someone's worth based on how reliably the induce erection. I bet Madaline Albright isn't upset that I don't think she's sexy, or that maxim's readers don't think she's sexy. That's because she's not in a shallow profession that demands boner induction.
If she's upset that we don't find her sexy, maybe she should stop evaluating her own self worth based on something so stupid.
So, Johnny, are you a Harpers and New Yorker Magazine reader? Cause you come across as a guy who likes to think. Sweet.
Oh, & I guess you wouldn't be hurt if it was very publicly decided that you were the unsexiest person in the country. Wow! Sooo impressive. You must be an android because anyone human would have some hurt feelings.
It doesn't matter whether the poll was stupid or not, it got out there big time. Look, people are still talking about it. & it's no small thing - the public feeds off this kind of crap. And after all, what is a celebrity without their public?
I can't say with any certainty why any group of people do what they do. But in this case, I have a suspicion.
Have you ever known someone who can't sing a note? Someone who can't find pitch with a road map? Someone who couldn't carry a tune if you spotted him or her a handle? Someone whose singing voice is so disturbing to listen to that it practically causes your teeth to bleed? And have you ever known such a person to sing in public every chance he or she gets?
Substitute "sexiness" for "ability to sing" and you have nailed the problem with Ms. Parker.
It's not that she's ugly. Not everyone has to be beauty-pageant perfect. I'm sure many women have looked at me and had the thought of slapping both my parents.
The difference is I'm well aware of my deficiencies. Ms. Parker, however, revels in her "sexiness." She has presented herself -- in acting roles and otherwise -- as some vision of modern female hotness. It's just not so. Clearly, self-awareness is not her strong suit.
That's what I think is really at work in the Maxim survey. If Ms. Parker were just an actress doing character type roles and not trying to use her "sexiness" to sell products, she wouldn't be a blip on Maxim's radar. But by trying so hard for so long to be something she's not, it's not hard to understand why some people respond with, "Not so much."
Exactly! Sarah Jessica Parker and more importantly the people who make money off of her just have a gripe with losing their grasp on a media market that thrives off of sexiness. It's the same with Madonna, as she gets older we're told over and over again how sexy she has been for how many decades and how many sex looks she has tried, and how she deserves a freaking medal for still trying to look 25. Parker first became successful by playing a nerd in "Square Pegs" maybe going back to playing nerds will work for her.
I saw her in a truly unbearable movie with Matthew McConaghy (sp?), I actually couldn't watch the whole thing. She was trying so hard to be cute (at the age of 40 plud) that it was embarrassing watching her.
The problem I have with this entire "controversy" is that Sarah Jessica Parker's PR people are spreading her outrage just to get more publicity for her "Sex and the City" movie. That fact and her reaction to the article prove just what a hypocrite this fading actress is (What has she succeeded in since the demise of the sitcom?) Parker thinks that Maxim is holding her up to a standard of women with big fake boobs and fake lips. The reality is on the site right now they are recognizing women in categories like "Sexiest New Athlete" and gush over Helen Mirren. Parker should also remember that she has molded her appearance to model standards in some respects, On "Sex and the City" she barely looked a size 2, and had a pretty sizeable rack, which she never showed in sex scenes. As seen in Garnier ads Parker's forehead is as tight as a drum, thanks Botox! To say that the article is an insult to her husband, I didn't think that the paunchy former teen star turned Broadway fanatic was so concerned about being honored for his rugged masculinity and ability to bed ultra hotties. Maybe Maxim readers are sick of their girlfriends forcing them to watch re-runs of Parker strutting around New York chain-smoking in a $6,000 Day-Glo trash bag with a bow on her head making puns about dildos.
Exactly, thanks.
Actually, I think everyone is getting it all wrong. There is a difference between being sexy and being beautiful. There are few women who possess both. There are sexy women who aren't necessarily beautiful. Men (and women) may ask themselves, 'I don't know what it is about her, but damn, she is sexy as hell!'
Being beautiful doesn't guarantee you'll have the sexiness vibe oozing out of you! I think SJP is beautiful, but hey, if were a man I wouldn't want to f*ck her either!
Yes, it's a stupid poll, designed to piss people off. But if I had participated, I would have voted for her, too. It's not because of her looks--that's a matter of preference. It's because she plays a character on a show that is so annoying, with characters who get everything and deserve less than nothing, and they whine incessantly about the most superficial crap. My wife loves that show. Whenever she wants to watch it, it's a chance for me to get on the computer or play video games. But I can always hear that show in the background and I have to stifle the urge to say things like, "Those idiots should be thankful that they're even alive. You'd think their stupidity would have gotten them all killed by now." No matter how beautiful a woman might be, all it takes is five minutes of seeing her as one of those characters and whatever sexiness she may have had is dead.
I vote her unsexiest for one simple reason, she's a big, fat hypocrite. She starred on a show called "Sex in the City" that was "GASP" about SEX, yet THIS woman among all her co-starts refused to do nudity on camera. What is about so many American actresses that they are such prudes?
If I were a director / producer, I wouldn't hire any person who refused to do nudity. No matter how big a name they were.
Good luck with that.
Guess what? There's a perfect industry for the kind of director you'd be...porn. She never had to take her clothes off for viewers to know that sex was happening. Nudity is not necessary, only desired by a bored, sex-crazed audience that risk nothing by seeing someone ELSE get naked..& by sexist directors who don't have the imagination to lead people to know what's happening without actually having a bow-chicka-pow-wow scene.
Just because she's an actress doesn't mean she shouldn't have control over how much of her body is viewed by the public. I mean, God-forbid she believes the only person who should see her naked body is her husband.
Men? Which men? Maybe the men that read Maxim. The men who are on this blog don't represent all or even the majority of men, and neither does Maxim.
Plenty of men wll find SJP attractive, smart and funny. Wonder what the "men" of Maxim look like...
MAXIM's target demographic is 18-24 males, both chronologically and emotionally, even though their editorial staff is predominantly female and the material offered often has the same end result as what COSMO offers but repackaged. Consequently they're not going to get priapic over a woman in her early 40s with two kids who personally reminds me of an older version of my senior prom date but rather vapid, moronic eye candy like Lindsay Lohan and Megan Fox to whom I'd have to explain nearly all of the pre-1990 cultural references on FAMILY GUY.
I'd do her
Why did that ugly expression come into usage? "I'd DO her." "I DID the governor." To me, that sounds nastier than simply saying "fuck".
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