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Ryan O'Connell

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Auditioning for the Real World Is Too Real

Posted: 10/14/10 04:46 PM ET

When you graduate from college, you often do things that compromise your dignity. Some people become telemarketers. Some work at American Apparel. I audition for irrelevant reality shows like The Real World.

Unsurprisingly, the experience was demoralizing, dehumanizing and any other word that you can attach a "de" to. The aspiring Real Worlders I encountered that day were, hands down, the most delusional and sad people I've ever met. Everyone seemed to know each other from previous reality show auditions and they all took pride in belonging to this bizarre subculture of reality star wannabes. They brought laminated resumes -- perhaps to impress the casting director with their jobs at Chili's and Bebe -- and also felt it was necessary to do complex gymnastic routines and vocal warm-ups in line. To them, auditioning for The Real Word was like being in the running for a Martin Scorcese film.

But this wasn't a Martin Scorcese film. It wasn't even The Real Housewives of New York City. It was The Real World, a show well past its expiration date. Sure, it used to be cool. We all loved Miami, Seattle, New Orleans and maybe even Chicago. Once upon a time, the show could've even been thought of as progressive. HIV-positive Pedro Zamora from the San Francisco season, for example, put a face to the stigmatized disease of AIDS and did a world of good with his exposure -- even getting the recognition of then-president Bill Clinton. But somewhere along the way, the show forgot about stuff like AIDS and racism and became a lot more focused on hook-ups and booze-fueled rages. In 2010, this was what Real World had become: auditioning reality show pros with resumes and terrifying highlights.

The auditioning process reached its apex when a group of ten people were brought to a table with a casting director who would take roughly two minutes with each person, inquiring about their jobs, boyfriends, their hopes and dreams. Peoples' responses were frightening. In my group alone, there was a 22 year-old mother with a baby daddy locked up in jail because "he was a known member of The Latin Kings", a musician who claimed to be inspired by The Beatles but looked more like an ex-member of Crazytown, and a guy who had been wrongfully accused of cocaine possession which prompted the casting director to scrunch her nose up in confusion and reply, "Woah, wild!"

The casting director may have been the worst of them all. She was a super cheesy blonde girl from L.A. who was just smart enough to manipulate potential cast members but not smart enough to realize how disgusting her job actually was. At one point, she turned to a chubby blonde girl with acne and said ever so perceptively,  "I can just tell you're a party girl." To which the girl responded as if she was a following a script, " I'm a good girl but I definitely know how to be bad, too."

By the time it was my turn to talk, I was so disgusted by everyone and everything around me that I couldn't bring myself to speak with any level of articulateness. I gave one-word answers and when the casting director asked me why I wanted to be on the show, I realized that I would rather eat glass than share air-time with these people. But that's not what I told her of course. I said, "Because it'll be really weird and bizarre and hysterical." Which I suppose it would be but I guess I'm just not willing to find out what happens when 8 people live together in a house, stop being polite and start getting real.

Needless to say, I didn't get a callback.

 
When you graduate from college, you often do things that compromise your dignity. Some people become telemarketers. Some work at American Apparel. I audition for irrelevant reality shows like The Real...
When you graduate from college, you often do things that compromise your dignity. Some people become telemarketers. Some work at American Apparel. I audition for irrelevant reality shows like The Real...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Amber Berglund
Got Mashed Potato, ain't got no T-Bone
05:37 PM on 10/17/2010
It's a shame that The Real World went from dealing with serious issues, to really lay ground work for shows like Rock of Love and Charm School.
That show went from something you would watch to aspire to, to care about issues and work toward improving the world... to watching a train-wreck that improved your self esteem (because at least you weren't like THOSE people.)
So very sad. The slip from hopeful ideals to trash T.V.
02:28 PM on 10/17/2010
You are a sick person for even pretending you could ever be that Real. Obviously you don't live in the Real World in American Apparel like ME.
05:54 PM on 10/16/2010
Wow thank you. I thought I was sad. I did watch the first two series in Holland. They were really impressive in my opinion. I also remember a girl finishing her med school at stanford or something.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
0311SaltDog
11:38 AM on 10/16/2010
This is what bitterness sounds like when your rejected by rejects. Hopefully you'll turn around and do something that matters.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
way2sunny
09:03 AM on 10/16/2010
That sounded exactly like how I imagined it would be.
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Kimiko Austin-Rijs
American/European
08:38 AM on 10/16/2010
How does being a telemarker or working for American Apparel compromise ones dignity? Granted they are not job favorites but for many people they pay the bills; there is no shame in that.
02:26 PM on 10/17/2010
For one thing when you're a telemarker it's incredibly difficult to stay inside the lines!
06:13 PM on 10/18/2010
ZING!
01:54 PM on 10/15/2010
pretty sad, when being on reality shows is a "real" job. I'm sure they'll have a union soon. *sigh*
10:02 AM on 10/15/2010
So you didn't want to be on the show.....but still answered the questions and didn't get up and leave.......um....ok.
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
JScott
John Galt's last name is McGuffin-Smithee
03:10 AM on 10/15/2010
You mean the participants still have jobs now?

I remember at least a couple of em had fairly decent jobs on Real World LA one worked at an AIDS clinic and the other one was worked at the LA County Sherriff's Dept.

Yup Sumner and Bunim Murray this show has jumped the shark, so has Jersey Shore.
01:34 AM on 10/15/2010
how authentic in every way ha ha ha