Over these many months I have written numerous articles extolling the virtue of focusing on what you might realistically imagine creating for yourself in your life. I have tried coming at this from multiple points of reference, all sharing the same basic tenet that positive action stems first from a positive focus - not some kind of lame let's-pretend-everything-is-just-fine nonsense, but taking life as you find it right now and doing what you can to improve.
In recent months, I have tried pointing out the difference between persistence and being stubborn. I have shared some thoughts about being doomed by your circumstances. Most recently, I have tried to draw a distinction between what happens to you and what you choose to do about it.
I have shared examples from people who have survived horrific tragedy and come to prosper later. There also have been simpler and more ordinary stories of everyday folks who work their way back from the miscarriages of a society gone greedy beyond belief. No matter the example, there are still those readers who come back each week only to disparage the examples, suggesting that somehow these very real stories of very real people taking charge of their very real circumstances somehow don't matter. And, of course, they also get to paint me with any color of brush they might choose, as though I were the enemy somehow.
It matters little whether you think these writings are silly or sophisticated, worthwhile or worthless because the truth of the matter is that the only way to know the truth is to experience it. Believing or disbelieving doesn't make anything real or not real.
I have to wonder, though, why those who would denigrate both the ideas as well as those who have managed to put them to good use would keep coming back to these pages week after week? What could you possibly be getting from reading these kinds of ideas each week, knowing as you do that the message is one of self-improvement in spite of circumstances?
One explanation might simply be that many critics have resigned themselves to their current lot in life. So many people seem so willing to lay all blame at the feet of George Bush, Goldman Sachs, or any of a litany of bad guys. Perhaps if this kind of advice and support is condemned enough, the critic will find reason enough to remain confined in the "Ain't It Awful Club."
I know I have my fair share of whipping boys and girls out there for whom I laid off significant helpings of blame over the years. The only thing I have ever gotten from blaming the bad guys is a sense of righteousness and anger; for some, it would appear that righteous indignation is sufficient.
However, as I have witnessed others make huge differences through their involvement, I have noted that although many can be blamed, rarely does blaming alone make a difference. Whether we look to Martin Luther King or Mahatma Gandhi, we will see examples of people who had much to condemn but who chose acts of involvement over verbal expressions of discontent or outrage.
Hopefully, one of Gandhi's great quotes is bearing out here: "Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress." I'm also fond of "When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it--always."
And, of course, one of the all time greats: "You must be the change you want to see in the world" coupled with "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."
If you have either personally experienced one of the many injustices that have befallen so many over the past (decade, decades, century, etc), what would you recommend we do to improve, to move forward?
So, for those who keep preferring to attack, for those who keep wishing to berate the greedy and the tyrannical, I would ask: how does the constant attack and heaping of blame change anything? Let alone improve it.
Please understand that I'm in no way trying to suggest we apologize for the Bush's and Goldman's of the world, or let them off the hook. I'm just asking, what are you doing about it? If complaining, blaming, or raising angry voices were sufficient I should imagine all manner of changes would have been brought to bear by now.
Clearly it takes more than angry rhetoric. Caring, yes. Rhetoric without action? Perhaps not.
What do you recommend?
Please do leave a comment here or drop me an email and let me know how this strikes you.
Russell Bishop is an Educational Psychologist, professional life coach and management consultant, based in Santa Barbara California. You can find out more about Russell at http://www.lessonsinthekeyoflife.com. Contact Russell by email at: Russell (at) lessonsinthekeyoflife.com
Follow Russell Bishop on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Russell_Bishop
I'm sorry to plug my own article here in response but I really do want to share on this topic. I wrote "However, to keep my integrity intact . . . I've developed a rule about complaining to guide me and those I coach: don't complain unless you're willing to do something about it." in 'Complaining about Complaining'.
As to people reading and revolting after your articles I do enjoy your ability to incite passion and its a gift to -- the word seems insufficient -- 'enjoy'. Here's to more of what you're bringing!
James
Be spiritual, if you need be, but let religion go.
Remove the corruptive influence of money from system of government
Elect (poor?) leaders, instead of (rich?) not managers
Everyone should take Accounting 101 in which it is taught that Cash is King, corporations exists for only one reason - to make money, and in the end, the ledger must always balance
America should be less of a Super Power and more a World Leader
Be a good parent whether you have children or not
Have children or, adopt
Be responsible
'What do you recommend?' Use the power of small, simple, and continual improvements.
justonequestionaday.com
I keep coming back, although, as happened last time, I experience my fair share of blasts for agreeing with you.
What can improve America: Each person taking the responsibility to take basic courses in economics and the banking and investment industries. So many blame without understanding these fundamental aspects of western democracy. Once they do, arguments -- left or right -- will become more reasonable; blame will diminish. As you say, blame never improves lives; in fact it is more likely to destroy lives.
What can improve individual lives: Again, accepting full responsibility for our circumstances: the actions we took to create them, and our responses to circumstances beyond our control.
Gandhi is right: those who employ coercive or punitive means -- even if these means seem justified -- always fall.
Perhaps some of our most basic assumptions about how to live are wrong.
Paradoxically, there is great power in turning the other cheek. Great freedom, as well.
Thank you!
You must be active in your own life if you wish to improve it. Many people have ended up in a place that they don't really like but they have either given up trying or never tried in the first place. If you want to improve your life, you need to spend some time figuring out who you are, what you're good at, and how you can use your strengths to improve your situation.
A lot of people have made choiices earlier in life or have run into circumstances that have limited their ability to improve themselves very quickly (e.g., having several children, taking care of aging parents, having a criminal record). But it is possible to work toward making things better.
HOPE that your life can get better. Have FAITH that you can positively influence your situation. Find out how PERSISTENCE can pay big dividends. Be REALISTIC in your goals and the steps you need to take to achieve them. And be willing to admit when you have to CHANGE your goals and plans.
Above all, STOP COMPARING your lives with others. It's the primary reason why television and advertising get people to buy stuff they don't need.
In addition, you challenge us to make a real difference in the world, instead of just griping about it. That makes a whole lot of sense to me; service to others not only improves the world but takes us out of our own "victim" mentality. We are not all in the prominent positions of a Mahatma Gandhi or even a Rosa Parks, yet our generosity of spirit can make the difference in the life of one solitary person who, someday, may attain those lofty heights and make a positive impact on all of humanity.
I appreciate your quest for honest dialogue with your readers. Some readers, as you've noticed, are not all that into dialogue. A favorite employer of mine once told me, "Hey, if you're p!ssing off the a$$h*les, you're doing something right." Kudos on "doing it right" so far!
-Arthur Schopenhauer
Russell-- be patient.
Blessings to you!
worldwide. ("Heterarchy" was coined by early cybernetician Warren McCulloch
at MIT to designate networked structures in which the center of control
constantly moves to wherever is most relevant and useful; he was thinking of
brain function.) At a time when the New Left was calling for grass-roots
political (i.e referred) power, Whole Earth eschewed politics and pushed
grassroots direct power tools and skills."
It is now 42 years later. This shift from "hierarchy to heterarchy" is now a running torrent with the rise of the communication of the Internet. Kingdoms shall fall!
Nothing is over yet. It is only just getting started! Stay tuned!
WE ARE AS GODS
By Stewart Brand Whole Earth Catalog Fall 1968
"As unexpected and ungrammatical as a clap of thunder on a sunny day was the
opening line of that first Whole Earth Catalog in 1968:
"We are as gods and might as well get good at it."
Credit where it's due: I stole the line. Page one, chapter one of A Runaway
World? by British anthropologist Edmund Leach (Oxford, 1968) begins:
Men have become like gods. Isn't it about time that we understood our
divinity? Science offers us total mastery over our environment and over our
destiny, yet instead of rejoicing we feel deeply afraid. Why should this be?
How might these fears be resolved?
…
In other words, Whole Earth embraced the amateurs rather than deplored them.
We rewrote Leach's line to: "We must somehow see to it that the decisions
which have long-term consequences are taken by amateurs who understand what
they are doing."
(contd)
I imagine myself and Russell trapped at the bottom of a mine for days, the toxic gases filling our lungs, an hour or two at most before we suffocate. Then I try to apply the lesson: How can we improve ourselves in this tragic situation? Instead of listing all the silly quips I can muster, I'm simply going to say that it must be nice having problems like yours.
Blessings to you.
Don't worry though, I'll never read anything else because I know you aren't speaking to me. I'm below the threshold of basic sustainence while you have blessings to spare.
Of course, you can always choose to remain cynical and see what that produces for you!
Blessings to you.
AncientPollyanna is right. JohnK26: if you take responsibility, you have taken the first step from complaining to doing something about the state of the government.
BTW, the government is the way it is because we are like we are.