Keys to Life: How To Be Decisive Without Being Divisive

Why do decisions seem so hard to make? Even simple decisions can be difficult, like which restaurant? Or what movie to see. Perhaps it has to do with the difference between deciding and choosing.

Decision Scenario #1 - Paralysis by Analysis

Imagine you are in a corporate meeting to make a decision. The group has in front of it three different options from which to decide a future direction. The moderator asks the group for thoughts about Strategy A. Someone starts to extol the virtues of Strategy A, when someone else jumps in and points out the flaws, limitations and other inadequacies of A.

The moderator notes that there are certainly some serious concerns about A and turns her attention to Strategy B. A similar pattern emerges, with a few comments in favor and another deluge of critical comments about why Strategy B will never work.

All right then, how about Strategy C? There are two very different types of groups that could be present in this meeting. A technically oriented group might devolve into deeper analysis and ever more data, a few arguments in favor and another host of reasons why it won't work.

The group might become paralyzed and decide that there really isn't anything that can be done. (Someone in this instance is likely to mutter, "I told you there isn't anything to be done. What a waste of time.")

Or, it could go something like the following.

Decision Scenario #2: Hope is our best strategy

Again, a group has convened to make a decision with the same three strategies to discuss. A similar pattern emerges, with Strategies A and B being proposed, supported and then shot down.

This group knows it must do something and the first two Strategies have already been dismissed. That leaves only one standing. If you have ever been in this scenario before, you know what comes next.

The moderator says something like: "Well team, with A and B already dead, it looks like the only thing we can do is enact Strategy C." And everyone agrees. Strategy C does not get the same scrutiny as A and B because, after all, we have to do something.

If a team picks the last remaining strategy and tries to force it into action, what happens when the strategy shows signs of not working?

"Try harder!" "Get committed." "Focus!" These are the common admonitions of the leader who has "decided" that the last remaining was the only way to go, and especially true if this leader has been part of arguing why A and B are inadequate. After all, what would happen if this leader acknowledged that Strategy C isn't working, and returned to Strategy A or B instead? This kind of about face might be seen as admitting weakness, that he was "wrong" in the first place. Definitely career limiting in some organizations!

In both scenarios, people were asked to make a decision, not a choice; they were asked to decide rather than to choose.

What's the difference? Let's start with decide, or de-cide. Do you know any other words that end in "cide?" How about the following list:

* Sui-cide
* Homi-cide
* Patri-cide
* Matri-cide
* Fratri-cide
* Genoc-ide
* Insecti-cide

I'm sure you can see the pattern. The origin of these words comes from a Latin root word which basically means to cut , to kill or to tear apart. Another meaning is to "stumble accidentally into a snare."

No wonder people avoid decisions! Who wants to stumble into a snare or be involved in killing things?

Decision Scenario #3 - Choosing Toward Your Desired Outcome

So, if asking people to decide isn't such a great idea, what's a better one? Choice or choosing come to mind.

Choice implies a direction toward something whereas decide suggests moving away from something (cut out, avoid the snare, kill off).

If we are asked to choose, rather than to decide, the discussion might be slightly different. "Let's examine these three choices - how might each of them help us get where we are going (Desired Outcome) and how well equipped we are to successfully implement each choice. (See last week's post about assessing capability)

As the team thinks about each option, it will come up with a choice that appears most likely to result in success for any number of positive reasons, rather than the negative reasoning of what is wrong with each choice.

Imagine that the team has elected B because they feel best equipped to implement it. A and C could work, although both would require resources, skills, abilities, etc that aren't as well developed as those required for B.

Suppose they discover later on that B isn't working as they hoped. Now what? If they had decided that A and C were hopeless, there is no turning back - either they push on or declare defeat. However, had they simply chosen B, it would be possible to revisit A and C to see if now one of them now makes more sense

Or, having learned a bit from implementing B, the team might regroup and discover elements of A or C that could be incorporated into B (continuous or iterative improvement). Or any of many other options that may now become apparent.

The point isn't about being right in the first place in terms of the choice; the point is about continuously choosing toward a desired outcome and having the wisdom to recognize and learn along the way.

Stepping Beyond the Insanity Calamity

Lastly, we have all heard the definition of insanity as "doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result." One reason we see so much apparent insanity in day to day life could stem from people making decisions from a negative stance (away from something) rather than the more positive position of making choices toward desired outcomes. The negative kind of decision process can lead to endless loops of "trying harder" coupled with defensiveness or the need to prove someone "right" by making the decision work.

Our advice: when faced with a decision, first determine your desired outcome, assess your capability to implement each of the available choices, make the best choice you can toward the desired outcome, and stay open to new data which may cause you to reevaluate your choice.

Next week, we will look even deeper into the Cycle of Improvement, focusing more on accountability and how to read the results of choices you have made.

You can find out more about Russell Bishop at www.lessonsinthekeyoflife.com
Contact Russell at: [e-mail]

The author of Lessons in the Key of Life, Russell is a professional life coach and management consultant, based in Santa Barbara California. His intent is to assist you in becoming a more powerful creator of your own life experience, producing more of the results you truly want.

Comments

[OldKnute]

Oh now come on Guys,,, Read what Russell says. It is easy to apply and practical.

You aren"t gona let an old Blowhard like me have the last word, are yas? Read all of what Russell has offered us. There is much to be gathered. Ask Questions. Russell is a good man. Seek his advice, search out clarifications. Explore.

I"ll shut up.

Where is GrainOSand???

Peace all.

All the best

Knute Neo-LIB

[OldKnute]

Ooops.

Guess what Russell. Oh my GOSH!! I bet they think I work for you.

Hahahahahaha!!!!!

Not to worry Russell Bit funny though. Hehehe!

All the best

Knute Neo-LIB

[dora rice]

choose, decide, evaluate, implement, follow up.

[insanityfollows]

Good post, and so true. Part of making decisions, especially hard ones, is that their may be bad that come with that decision. As long as negative consequences can be minimized, and potential good outcomes maximized, that really as much as we can hope for.

Diviciveness, has gone too far in this country and has nearly torn it apart. It prevents us from considering other viewpoints and even changing our minds, which has somehow become a hallmark of failure, rather than a sign of an expanded viewpoint. How bad is it? My mother was looking at some pins in a store recently, and there were some democratic donkeys and republican elephants and fun election-year jewelry. When the daughter commented on the donkey, the mother said "We don't do donkeys!" What?? That kind of narrow-mindedness and divisiveness prevents the discourse required to keep our republic going.

Thank you for doing this post.

[OldKnute]

Soooo True.

We have become a Nation afraid of CHANGE.

Risk Adverse.

Dogma to replace Dreams.
The Past to dictate the Future.
Complacency to overshadow Enthusiasm.
Cynicism to replace Optimism.
Fear to crush HOPE.
Status Quo to preferable to Change.
Caution to negate Courage.
Will, subordinate to others.

FAILURE, REMORSE, PARALYSIS, STAGNATION DISAPPOINTMENT, SLAVERY, DEATH!

And every single person that would support these negative views of life, will tell you they are only being realists.

Reality????

Every Great we know, that we teach our children to admire, hold up as positive role models, write into our history books, teach classes about, venerate, study, learn from,,,,

WERE ALL,,, Risk Takers.

Ford, Gandhi, Nicola Tesla, Mark Twain, Thomas Edison, Henry Firestone, Bill Gates, Martin Luther King, Carol Burnet Abraham Lincoln, Conrad Hilton, Steve Jobs, Neal Armstrong, Thomas Jefferson, Lucile Ball, Howard Hughes, Charles Lindberg, Audrey Hepburn Jack Kennedy, General Macarthur, George Patton, DD Eisenhower, Steven Wazniack, Walt Disney, Milton Berle, Bob Hope, Steven Spielberg, David Salk, Albert Einstein. Ernest Hemmingway. Ben Franklin.

Dreamers ALL,,, Visionaries ALL,, Risk Takers ALL,,,

Vision is everything.

If it can be Dreamed,,, It is possible.

All the best

Knute Neo-LIB

[ThankGodforAtheists]

I decided not to read the whole article.

[Steverino]

When A, B, and C all suck, come up with a choice D, people.

[Russell Bishop - Huffpost Blogger]

Right on, Streverino! The art of choosing vs. deciding, is to stay focused on the Outcome while becoming increasingly Aware of the present situation. Too often in my career have I witnessed people struggling to make something work while denying the obvious - the selected option just isn't working. When the road forks, and the bridge is out for both forks, then what? What do you do? Backtrack, detour, even stopping for a bit are all part of what I call creating options that might help me get to the Desired Outcome. For too many people, it's about getting something done "right," about some kind of perfection pursuit - I'd rather people think about being "directionally correct" so they can learn, iterate, and keep moving. Option D could be something wholly new or a hybrid of previous options. It is said that Edison came up with over 1,000 combinations of filament and gas before he came up with something that would work commercially. A science editor asked him how it felt to have failed so many times. Editson countered, "Failure? LIGHT BULB! Light bulb just happened to have over 1,000 steps to it - If I had your thought process, we'd be talking by candlelight!"

[lewes17266]

Thomas Edison could have never invented the first light bulb had he not first found all those ways to NOT make a light bulb!

[OldKnute]

Well Yes, Russell.

What you described can be more clearly understood as a,,,,

Snapshot of Process.

I mean now detraction. You show the interrelationships of process in a valuable way. CLEAR.

You accurately define the resultant correction as a Hybrid.

In this I recall the same assertions of Process made by Hegel. No different than Einstein and his Pivotal,,,, Grand Unified Theory,,,, Hegel pressed for a single view of an,,, Everything,,, "Inclusive" explanation if Theology, Metaphysics, Philosophy, History, Psychology, Politics. The dynamic manifest tensions, and forces of interplay, in (Snapshot.)

Theses,, Thought, Concept, Dream, Theory.
Antithesis,, Negative, Opposition, Conflicting points of view.
Synthesis,, Result, Outcome, Effect, Product.

To the horror of many, this DYNAMIC PROCESS, once defined,,, was adopted by Marx and others, to justify the falsely assumed need for continual, bloody Revolution, even Fascism (Ouch)

The Enlightenment faired no lest costly a result as in France, when Hegel became the excuse for their Bloody Purges.

In America however, the Hegelian Dialectic would find new life in the assumed functioning of our ever-changing interplay of opposing conceptual tensions that we see in the "Quiet Revolution" of every 4 years Elections.

I however, embrace the Hegelian Dialectic much as I do your definitions.

Not LEFT,, Not RIGHT,, but applicable Hegelian advocate.

Demean Hegel, or shout his genius, the fact remains,, His simple and easy to understand,,,, Model,,, became a axiom of modern thought.

Before Hegel,,,, After Hegel.

Much as Newtonian Physics.

All the best

Knute Neo-LIB

[OldKnute]

Sorry,, Sorry,,

Typo,,, Sorry, Sorry.

"I mean NO detraction."

Please forgive me Russell,, I am blind. This new computer Text Reader is difficult for me to operate.

(Blushing)

All the best

Knute Neo-LIB

[dora rice]

you choose then you decide. Simple.

[magen]

When did it become a bad thing to say-

Uh, ya know what people, this decision isn't working, maybe parts of it are, maybe we, or I, was wrong about some things, but is there a way for us to make the whole thing work?

Changing your mind isn't bad.

[OldKnute]

Precisely Megan,

SPOT ON!!!!!

This is why Russell chart shows an unending flow.

Vision, the DREAM, the aspiration, the GOAL.

Experience, to awareness, building the tools of choice, Result, evaluation of outcome, experience, awareness, choice, ,,,, etc.

America is Nation of seekers. No confidence in themselves and a ready willingness to grab the next Self-help book and take it as gospel.

Russell offers, is a system of process that is applicable to anyone, at any stage in life.

Lets take Awareness,,,, there is a HUGE potential here for creative modification of the individual.

Umm?

Lets say you are considering becoming a Nurse.

What are the best things you can research about the profession? Have you spoken to others in the profession, learned of their likes and dislikes. What is the workload like? Where can you gain experience the quickest? Are their special programs that will help you in deferring educational costs? Should you specialize, acute care, emergency, maternity or geriatrics? Why do some leave the profession? If you later decide to change professions, will your base education be valuable in a lateral career change.

Public Healthcare Nursing, Home Care, Nursing Administration, Medical Research, Visiting Nurse, Contract Nursing, Foreign Aid Worker or Administrator.

ALL before you even make the decision.

The same chart can be applied at any point in the journey.

Ever evolving, becoming, unfolding changing, BUT always applicable.

All the best

Knute Neo LIB

[AuntSally]

"Choosing toward..." is a worthy philosophy.

I'm concerned, however, about dismissing negatives -- also known as side effects. Such tunnel vision often leads to utter disaster.

Example:
"Let's choose toward getting rid of Saddam Hussein"

First rule: Do no harm. Sometimes doing nothing is preferable to making matters worse...

[OldKnute]

Yes Auntsally,

You state the case well. This is why I suggest to examine all possible outcomes. Know your Vision, your Dream, your path well.

Nothing exists with out conceptualizing it first. Any crossroad is only a part of a journey, a speed bump, a minor diversion, not a deal-breaker from a continuing forward to the ultimate goal.

Following the DREAM.

I would also submit that,,,, negatives,,,,, often are not appreciated for the opportunity they include.

A trite submission of a,,, Negative,,,, to a given choice does NOT mean ultimate failure, or even necessitate interpretation as a setback. As a CEO, I was often called upon to,,, second guess,,, pervious decision making of others.

Even when the outcome had been disastrous,, there was always LEARNING. I received in return as more capable, widely experienced, wiser and quality employee through the process. In the long run,, I and the company benefited.

Having corrected the error, our path to aligned goal was nearly always more clear, setting things right, a very simple task,, the experience had taught all what path to take. Most often a 20 minute meeting,, then all went back to work, the TASK was the real teacher here, NOT my directing the process, or micro managing.

My view, Analysis Paralysis, is 100% a guarantee of failure, making a choice is NOT.

When I discovered people that are what I call,, WHAT IF,,,, thinkers,,, I FIRED them the NEXT DAY.

All the best

Knute Neo-LIB

[joebaggadonuts]

Your first statements about getting all the options out before making a decision directly contradicts your last statement about firing WHAT IF thinkers,,, Unless you define WHAT IF thinkers as folks who refuse to ever decide,,,, but you didn't.

[lewes17266]

Decision making has never been easy for me and even after I have made a decision I constantly question myself. That is why I so often look to others to make the big decisions. Conformity has its benefits and everything usually works out fine except when the person making the decision turns out to be dishonest, incompetent, or has ulterior or selfish motives. Circumstances can turn really bad, even painful, when the person making the decisions will not admit he is wrong and continually tries to make the bad decision right.
I know what you are talking about in your scenarios. Group decisions can really be a headache. There is something called "groupthink" also that happens when everyone wants to be agreeable and therefore originality and new ideas are inhibited. People (like me) when placed in groups often want to do whatever the others want.
I like your advice about "choosing toward" an end or result and to stay open to new things which may cause you to change your choice. To decide and to choose really are very different, now that I think about it. I would always prefer to move toward a new thing rather than to stumble into a snare! Who wouldn't?

[dora rice]

choose , decide, implement.