I was nine years old when I wore my first niqab.
The entire fourth grade at my all-girls school in Saudi Arabia joined the older girls wearing the niqab to "protect" us from the prying eyes of the crowd of drivers that waited outside the gate at the end of a school day.
As the face cover or veil continues to stir controversy in parts of the U.S. and Europe, particularly in France, I couldn't help but recall my own experiences with the niqab.
Depending on which part of the Arab and Muslim world you are in, there are different designs and versions of the face veil.
In the UAE for example, it is common to see older generations of women wear the traditional burqa, pronounced "burga." It is one of the oldest items of dress in the Gulf region, and it is a mask that was traditionally worn by girls when they came of age. Quite different from the head-to-toe one-piece cover used in Afghanistan, also called a burqa, the Gulf burqa is a traditional, metallic-colored red or golden embroidered cloth used to cover part of the face.
In my case and that of most of my friends in Saudi Arabia, we would either let our black head scarfs fall over our face completely or use it to wrap around parts of our face, with just the eyes showing to help us see. I remember how we would often have to sit outside in the heat in our abayas, squeezing into the shaded areas on the school premises, waiting for the guard to call out our names at the end of the school day.
"Rym! Rym Ghazal, ya Ghazal!" the guard would yell into the loudspeaker, informing me that my driver had arrived to take me home.
I used to hate to pass by that crowd of men, who would sometimes point and lean in from behind the metal barrier, watching the girls go to their cars. If a driver leaned too far over, the guard would yell at him to back off and stop disrespecting the girls.
It didn't always work, and it remained an intimidating part of our school routine.
While, of course, women shouldn't be the ones to compromise and make changes around stupid, rude men, I have to admit that I felt much better hidden behind the niqab as I walked through the gate and to my car. Behind the tinted windows, I would simply take off the niqab, and off we would go home.
I used to wonder as a child how my driver knew it was me when I was surrounded by other covered pupils. When I asked him (he'd been with my family forever and was pretty much my second father), he felt comfortable enough to tell me: "You walk like a boy."
In my case, the niqab gave me a sense of anonymity that helped to strengthen my fragile confidence as a child walking amid an unfriendly group of strange men.
But as I grew older, I wouldn't allow men to disrespect me with their comments or behavior without a rebuke. I didn't need the niqab as long as I dressed modestly, and sometimes wore the abaya out of respect for the place, but that is just my personal experience.
Sometimes it is actually used against you. I know some people judge and criticize the women who cover their faces when they go out to certain places and don't want to be recognized by people there. I would hear things like "Oh, she is trying to hide her identity 'cause she is sitting with a man who is not her husband."
But if she didn't cover her face, then she would be at risk of shaming herself and her family.
There are so many pressures on women in conservative societies that they really have to be careful about their reputation and with whom they are seen and where. It is, of course, not the same standard for a man.
Generally people should be free to dress as they see fit, in the latest style or completely covered up. It is really no one else's business. But at the same time there should be some respect for the values of the place where they happen to be.
Dress code became a hot issue this year in the UAE, and I can't blame them, since sometimes I feel that what some women wear here they wouldn't even dare to wear back in their home countries.
Actually, I became offended on a recent trip to a mall in Dubai with my seven-year-old godson.
Two women "forgot" certain undergarments and showed us way too much skin when they leaned over, leaving the boy laughing and me embarrassed.
At the same time, I don't want to just pick on women. Some men need to close up those buttons, as well. If I wanted to see that much chest hair then I would go to a zoo, not to a bookstore.
But I know the minute any dress code is enforced we get into the area of personal rights and right and wrong. On the whole, family-orientated places like malls and conservative places where people worship should encourage more modest clothing just out of respect and, well, tradition.
I also like the idea of us wearing our traditional clothes more. They give us character and an identity.
But there is no need to be excessive. Some Muslim women in France started to wear the niqab in defiance when they previously didn't even wear an abaya. So it has become a case of confrontation, where both sides could spend their energies on far bigger problems like poverty or high unemployment, problems that are actually in need of a solution.
An Emirati woman, aged 83, said it best. She told me she wears her burqa to "beautify" herself.
"It hides all the wrinkles and helps accentuate the eyes," she said. "It is not an object of repression, but an accessory to our traditional clothes and beauty regime."
By banning the niqab and burqa we are not really helping anyone. A truly repressed woman has far bigger problems than what she wears on her face.
So while largely perceived from a Western perspective as a suppressive mask designed to conceal a woman's facial features, I have to admit the niqab was my shield. It helped me walk more confidently around sleazy men.
Now, I simply step on their toes with the heel of my shoe.
Rym Tina Ghazal is a senior feature writer and columnist for The National Newspaper.
Follow Rym Tina Ghazal on Twitter: www.twitter.com/@Arabianmau
This need for women to be covered up to avoid being hassled sounds like a problem with the males of the culture. Why should the women be forced to cover up in order to feel safe?
I guess non-Muslim men knows better than Muslim one... tho they are the one who say they "respect" women...
Reading for comprehension: It's a valuable skill.
Source: http://www.crisisaid.org/ICAPDF/Trafficking/traffickstats.pdf
We want to be judged by our ideal, and that isn't entirely accurate. While these numbers are older than I would like, in 2005 the Department of Justice reported there had been an estimated 100,000 to 150,000 sex slaves in the U.S. since 2001.
Source: http://www.crisisaid.org/ICAPDF/Trafficking/traffickstats.pdf
Does this excuse the abuses in other countries? Of course not. And the fact that we have problems of our own (that we are struggling to deal with) does not mean that we should pay no attention to the abuses of others.
But before we condemn whole societies for the abuses of some members of that society, we must remember that our society is not blameless. As we point our fingers at others, remember that in that gesture, three fingers are pointed back at ourselves.
"The entire fourth grade at my all-girls school in Saudi Arabia joined the older girls wearing the niqab to "protect" us from the prying eyes of the crowd of drivers that waited outside the gate at the end of a school day."
The above paragraph states that the author was "leered at and harassed in the FOURTH GRADE. If men were to act thusly in the society I'm familiar with they would be arrested, society would frown down on them and they would be labeled perverts and be "shunned" as "sexual deviants". It's not acceptable behavior. Clearly I'm asking questions I would like answers for. Rather than try to defend the actions of men you're familiar with and justify their behavior by equatiing "domestic violence" (Naqib or not) which happens in all societies among people in "relationships" can you explain why ALL women in some Muslim countries are "unsafe" and "abused" by random strange men to the point where ALL women in said societies HAVE to hide themselves? This is NOT acceptable behavior. To put it bluntly, if my mother, myself, my daughters were to be "publicly harassed and abused" the husbands, fathers, brothers of said women would "destroy" the harassers and probably do so before the police showed up. They wouldn't blame the women. I'm not talking about the women who "like" this type of "attention", there are some.
http://www.ncadv.org/files/DomesticViolenceFactSheet(National).
I would like to point out that banning the niqab and the burqa are often done because these identification-erasing garments often hide the fact of abuse from the public. In coming into Western countries, Arab men are often told they can no longer beat their women, and the women are told they do not have to let themselves be beaten. Men who beat their wives or daughters can be sent to jail.
The garments are also a kind of symbol of "ownership" by men. They separate women from interaction with society. In doing this they not only harm the women, but society in general.
Thank you for describing the process by which you were induced to accept this unnatural segregation. The men who lined up to gawk at the girls were there deliberately to intimidate, make you uncomfortable and instill in you a desire to hide. They do it with young girls who naturally feel powerless against larger and older men. That way you would gladly accept the garments of enslavement as protection, and the men could continue to feel superior.
I am unalterably opposed to these garments. This is not a matter of religious freedom, it is a matter of human rights and the dignity of the individual. That you can now tread on the feet of such boors instead of being frightened into hiding is encouraging.
But I wanted you to know why I want them banned.
The reason for the disagreement is this:
We allow the advocating of Nazism, communism and Islamism--all of which, if successful, would destroy the foundations of our secular liberal democratic culture that makes America different from Hitler's Germany, Soviet Russia and Islamist Saudi Arabia.
Veiling is an aspect of Islamist culture--using the threat of force to control women. When a woman does it voluntarily, she is validating that Islamist culture and we should take that as a poLitical, rather than a religious statement.
I appreciate your position. But it is not like we allow public demonstrations of slavery -- unless of course we include prostitution. That often starts "voluntarily" but escalates into actual slavery.
Just keep it away from the West.
Were we discussing those societies, such as Afghanistan where women are pressured to wear the niqab, I would agree that such requirements are oppressive. But we aren't.
In our rather sex-obsessed society, women are often treated as objects. They sell us products while dressed in very little. Oddly enough, some women don't want to be objectified.
When we're at our best, women in "the West" are free to dress as they see fit. If they wish to openly celebrate their sexuality, they have that right. If, however, they choose to be more modest, reserving that sexuality for those that they feel most intimate with and trusting of, they have that right too.
That is our "western" tradition, and I approve.
Ever heard of pants, and long sleeve blouses? Or is that too unbecoming for a woman?
On one side the simple head-covering in Iran, which in most cases do not cover even the hair, is shown as barbaric.
http://shahrzaad.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/hijab2.jpg?w=385&h=296
On the other hand articles defending full black burqa coverage from tip to toe in 110+ degree heat of Saudi Arabia is represented as essential for women's protection and security.
http://hodja.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/saudi-women-cross-a-street-in-hofuf-city.jpg
Hypocrisy shown in the pictures above are amazing.
We are essentially dealing with the same issue, but because Iran is a target of military aggression it is painted as backward, while a lipstick is put on the much stricter regulation in Saudi Arabia becasue Saudi sells us cheap oil and buys our weapons.