05/14/2006 12:39 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

U.S: Your Mother's Day Calls Are Suspect, Dubai Portmasters Are Not

Today is Mother's Day, the busiest day of the year for long-distance calling.

Given that Verizon, AT&T and BellSouth (soon to be just Verizon and AT&T) have dutifully complied with a National Security Agency request to hand over most of their calling records, you can be virtually assured that the NSA knows where and when you called your mother last Mother's Day, and how long you stayed on.

And didn't your Mom visit Paris last year, and wasn't she on the same plane along with 200 other passengers, including a pasenger who once belonged to a mosque where someone once worshipped who later "attended an Al-Queda training camp" in Afghanistan? Or maybe just someone with the same name did?

Best they know this because your Mom could be a terrorist. Yup, whose to say those are really geraniums in her garden? And wasn't she the one who warned you about germs- even before Judy Miller did?

What's that you say? YOur Mom is not a terrorist? Not your Mom? OK, not yours, and not mine either.

OK, now let me get this straight.

This is an administration that would have trusted Dubai port masters to operate cargo container facilities in U.S. ports.

This is an administration that trusted corruptible Afghan warlords to go in to Tora Bora and grab Osama Bin Laden.

This is an administration that only inspects 6% of incoming cargo containers, and trusts every single Port of Jakarta shipping clerk to be on the up and up.

But this is an administration that doesn't trust you to call your mother.

So I guess I will have to do so here.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!!