Bullet Points

In Education News today:

The Arizona State Senate is considering a bill to guarantee 21-year-olds the right to carry concealed weapons at public colleges and universities, and that is just plain wrong! Why leave out 18-year-olds? Considered perfectly capable of killing our enemies overseas, and deer and woodchucks at home, must they be sitting targets for crazed gunmen in trench coats and black watch caps invading their classrooms?

Fifteen states altogether have proposed legislation enabling people to pack heat on campus, though frankly, I didn't realize it had ever been much of a problem. So far, it has seemed like a snap to open fire in Geology 101 if you felt like it. (And I remember the feeling.) Now some lawmakers want to legalize the freedom to shoot back, which I suppose is o.k. But I'd hate to be the parent of an 18-year-old forced to leave his or her Glock at home on the morning some psycho decides to grab his. So I say: Leave No Child Behind...cowering under the desk.

Of course college kids aren't the only sitting ducks. I admit they don't make pistols small enough for kindergarteners, but there ought to be a law: Like pilots, every public school teacher should be armed at all times. At the very least, I bet kids would be a lot better behaved.

In other news, school districts across the country are experimenting with paying cash to students who do well on tests. What took them so long? This is the 21st Century, people, and gold stars have not been cutting it for decades. I'm all for rewards, but let's not forget punishments. Kids who fail miserably should stand to lose something, starting with lunch. An F in Algebra? Hand over your Beretta! Of course parents should become more involved, too. If a kid flunks a test, maybe Mom and Dad should have to forfeit their tax rebates or their child's Ritalin.

Bribes and guns in the schoolroom! It's the American way.

Comments

[Thirdpower]

In most states you have to be 21+ to have a CCW license.

Can you present a realistic measure that will STOP school shootings from happening or should the students continue to rely on others for their protection?

[postess]

Hopefully this time next year these things will be a lot less the American Way. Or at least this time two years from now. Perfectly pointed as usual, regardless. More from this writer please!