06/12/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Building the Housewife Franchise

Another 12 week basic cable season, another Real Housewife crew. This time, Bravo's taking us to New Jersey -- a region that, unlike previous H-Wife locales, doesn't produce any produce. Clearly, Bravo is running out of locations; the last thing anyone wants is Real Housewives of Idaho (though at least then the ladies could hold potatoes). We're here to help.

Cross-over promotions are nothing new. But it's an easy strategy for GE (owner of NBC Universal, owner of Bravo) -- package together known quantities, and help both of them gain exposure. And while the producers at Bravo seem to be old hands at this, we have some humble suggestions as well:

Real HouseWifeSwap -

NeNe switching houses with Alex and dealing with Simon? You wouldn't watch that? Like a million times?

Are you Smarter Than a Real Housewife?

The title says it all.

Real Housewives of South Park -

Kenny falls in love with the ever animated Ramona but then he dies when he uses her skin care products.

America's Next Top Model/Chef -

You have 75 minutes to create an original look with this snake, and then cook it for 45 of New York's most discerning dinner guests.

The Real Housewives Matchmaker -

We hope Jeff rests in peace, but who wouldn't watch that schnoz try to set up Gretchen? Or Bethenny? We don't know what we'd cheer for more -- two of our favorite technically non-Housewives finding love or going on an endless string of bad first dates?

Mario Puzo presents Real Housewives -

Oh wait. Bravo already thought of this.

Join us for a special 2 hour liveblog tonight! Reunion and premiere, endings and beginnings, fighting and... fighting.

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