iConfess: Pushing Over A Disabled Man Just For Fun

Once when I was a boy, I pushed over a gentle disabled man just to humiliate him.

It happened inside a crowded supermarket, and there were people everywhere.

Humiliate him I certainly did--he went down like a sack of potatoes.

To enter this particular store, customers were forced to walk through a short metallic turnstile. I'd already gone through, and I saw that the man (who wore a leg brace and walked with canes) was having a bit of difficulty navigating his way through.

Well, I was in an extremely rotten mood, so instead of help him I decided to go over and spin his turnstile as hard as I could, giving it enough momentum to knock his canes out from under him and send him collapsing to the ground.

This all happened in front of a large group of strangers, which is exactly what I was trying to accomplish.

The man, I assume, was mortified, but I'll never know for sure because he didn't once show his embarrassment. He didn't blush. He didn't scream. He didn't swear at me, or call for help, or ask to file a police report. He didn't cry, he didn't grab and punch me, and he certainly didn't lie down and give up.

Instead, he stuck his hands out in front of him, managed to pick himself up off the cold and dirty supermarket floor, locked his leg brace back into place, and made a second attempt at going through his turnstile.

I didn't say anything. I just watched, probably with a disgusting little smirk on my face.

When he finally got through his turnstile, he just looked at me and said: "You really shouldn't have done that, and I hope you never do it again."

Talk about nonviolence. Talk about forgiveness. Talk about being a Man.

Now, what I'm about to tell you might truly shock you: When I was finished shopping the man paid for all my groceries. And then he offered to give me a lift home.

I thought about it for a minute, and then accepted his offer. Not a word was spoken during that long and awkward drive to my house and, although I can't recall for certain, it wouldn't surprise me if I forgot to thank him for the ride before getting out of his car.

I turned 14 later that year. I was a wretched little misanthrope of a teenager. What a complete moron I was that day. I was pissed off at the world, and going through the tumult and fog that is puberty, so I decided to test social boundaries and be outrageously cruel.

Dad, I'd like to take this opportunity to say how VERY sorry I am for assaulting you that day. I truly don't know what I was thinking when I knocked you onto that cold supermarket floor. Please, please forgive me.

And thank you, more than you know, for having the courage and restraint to lead by example that day. You were such an extraordinary teacher in that grocery store.

There's an ancient Jewish proverb that says "When you teach your son, you teach your son's son." Dad: by being brave that day, well, who knows? -- a great teacher can even affect eternity.

It took me all these years to say so, but I want you to know that I was unbelievably proud of you that day. Also, I was unbelievably disappointed in me.

In that single afternoon, you taught me critical life lessons about unequivocal love, and parenting, and pacifism -- lessons that are still with me after all these years.

One day, when I was still a child, I pushed a man down just to humiliate him.

That man was my father.

And he stunned me by loving me in return.