Transformation Keys: Are You Missing Out On Life's Banquet Table?
As we roll out of Thanksgiving and race toward the next round of holidays, it might make sense to take stock of how this year has gone and begin thinking about what you can do to make next year even better. I know, for many of us, improving this year may not seem like much and the notion of "even better" may seem remote at best. Even so, let's carry the idea forward and begin looking to what you can do to make 2009 a better year for you, your family and those you care about.
Typically, this kind of article doesn't show up until the new year is already under way, and by that time, we are reduced to resolutions and other kinds of fake promises of change. This time around, I'm suggesting you take a real look at what your life is like, what your role is in improving it, and what you can actually do about it. And I'm suggesting we begin the process now, and take some real time to think about it.
The first idea to explore is what you currently have in your life, and what that says about you. Not what it says about the world around you, not what it says about politics, economics, or social unrest - what does it say about you and the choices you have made which got you where you are today? You may find it useful to read an earlier set of posts about choice and complaining about life circumstances.
So, let's start with what you already have in life. I mean the whole deal - money, family, job, career, etc. One basic principle in creating more of what you want in life is the ability to let go of what you have settled for so far, something that has been of some value to be sure, but less than what you would prefer.
Try this mental exercise for a moment:
Imagine that you are kind of hanging out in life, with a handful of peanuts as your basic source of nutrition. However, these peanuts are infested with weevils. Appetizing, huh? How are you doing in terms of protein? With the peanuts, not bad. Even better if you consider the weevils. (I know, not the best humor, but it's what I have in the moment).
As you find yourself moving through life with your peanuts and your weevils, you notice a banquet table in the not-too-far distance. Signs indicate that this is the Banquet Table of Life. All that you could hope for in terms of your favorite foods, complete nutrition and exquisite taste are right there. You are being invited to the table. YOU!
You begin to approach the table and someone stops you, saying "Wait just a minute, Bucko. No weevily peanuts allowed at the Banquet Table of Life."
So, now what do you do? You can drop the peanuts and weevils, watch the weevils scatter and the rats eat the peanuts, and proceed toward the banquet table. But a thought enters your mind: "What if this is just an illusion? What if there is no banquet table? Or what if this is just a joke, someone just teasing me? Or what if I get there and it's all been eaten? Or what if I am about to enter the banquet room and someone tells me that I'm not really welcome?"
Sound familiar? All my dreams are out there, but in order to get to them, I need to let go of what I currently have. And as soon as I let go, I then have the uneasy feeling of having nothing. And the world seems to line up to let me know that something must be wrong with my vision or goal.
About that time, one of life's interesting internal conflict emerges: "Well, it may not be much, but at least I know what I have."
For some, that's as far as life ever gets - a bunch of weevily peanuts and stories about banquets that could have been.
So, what are the weevily peanuts in your life? What is it that you have settled for so far, those things that have helped you get where you are, but less than what you prefer?
We will continue with this theme next week, but for now, I'd suggest making a list of what you have created so far in your life, and then rank those creations in three tiers: the top tier are those creations you wouldn't trade for anything; the second tier includes items that are OK, but not great; and the third tier includes those creations that you would really rather let go of in favor of something much more satisfying.
Next week we will explore the Wheel of Life as a way to examine what you have in your life, what you would prefer, and what you can do to begin creating more of what you truly want out of life. In preparation, you might find this earlier post on the difference between what you pursue in life and what you are really looking for to be of value.
You can find out more about Russell Bishop at http://www.lessonsinthekeyoflife.com. Contact Russell at: russell@lessonsinthekeyoflife.com
The author of Lessons in the Key of Life, Russell is an Educational Psychologist, professional life coach and management consultant, based in Santa Barbara California.
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Interesting concept. Lessons my father taught me: there's no such thing as weevily peanuts or life's banquet table. Rule 1 - if your net worth is 0, you're doing better than most. Rule 2 - never borrow money for anything but buying a house. Everything else is cash only. Rule 3 - never buy luxury items (definition: something you want but don't need). Rule 4 - If it ain't broke don't replace it. If it is broke, don't replace it, repair it until it's irreperably broke. Rule 5 - Assume that you have only yourself to rely on. Rule 6 - keep family close because in the end, they're all you have. These rules work.
Great article - that is exactly the dilemma. As I've made some changes in my life I've realised (maybe I was just naive) that this process of evaluating and letting go of the weeily peanuts is ongoing. It's not enough that we do it once but to live a rewarding life have to continue to do it everyday. Perhaps it's the cliche of living with fear...I certainly don't have the answers. I just recognise it's hard but at the same time can't stop thinking about how important it is!
Well I completely threw out the peanuts. I just got out of school today now with an MS in Nutritional Sciences and I also became an RD through the process. A complete life overhaul from having lived miserably in my old profession as a CPA and MBA and a corporate officer . Yeah I made the bucks but now I get to help people as a healthcare provider and I am now out of the rut of living comfortably miserable.
Initially, I did feel that banquet of life might be an illusion but I opted to forge forward and today I finally culminated my path and I was right...it was real with no illusion when I got to the table.
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Fabulous comment! I hope others are reading your reply with open eyes and open minds. Thanks so much for sharing this real life experience!
Thanks. After reading your post, it really hit home for me especially since it was my last day of school. I felt compelled to share. Thanks for the article.
Routine and status quo are my weevily peanuts and "more of the same" takes over.
I think most people are like me and accept the status quo. There are things we need to do in life if we are responsible. Following our regular daily routine is indispensible really. It is routine that keeps our lives in order but it is that routine that keeps us away from the banquet table also.
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Indeed, the familar becomes the comfortable. Just because it is comfortable, doesn't mean it is actually working for your highest good. Great recognition, Lewes!
" I no longer hankered after the tables of the fortunate nor the feasts of the blessed. I was no longer affected by envy or nostalgia when I watched the community life of others" Emil, in Herman Hesses's Demian, published
Hesse would never have made it in the life-coaching biz.
LOL, LOL
oh yes, it was published in 1919.
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Unless, of course, he would! Perhaps a dose or reality is what most are seeking when they enrol the assistance of a coach.
Reminds me of "Auntie Mame," where Roz Russell crows, "Life's a banquet, and some poor suckers are starving to death!" In fact, I think Russell named her autobiography "Life's a Banquet."
I dig that imagery of the weevily peanuts vs. the banquet - tho @ 1st I was unsure of where it was heading.
So now I need to ID the weevily peanuts in my life....
Well, selecting a worthwhile mate and avoiding heartache and STDs might be a couple of reasons why I think life is more than just hopping into bed with people...
This post caught my eye because it is EXACTLY like a dream I had a few years ago. I dreamt I was at a banquet and all sorts of lovely food was laid out, just beautifully displayed an varied. People were queing up around the table, there was an easy flow and nothing seem to be "running out" and no one was impatient or jumping the line. And all I did was circle to see which table to start at to see if what I wanted was on any of the tables but I didn't see it or I just didn't want any of what I saw though it all looked good I just wasn't hopping to it. I just kept circling the tables. Then I woke up.
Russel Bishop: We will continue with this theme next week, but for now, I'd suggest making a list of what you have created so far in your life, and then rank those creations in three tiers: the top tier are those creations you wouldn't trade for anything; the second tier includes items that are OK, but not great; and the third tier includes those creations that you would really rather let go of in favor of something much more satisfying.
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Wow! What an inspiring post.
I've definitely been thinking about trading the old mare in for a newer model with more spring in her step, if you get my drift. Thanks for the nudge.
I'm gonna get me a big old plate of that banquet of life pronto!
Wow! What a coincidence.
I was just thinking about ditching the old fartbag for a better meal ticket, if you get my drift. I'm still young, so why not act now before it's too late to trade up?
Perhaps we should get together. How's your portfolio looking? I'll send you a photo and you send me a bank statement. Let the banquet begin!
LOL! Keep us posted on how that works out for you girl!
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