Keys To Life: What If It's Only Up to You?

In order to find the greatest value in the distinction between "Have to" and "Choose to," and "Victim Accountable" that we discussed previously, you will need play the "What if" game as go through these ideas. The "What if" game simply asks you to pretend for a moment or two that each of us is the author of our own life experience, that each and every aspect of our life is a result of our own choice or choices, and that we therefore have unlimited ability to create life just as we want it.

What if everything you experience in life is a result of a choice or choices you have made, consciously or unconsciously? What if everything you experience in your life is a function of choices you have made? What if that were true? If that were true, then you would be an incredibly powerful creator. If it all comes down to you and to choices you make, then it would hold that you could create just about anything you want in life. What if that were true?

What if it is not true? What if your life and your life experiences aren't just up to you and to the choices that you make? What if it's true some of the time, and not others? Well, if it's not true, if life and experience in life simply happen to you, outside of your ability to choose or influence, then that's just the way it is and it probably won't cost you too much to explore the "what if" theory about choice.

But, what if it really is true that your life and your life experiences are a function of your choices, and your choices alone? If that were true, wouldn't it make sense to find out how?

Now, don't get me wrong here. There are holes in this "logic" big enough to cause real angst in a true philosopher, let alone a true pragmatist; however, there are also ideas here that have proven life changing for hundreds of thousands of people.

What if

Now I realize how grandiose, even Looney-Tunes this might seem. However, consider the "What if" side of this idea. If it were true, how much power would that mean that you have over you life? An incredible amount, right? And, just to be intellectually honest, if it's not true, then we are somewhere along the continuum from having no choice at all over to having some, but clearly not all.

If you play the "What if" game for a while, and you discover abilities, choices, or other forms of awareness that were not previously part of your conscious experience, would it be worth learning about these elements so that you could more consciously apply them? If you were to discover a greater role in how you "created" life circumstances where before you felt stuck, trapped, powerless or otherwise without choice, would it be worth learning?

Obviously so for most people!

Again, if it isn't true that you are the one choosing, then it won't really change anything if you can play along with the "What if" game for a while. True, you might lose a little bit of time along the way, but at least you will be able to strike from the list of possible truths in the world, this notion that you are the one who is Response-Able for your life circumstances.

However, What If it is true?

So, let's play along for a while to see where this might lead. There will be two key elements here, "Have to, Choose to" as already noted and the difference between "Victim" and "Accountable." Just so you have an idea of where we are headed, and how Looney-Tunes this might actually be, What If there are no victims? What if you never were victimized in your entire life and, instead, were the one doing the choosing and the one who is both Response-Able and Accountable?

So, for the part of each of us that can blow gaping holes in this apparently insane "logic," all we have to do is focus on things like the abuse of small children, bank-robberies, car accidents, and other, even more tragic and extreme examples of daily life occurrences. If you focus on these kinds of things, you can easily dismiss this "What if" notion before we even get there.

Again, however, if you are willing to suspend judgment, even logic for a moment, there is the possibility that you might discover greater power and ability to create life as you would prefer it, rather than simply accepting (or fighting) what appears to show up out of the blue.

My heartfelt recommendation is that you treat the ideas that will follow in future posts as part of the "What if" continuum. You might also want to re-read previous posts on Symbols vs. Experience, The Power of Awareness, The Jigsaw Puzzle of Life and How to Move from Victim to Accountable.

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You can find out more about Russell Bishop at http://www.lessonsinthekeyoflife.com Contact Russell at: [e-mail]

The author of Lessons in the Key of Life, Russell is a professional life coach and management consultant, based in Santa Barbara California. His intent is to assist you in becoming a more powerful creator of your own life experience, producing more of the results you truly want.

Comments

[Jonahson]

How we perceive things, we always have a choice.

[KillTheMessenger]

I think I might have thoroughly enjoyed this article some thirty years ago, when I was thirteen or so. Back then existence seemed to consist mostly of endless "what if" questions. In the meantime, however, I learned that "what if's" don't matter much. Life is in the driver seat and the best way to enjoy the short years between birth and death is to let life take you where it wants. Just enjoy the sights, sounds and the stuff that I can mention without being censored.

:-)

[vknfal]

Check out "Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection", by John T. Cacioppo & William Patrick.

You can control your destiny. Prolonged loneliness, the perception that you are isolated from others (or sense of rejection) can be as harmful to your health as smoking or obesity. A persistent sense of rejection or isolation can impair DNA transcription in our immune cells. This disruption also impairs thinking, will power, and perseverance, as well as our ability to read social signals and exercise social skills. It also limits our ability to internally regulate our emotions—all of which can combine to trap us in self-defeating behaviors that reinforce the very isolation and rejection that we dread.

The authors suggest a practical approach to creating social connections. Using the acronym EASE: extend yourself, action plan, selection (quality of relationships not quantity), and expect the best. You can alter your destiny and improve your well-being.

[KillgoreTrout43]

If it can be altered, it's not truly, "destiny," now is it? The choices we make are a result of "free will." But not everything in life is, "up to us." I think most of us are aware that we are excersizing free will. It's those that complain about their choices or failures that are being non-productive, or negative. I say never disagree with your fate. Embrace it and make the most of it. This is our best example of choice.

[Agentlady007]

If you always give into fate and ignore the destiny, what is the joy in living out your dreams? I like the creating life part better than the wait and let's see what happens inevitability. Otherwise we use the excuse that our conduct is not as good as it will be "someday" instead of today. This is a very good article. Thank you.