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Ruth Bettelheim, Ph.D.

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The War on Sex: The Contraception Controversy's Hidden Agenda

Posted: 03/ 6/2012 3:59 pm

The many condemnations of Rush Limbaugh's remarks about law student Sandra Fluke are appropriate, but they have thus far ignored the important subtext of his comments -- specifically, a contradiction so powerful that it is changing laws across the country to the detriment of both men and women.

Some of Limbaugh's less incendiary (and thus less discussed) assertions merit further scrutiny. For example, Limbaugh expresses outrage at the idea that female contraception should be provided by medical insurance, claiming at one point that it is unnecessary because "the Washington, D.C., Department of Health will send you free condoms." This makes it clear that contraception -- even taxpayer-subsidized contraception -- is not really the source of his outrage. But then, what is?

It is instructive to consider his description of his fantasy that Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich will "spy on Sandra Fluke and interrupt her in mid-coitus, and then they'll make 'em [sexually active female Georgetown law students] get married. They'll make 'em get married and then make 'em have those babies and make 'em have 10,000 babies and then stay home..." Here Limbaugh both luridly depicts male politicians as peeping toms and passes judgment on the imaginary subjects of this salacious interest -- indeed, even sentences them for their crimes. Their punishment, naturally, is to have more sex and bear the reproductive burdens thereof -- but only under the control of husbands who keep them locked away at home (where, presumably, they can find no other outlets for their insatiable lust).

In even plainer terms he first called Ms. Fluke "a slut, a prostitute," and then the next day demanded that she arrange to have "the videos of all this sex posted online so we can see what we are getting for our money." These statements give away the profound, secret paradox in his condemnation of Ms. Fluke and outrage at her presumed (though not fact-based) promiscuity. Mr. Limbaugh wants to punish and castigate women who fail to practice sufficiently puritanical morality, while also unashamedly proclaiming his lascivious interest in watching the 'slutty' uninhibited sex he imagines them having.

This contradictory set of demands -- that women should be ashamed of their sexuality but nevertheless behave shamelessly for men's pleasure -- is neither insignificant nor his alone. Although his statements are widely being denigrated, the issues at stake retain their political traction. The Republicans and other social conservatives arguing for contraception and abortion restrictions may reject Limbaugh's phrasing, but they are nevertheless supporting policies that, as one Alabama legislator put it, are "designed to humiliate women." Over twenty states already have legislation subjecting women to unnecessary medical procedures, a practice that was notoriously employed by the Soviet Union to coerce compliance. Several more states are currently debating requiring women seeking abortions to undergo ultrasounds.

This controversy has been described as a war on women. It may be that, but it is also, and perhaps more effectively, a war against sexuality itself. To the degree that social denigration and government-imposed restrictions are successful in inculcating shame and fear, they foster sexual inhibition both in the marital bed and outside it. People who are ashamed of their bodies and sexuality, or fearful of the potentially dire consequences of sex, are not likely to be relaxed, uninhibited, or enthusiastic in the bedroom.

The proliferation of media discussions, books, articles, and blogs about sexual difficulties - not to mention the popularity of sex therapists - is a testament to how uncomfortable and dissatisfied couples are with sex, no matter their political orientation or marital status. Unfortunately, no quantity of therapy, books or articles can repair damage that is done on a widespread social scale by a combination of private disgust and public policy.

Until we recognize that the true victims of this crusade include not only women but also sexuality itself, we are unlikely to end it. Both sexes suffer when women are subjected to puritanical standards, public humiliation, and the private belief that the very sexuality they desire is "slutty" and shameful. If we are to overcome what ails us in the bedroom, we will have to address what happens in the public arena and end sanctions on female sexuality.

Dr. Ruth Bettelheim is a writer, lecturer, and executive/life coach specializing in the development of human potential. She is based in New York and Los Angeles and can be found at RuthBettelheim.com.

Via The Op-Ed Project.

 

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The many condemnations of Rush Limbaugh's remarks about law student Sandra Fluke are appropriate, but they have thus far ignored the important subtext of his comments -- specifically, a contradiction ...
The many condemnations of Rush Limbaugh's remarks about law student Sandra Fluke are appropriate, but they have thus far ignored the important subtext of his comments -- specifically, a contradiction ...
 
 
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03:00 AM on 03/09/2012
I agree that there are hidden agendas at work here. There is a hidden agenda to distract from failed economic policies of the President and the Senate which hasn't passed a budget in a couple years while the deficit keeps skyrocketing. There is a hidden agenda to enlarge the government so much that they can demand that religious institutions set aside centuries of beliefs because the government is the arbiter of morality now. There is a hidden agenda to increase government control of the economy even though it will enslave future generations in debt. There is a hidden agenda to force religious institutions and citizens at large to pay for abortions/abortifacients even though President Obama won support among moderate Democrats and from the Catholic church for his health care plan by promising that would not happen and even though the general public has made it clear for decades that they do not want to pay for other peoples' abortions. Ignore all that though. Let's talk about a radio show host.
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KeepLeft
This is not my self.
06:37 PM on 03/08/2012
I'm going to try one more time:

This is not merely about "women" per se (tho you are overwhelmingly those being affected).

Although the misogynistic right-wing men in government have no problem continuing to set women's rights aside, I do not hold that this is merely about "sex". I believe this entire fiasco is a stalking horse by the health care insurance coprporations, upset at being mandated to provide generic pharmaceuticals for which they make little to no profit, to so many "healthy" women of child-bearing age. They have fiduciaary responsibility to maximize profits and this is how they're doing it. They've donated to the reelection campaigns and lobbied both the fiscal conservatives and religious conservatives in government to shirk this new mandate and have no qualms allowing the Limbaughs the O'Reilleys or the Santorums and Gingriches of this world to fight this battle in public for them.

Take to the street, sure, but occupy the shareholder meetings of Unitedhealth Group, Wellpoint, Kaiser and Aetna etc.

Many many of us men value all that you do and we'll help as much as you'll allow us.

Happy International Women's Day!

xoxo
12:53 AM on 03/09/2012
I do not really see your arguement. The insurance companies can only profit fom women using contraceptives. They are much cheaper than prenatal care, child delivery and raising a child for 20+ yrs. They can keep more money people pay in preminums, rather than having to pay out huge sums for childbirth. I think it is the right wing agenda's doing, which has always been the same.. Do away with abortion any way they can. They think it is too easy for women to obtain abortions now and they want to humiliate and shame them for their choice. Also, by banning contraceptives, they can ensure the morning after pill is not prescribed by physicians. By passing a law making it mandatory for women to have ultra sounds and watch videos of a fetus with a heart beat, they hope to change a woman's mind by appealing to her maternal nature. If these same women were not put into desperate situations, or had support from the father's of the unborn, there would be many less abortions. I believe very few women use abortion as their choice of birth control. It is not without its health problems. It is interesting, Rush Limbaugh has been married four times and has no children. Either he has a sterility problem or has used some form of contraception.
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KeepLeft
This is not my self.
05:59 AM on 03/09/2012
Contraception is used by most women, including 98 percent of Catholic women. The Affordable Care Act, will require most health insurance plans cover women’s preventive services, including contraception, WITHOUT CHARGING A CO-PAY OR DEDUCTABLE. (a loss leader)

All those other services you rightly mentioned are billed and billed heavily. They all make money for the corporations.

The monthly cost of contraception for women ranges from $30 to $50, and experts agree that savings more than offset the cost. It's estimated that it would cost employers 15 to 17 percent more NOT to provide contraceptive coverage than to provide it. Employers - not insurers.

I said this is not the entire thing - and you are right, there is a battle being waged against women on many fronts in this election cycle - knowing they cannot win on economics, they are using the triple treat of guns, gays and gynecology to get out the vote.

As to Rush and his lack of progeny after three marriages - Goggle "Jeff Christie" and read about Rush's arrest(s) and how Elliot Sanders simply guarantees that, "none of his marriages was ever consummated."
11:03 AM on 03/08/2012
Has no one realized that Limbaugh was being sarcastic and that Dr. Bettelheim is seriously analyzing satire?
01:02 AM on 03/09/2012
Being sarcastic ? Satire? Calling a young woman a slut and a prostitiute and saying he would like to see her and the other women make a sex video so he could get his money's worth. Then for 3 days straight he berated her 53 times. How lame is that idea? That is about as funny as Rush Limbaugh is really a Democrat and has spent all these years trying to make Republicans look like fools so women can rise up and change the history of America and Democrats can rule everything. Do you believe that one?
06:30 AM on 03/09/2012
Limbaugh certainly--as even he admits--sank pretty low on this one, and there's no doubt he intended to criticize Fluke. But do you really think he could be serious about wanting Gingrich and Santorum to "spy on Sandra Fluke and interrupt her in mid-coitus"? He says things like that tongue in cheek in order to make a joke out of liberal stereotypes of conservatives. I just thought it was ironic that Dr. Bettelheim was treating that remark (and the admittedly-inappropriate sex tape remark) like it was a confession he made to his psychologist rather than a bad joke.

If you want to understand Limbaugh's use of humor, read Zev Chafet's biography of him or listen to the show for a while.

Please note that I'm not interested in defending him, just explaining him.
01:52 AM on 03/08/2012
This reeks of Victorian Ideology...

Next they will revoke or inhibit our ability to vote, own land, have short hair, and wear pants. Ladies start learning how to darn again and stock up on petticoats. I can't even begin to imagine why we are still having to fight these battles for personal freedoms! Adult/Sex Industries that profit off sexuality would not be some of the wealthiest industries if MEN didn't want hookers, strippers, porn stars, etc. It is acceptable for them to CRAVE this sexuality from women, yet denigrate women, our rights, and our sexuality. Hypocrisy!

Oh, and we should just all start preparing to sleep in separate bed chambers at this rate...
08:13 AM on 03/08/2012
Make sure that door is locked...
Bubba wants to keep you barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen.
YOKEL13
Gimme more! - unofficial GOP motto
11:02 PM on 03/07/2012
While agreeing wholeheartedly with the article, I would add this:

There is another aspect to this "war", and that is an attempt to stifle women. First, a Congressional Committee bans women from a hearing that primarily affects them (women). Next, a young woman who does testify in a different venue is subjected to Rush Limbaugh's humiliating tirades. The lesson seems to that women should be used, not heard.

As for contradictions, try the hypocrisy involved in opposing both abortion and birth control. No one can oppose both and be morally consistent.
01:56 AM on 03/08/2012
Sure they can, if they want to punish people for having sex. Which is really all they want to do.
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BMcCue7
I'm Buddy McCue (and you're not.)
05:41 PM on 03/13/2012
I've often suspected that's the common thread behind the anti-abortion movement and the anti-birth control movement.

None of it is actually "pro-life" or "pro" anything else; it's just a puritanical desire to punish women.
YOKEL13
Gimme more! - unofficial GOP motto
10:50 PM on 03/07/2012
An insightful and enlightening commentary. Thank you.
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Mary Poe
09:46 PM on 03/07/2012
Perhaps we wouldn't be having this discussion if men would use birth control all the time. Isn't it the
responsibility of men to make sure that women are protected? Why are women fully responsible for the ramifications of sex?
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AkiraBergman
09:20 PM on 03/07/2012
"Until we recognize that the true victims of this crusade include not only women but also sexuality itself, we are unlikely to end it."

The mother of all right wing crusades is the war on personal freedom, be it on sexuality or freedom of political expression (in the end the same thing), to intimidate, coerce and subjugate the masses to the will of the super rich.
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Ruth Bettelheim
07:12 PM on 03/07/2012
Please read and view the video on the front page "Birth Control Debate: New Hampshire Lawmakers Pass Repeal Of Contraception Coverage" wherein it is asserted that the reason for repealing contraception coverage is that "Abstinence works 100% of the time." I believe that provides additional support for the contention in this article.
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CarryOn
no matter where you go, there you are
07:17 PM on 03/07/2012
Ruth, as an educator I thank you for you information. As the parent of two teen age boys I share your broader concern for each of us to be confortable with our own sexuality. Again, thank you!
12:42 AM on 03/08/2012
They are apparently thinking of only single people. So married couples should only have sex when they want to make a baby. What century is this? Did we step into a time machine or something? What the hell is happening in this country? Where are the men who should be as irate as the women? I would like to see them protesting in large numbers Where are the husbands and boy friends?
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anneeger
Per aspera ad astra
08:51 PM on 03/08/2012
They are all watching porn. I am being mean. But I really would like to see more men to come forward in the defense of sexuality. I feel like you propelled into the Middle Ages. Since when is it bad to have sex?. A lot of sex? I cannot think of another activity which is so pleasurable, cheap , burns calories and is healthy,
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05:14 PM on 03/07/2012
Brilliant, bulls eye piece, Ms. Bettelheim! :)
03:57 PM on 03/07/2012
This seems to be taking bad, illconceived efforts at satire and running with it as if it were serious discussion. There is no effort to limit birth control. There is simply an effort to not force people to have to buy it for their neighbors. Which is what mandated coverage would do. Everyone would have to buy coverage for it whether they used it or not which means everybody would pay for those who did use it. Birth control doesn't save us anything on a national level(simply addressing the idea that there is some collective good in free birth control, there is not.) Our "entitlement" programs all have serious fiscal issues because of reduced birth rates. Individually people might want to have sex without having children. Children do cost their parents a great deal of money(again not society). If they want to there is an easy remedy. They can buy it. Most birth control options aren't expensive. Some are expensive, but there is a reason for that. They cost more resources to produce. Those that make the expensive kind are the group that gets the biggest boost from "free" birth control.
02:00 AM on 03/08/2012
Unwanted, uncared for, possibly unloved children raised by unfit parents is not only a possible outcome of non-subsidized birth control—it is a reality. Frankly I'm appalled that either political party regardless of affiliation would dare to loudly and vehemently oppose taxpayer involvement in healthcare, but nobody even blinks when saddling we the people with, say, big-money bailouts or military excursions. What kind of backwards reasoning is that?
10:55 AM on 03/08/2012
Apparently you are unaware, but we already have subsidized birth control and abortion. What the Obama administration did was mandate birth control coverage without a deductible on health insurance. If people have health insurance they can afford their own birth control. Do you honestly need to have someone explain to you how our military is a shared interest and birth control is not?
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03:54 PM on 03/08/2012
As American as apple pie.

F/f'd.
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ruthsdaughter
Each of us is willed; each of us is necessary
02:38 AM on 03/08/2012
tremendously well said!
02:22 PM on 03/07/2012
SPOT ON article!
The war on women is indeed a war on sexuality, which is in turn, a war on all of us.

I can see rational arguments on both sides of the contraception issue. But the larger issue is this assault on sexual liberty. Regardless of who pays for condoms or the public health or state financial implications of unwanted pregnancies, that one battle is a small part of this war. Rick Santorum thinks certain sexual acts between consenting adults should be illegal. That is not an American ideal to me. Give us sexual liberty, or give us death!
01:36 PM on 03/07/2012
The Republicans may want to make this contraception issue about shame and humiliation for those females seeking abortions. Of course, if Democrats/ Liberals are of the same ilk as Limbaugh, as he has stated in his lame apology, there is no danger of these women being shamed or humiliated. He obviously does not possess those two traits.
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wendyweb47
Keeping an open mind
01:25 PM on 03/07/2012
As a Canadian watching this debate from the sidelines it sounds like this is a debate about socialism vs capitalism in health care. Here in Canada, as you may know, we have what you would consider 'socialized medicine' - everyone gets care - no matter how rich or poor. That doesn't include free prescriptions, but most employer plans do cover most prescriptions, including contraception. For those on low incomes prescriptions are covered.
I get the sense some people (Mr. Limbaugh being one) are ethically offended seeing your health care system change from "everyman/woman for themselves getting whatever health care they can afford" to "all citizens deserve equal access to health care".
Just my 2 cents as an observer. BTW - I was highly offended by Mr L calling ANY woman a slut and a prostitute! To me it shows a lack of respect for all women and a junior high sensibility about women's sexuality.
YOKEL13
Gimme more! - unofficial GOP motto
11:08 PM on 03/07/2012
It's not so much that Limbaugh's ilk are ethically offended, they are basically defending an indefensible ideology. Under the operation of that ideology, the only people who would have health insurance are those that don't need it, namely, those who are sufficiently wealthy to self-insure.

On an ironic side-note, Sarah Palin, in her memoir, talks about "hustling over the border [to Canada] for health care".
01:43 AM on 03/08/2012
The arguement here people use about socialized medicine is they would have to wait forever to get to see a physician and people are left to become more ill or die before they can be helped. I am sure that might happen in a rare case, even here. It would be interesting to hear more about the health care system in your country. How long it takes to get an appointment to see a doctor. How long would you have to wait for necessary surgery and for elective surgery, or organ transplants? How are emergencies handled? It has been my experience most people are just repeating things they hear but not necessarily have talked to those who actually know how it really is. Only someone who actually is involved would know the real scoop. How much, approximately, does each person pays in taxes to cover socialized medicine? Does that vary by individual income?
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wendyweb47
Keeping an open mind
02:41 AM on 03/08/2012
Mary, you've asked some good questions. I'll answer as best I can. To see my regular doctor I can usually book an appointment within a few days, but if it's urgent she will squeeze me in that day. To see a specialist or get certain tests can take longer than we might like, however I suspect you're comment about the 'horror stories' are correct. If you have an emergency you go to the nearest ER. The cost for medical coverage is approximately $50 per person per month. It's a cost that is even sometimes paid for by employers. If not, you pay the government each month. We do have a higher income tax rate than you do in the US and some of that definately goes to health care. But to see a specialist, have x-rays, scans, etc - doesn't cost us anything extra. There can sometimes be costs for prescriptions, but once you've reached a certain $ amount (based on income) they are covered by government.
One experience I had 10 years ago might highlight the difference between US and Canadian medical systems. I was diagnosed with e-coli which had eaten away portions of my spine and one kidney. I was near death when admitted to hospital. I was transferred to a larger hospital and spent 63 days there. I had eight specialists, two surgical procedures, blood tests 3x a day, 20 different medications and treatments. I paid nothing for this care. There was no bill given to me
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sallybutt45
To thine own self be true.
01:15 PM on 03/07/2012
Brilliant analysis, the Dr. has described EXACTLY what lies beneath the barely concealed disdain for women and most especially sexually active women. The problem lies in the recesses of the very insecure, repressed minds of the offenders. You can see it in all the Draconian laws that are creeping into these legislatures and everything from contraception to legislated morality speaks volumes about the minds that are overly preoccupied with the need to keep women "in their place."
YOKEL13
Gimme more! - unofficial GOP motto
11:09 PM on 03/07/2012
... and can't help thinking about other people's sex lives!