The other day my brother Reverend Run texted me with some exciting news: the parenting book he recently wrote with his wife Justine, Take Back Your Family: A Challenge To America's Parents, had just made the New York Times bestseller list. While some might be surprised that a parenting book written by a rapper and his wife would hit the bestseller's list, I wasn't shocked that people of all backgrounds were interested in Run and Justine's views on raising a successful family.
For five seasons, their hit reality show Run's House has inspired families with its honest dialogue on how to enjoy the good times and survive the hard ones. Since Take Back Your Family shares their parenting philosophies in even greater detail, it was only natural that the book would reach so many people.
But the full impact of Take Back Your Family was really brought home to me when I got a call from a friend of mine who had just finished the book. "Please tell your brother how inspired I was by his book. I loved how positive and uplifting his message was," he told me, before adding. "Too bad Obama didn't use the same tone when he talked about parenting. He might not have rubbed so many folks the wrong way."
My friend was referring to Senator Obama's now infamous Father's Day speech, in which he suggested that too many African-Americans think that parenting "ends at conception" and that they need to show more "courage" in raising their children. Jesse Jackson's response to that speech might have gotten all the headlines, but the truth is he was voicing frustrations felt by many in the African-American community. There was a perception that not only was Obama speaking down to people caught up in the struggle, but even worse, in doing so he was providing conservatives with another opportunity to point their fingers at Black men.
But while I respected my friends' view, I had to tell him I thought his frustrations were misplaced. I encouraged him to see that while he felt inspired by Run and frustrated with Obama, in fact they were both promoting a very similar message. "It's just that you've never felt any sort of judgment coming with Run," I told him. "You're so used to him promoting love and acceptance through Run's House that you were open to everything you read in the book. Obama wasn't really saying anything other than, "Take back your families." It's just that since he was delivering that message from the political stump, you heard it as a judgment instead of as encouragement."
What I wanted my friend to understand is that both Run and Obama are incredibly dedicated family men and are qualified, because of the commitments they've made in their own lives, to deliver a message of parental responsibility. And I really believe that when someone like Reverend Run or Barack Obama encourages you to make family your first priority, they're not saying it out of judgment or a sense of arrogance. Instead, they're just trying to help you tap into some of the joy, stability and tranquility that family has brought to their own lives.
But ultimately, I was just thrilled that family has become such a passionate issue, especially in the African-American community. When I hear a very healthy debate about the responsibilities of fathers, when I see Take Back Your Family on the bestseller list or pictures of Barack Obama playing with his daughters in every newspaper, it lets me know a very positive change is taking place in this country. You don't have to dress a certain way, speak a certain way, hold a particular kind of job or even look a certain way to be considered a "family man" anymore. Your race, your religion, your background, the kind of music you listen to -- thankfully all of that is becoming irrelevant. Instead, all that matters is that you make a commitment to putting your family first.
That's why I'm so excited about a Barack Obama presidency. It's going to be incredibly healthy for this country to address the issues surrounding families with a new voice and a new perspective. I'm also extremely proud of my brother--- while he first became famous as a rapper helping introduce America to hip-hop, I believe he's ultimately going to be remembered as the rapper who helped re-introduce this country to family.
Follow Russell Simmons on Twitter: www.twitter.com/unclerush
You ask me, “So you felt what?†and before I answer that question may I say that I was not looking down my nose at the problem and I hope you were not looking down yours in you reply. First, I like you to know I am a white male and have been married to a black female for 26 years. We have 5 children and I am fully aware of all the problems within the African American community .However you cannot put a 70% out of wedlock birth rate sole on the very real problems that you cite.
I agree with the premise that the playing field is uneven and my children and wife have felt it and will continue to feel it. We can all agree that things have gotten better over the last 25, 50, 100 years as Mr. Simmons, Sen Obama , Miss Rice and the list goes on and on would give testimony, yet the out of wedlock birth rate is steadily going up as things get better. Part o
As for my Bible reference, I was not implying that you should just pray and leave it at that but that you should live its words. I know it will not solve all the problems you state it will take a big bite out of the 70% out of wedlock birth rate and that would take a bite out of some of the problems you state. May I close by saying that I was very pleased with your comment below concerning Mr. Jackson. I have been a vocal opponent of his at family gathering for years and not always to receptive ears. Lastly, I hope you understand that there are people like myself out there that may not see things the way you do but that does not make as enemies. A white male is not a racist
just because he sees a different road to the same place…Equality
Children, all children, need as much support and guidance as can be provided in a world of conflicting stimulus and choices. When some aspect of the standard support model goes missing it is not necessarily a prescription for failure or defeat, but it makes the journey that much more difficult for the individual child.
Individual life ultimately is the responsibility of the individuals who live the life. No one can die for you or suffer physical and mental pain for you, though those who care about you may suffer along with you when you suffer.
To deny the historical implications of the state of the “black family†and yet indict individuals for negligence in shouldering responsibility, is to assign blame and still leave a problem to fester. There is no easy answer for resolving this issue. It requires a house-by-house revolution of mind, body, and spirit with support from the surrounding community. It does no require looking at the issue through the filter of race. It more requires looking at the issue through a filter of love and common concern for your fellow human being.
Cosby and Obama were both correct in their assessment, yet post their assessment, struggle, pain, and suffering continue. Mere words spoken from a pulpit or a stage are not the sole answer (I think both men are aware of that). They may be clarion calls but they are not groundbreaking solutions that result in radical transformation.
The journey continues.
-Family is about the sacrifice of the self for the many, hip-hop is all about #1.
-Hip-hop is about hoarding, while family is about giving.
-Hip-hop is an extension of patriarchy and male dominance, while family, true family, is about equality and respect.
"while he first became famous as a rapper helping introduce America to hip-hop, I believe he's ultimately going to be remembered as the rapper who helped re-introduce this country to family."
Considering where hip-hop has taken American culture, I'm not sure I want the same person that helped bring it to America to help affect any family, least of all mine.
Hip-hop has a long, long, LOOOOOOONG way to go before it can claim, in any way, shape, or form, to be a positive influence. Men wearing gold and platinum chains and designer clothes and driving over-priced luxury cars should not suddenly become the ideal fathers. Their priorities are completely backwards.
While I'm not particularly versed in either - I believe rapping is explained as words set to music, and sounds...hip-hop is more of the lifestyle that may include rapping, but it's also about the "bling", cars, cribs, etc.
To me, rap projects more of a way to tell a story...hip hop is more the attitude. Rapping is basically another word for talking.
So, with that being said - I think Obama is one of the best rappers there is!
GObama - '08
He's introducing a discussion not delivering a pitch...
For those who do not want to participate in the progress and discussion of healthy families,
you are always welcome...remember, you are family too!
But sadly corporate media wouldn't give the voice
I think it applies across the board to all races, creeds, etc. If you are responsible for making a kid, you need to be responsible for raising that kid.
That's not being judgmental, that common sense and caring for america's children, and Obama deserves praise for having said it.
Great article, thanks Russell.
Don't wait for an Obama presidency. What if he doesn't win? If you see a problem fix it.
I am suprised that you come disagree with Obama and his harsh words for the black community. The message is what is important. Rev Run's talents allow him to speak inspirationally on the subject and I applaud that. But there should be outrage. Even though the statistics are staggering, our (black) pop culture should be admonished. Rappers preach degredation of our most valuable resource, our women. The result is that the only reward our pop culture gives to women is to act like prostitutes.
Ever since Reagan this culture has been about consumerism and conformity instead of family and community. Why do you think that vacations here are shorter than any other developed country and why do we not have healthcare for all????
We can blame Reagan for a lot of things, but this isn't one of them. Innovation and invention, coupled with mass production, require a consumer culture.
Let's blame Eli Whitney and his cotton gin, or Henry Ford and his production lines, or Edison, or Marconi...
America is a country built on individualism and no matter who governs, that is not going to change much. Rappers like Snoop Dogg, Nelly etc. are all huge stars who have the commercial power to direct how the image of the black men and women in their videos. Instead they continue to conform to misogynistic and sexist stereotypes that depict a very negative picture of the black community.
If Hugh Hefner promotes pornography, it does indeed depict women in a negative light however for every caucasian female porn star, little white girls have 10 other positive female caucasian role models to look up to. Little black girls only see video girls shaking their backsides. Oh yeah there is Oprah and Tyre of course (that 2 against how many video girls).
Little black boys have flash rappers and cheating basketball stars.
This is a problem the black should take full ownership for. Its caused by us, to us and should be resolved by us.
As for Obama's sentiments, I totally agree with his approach. It was said out of love and fraustration not disdain.
My son was in a hip hop group in college. Of five rappers he was the only one raised with a father in the home. Barack and Jesse were raised without their fathers. Its funny how Jesse could be so offended by Barack and made me see that Barack is truly post-racial aqnd Jesse is all racism.
Many women are willing to break a law and make false claims of abuse to make men look bad in the eyes of the court. From there on the man is always the bad guy. I know a Lawyer the state use to drop kids on when they had made an arrest who was falsly accused just that that reason to make momma look like an angel in court.
Fathers need a level and equal under the law field. They do not have that now.
I just read about Cindy McCain's father's treatment of his first daughter by his first marriage. He cheated on his first wife with the woman who would become Cindy's mother. His will left Cindy all the millions and the first daughter a scant $10,000. Family values. By the way McCain too cheated on his first wife with Cindy.
As for Jesse. He was the child of an unmarried teenage mother who also had the same history. He lived in poverty while his relatively well off "father" ignored him. Now Jesse has one child not by his wife. Perhaps he took Obama's comments a little too personally.
As for women... Until women are respected as people, and particularly black women (note the attacks on Michelle Obama), and are able to push back on all the messages in our culture that tell them their chief calling is to pimp and primp before men or serve under them, then they will be undervalued and attract men who will be prone to use and abuse them. We need to address this crisis in our culture that devalues women as sex objects and servers as well as counter conservative critics who don't care for black people except to point them out as objects of scorn.
Women have always been the gate keepers. They have to choose high quality men, or simply insist that their men demonstrate some level of commitment and competence before letting sex into the relationship. "The Player" cannot thrive without women willingly accepting a womanizer as a sex partner. Too often good men, are the last to get attention in the black community. Women must set the bar higher, men will inevitably rise to the challenge.
Obama 08!!!