People become disabled for many widely varied reasons, not all of them mental. Personally, I have chronic pain and Chron's Disease. These at times are debilitating, but my mental capacity is no different that it ever was. I walk with difficulty using a cane. Sometimes I am in a wheelchair. But judging by the way strangers treat me, when I am even noticed, you would think I have the same status as a five year old child.
Now I want no one's sympathy. That is not the purpose of this writing. I only want the respect and consideration that I used to receive before my injury. But I rarely receive that respect. Rather, I am immediately classified as a cripple and immediately I disappear. You would think I should have my own comic book. The incredible invisible cripple!
Now, I'm an older guy and not inclined to complain much. Always been pretty easy going. But for the last six plus years there has been a volcano building inside me. The frustration of being disregarded is immense. I try with hurculean effort to ignore this disrespect, and mostly I succeed. But occasionally someone does something so incredibly ignorant that I erupt.
I realize that you may sympathize with my dilemma and if so you are sure to react in one of two ways. You will either treat me like a mentally deficient child, or you will smile uncomfortably and immediately erase me from your mind. And I understand why. No one likes to be reminded of their own frailty.
When you see my cane and the difficulty with which I walk you may even experience a moment of empathetic pain. And unconsciously you realize, "there but for the grace of God, go I," And I don't blame anyone for that. It is no fun to contemplate just how easily an injury happens. The discomfort of this realization can effect one similar to nails on a blackboard. I understand this and have felt that way myself. I have no problem with this.
My problem is what comes after. Once the initial discomfort eases, it's as if I cease to exist. You do not acknowledge me because it is uncomfortable for you. It is far easier to blow me off and go on your merry way while trying to quickly forget your discomfort. Mostly, I do the same. I quickly classify you and try to go on my way. I have all the companionship I need and you are mostly as unimportant to me as I am to you. Except for certain instances.
Sometimes I have to do business with you "normal ones." This is very difficult. Many times I feel as if I must do something shocking just to get your attention. And this usually works well enough for me to accomplish my mission, whatever it may be. But your reaction is insulting and hurtful. I know it is an unconscious reaction, but my understanding doesn't go very far when trying to preserve my sense of dignity.
Now, this certainly does not pertain to everybody. In fact there is a large percentage of you who act with perfect aplomb. And when I encounter these enlightened ones, it is a great joy. And I am most appreciative.
As I say, I am not writing this for pity, only for purpose. I want to bring to your attention this unconscious way you react to the disabled. I want you to know that so many of us are only disabled in certain ways. The large majority of our medical problems do not have any mental effect. Some of the drugs do, initially, but the body adapts and the effect goes away. Then, as long as we stick to our treatment regiment, we are mentally normal again.
My reason for writing is to ask everyone to try to move this closer to the front of your mind. Give us a break. Realize that we are just like you except for our individual malady. Try to treat us as you would any other. Just because we have a problem, we are not contagious! Nothing bad will happen to you if you pay attention to us. In fact, you might make a friend, or possibly learn something. At the very least, you can take pride in your awareness and sensitivity.