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Safiya Jafari Simmons Headshot

On Keeping the Faith

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I'm not sure if it was between my first and second child, or my second and third, that I literally thanked God for Jesus.

Sure, I'd heard church mothers say it before, but somewhere along my journey of parenthood I realized that without faith I'd most certainly lose my mind.

Before our first child arrived, my husband and I sat down at our kitchen table with pen and paper to plan our family.

We would have four children (because I like even numbers).

We wouldn't speak to our children in "baby talk." Instead, we'd speak to them like little people. Accordingly, we'd also empower them to disagree with us -- respectfully! -- and express that disagreement in the spirit of raising confident little people.

We wouldn't teach about Santa Claus, choosing instead to teach only the story of Christ's birth as the reason for the season.

And, before we broke our huddle, we agreed that we'd have our children back-to-back, because only then, we deduced (with all of the wisdom that two 24-year-olds could muster), would we have any shot at having a life together after the kids were out of the house.

And that was that.

But, when our first child was delivered by emergency C-section, my husband and I quickly realized the true meaning behind that trite saying, "If you want to make God laugh, make plans."

Despite all of our best-laid plans, my husband and I have come to the realization that the only way we are still "clothed and in our right minds" is because of our faith.

It's faith that keeps us from releasing blood-curdling screams when our son trips down the stairs or falls off the bed.

It's faith that opened my tightly clasped hands the first time we saw our little ones off to preschool.

And it's faith that helps me hold my peace during the never-ending chorus of "MaMa" that has become white noise in our home.

Truly, if it weren't for my belief in a higher purpose, I'd question who thought it a good idea to allow me to parent at all.

After all, we are our worst critics. For every mistake, bad choice and misstep I've made in my life, I nary think I'm worthy of the air I'm breathing. But God...

I've done things I'm not proud of. I've said things I'm not proud of. I've gone all-in on bad bets and taken risks I should have avoided. But God.

Even now, I raise my voice at my children more than I'd like. I'm not always patient. Sometimes I wish I could close my bathroom door without seeing little fingers wiggle beneath its jamb. And there have been times when the most I could find the energy to offer my family for dinner is microwaveable pancakes or oatmeal.

But God.

Or, is it because of God?

Because of God I know that all things work together for my good. Because of God I know that there is no weapon (nor tantrum, fussy baby or explosive diaper) formed against me that will prosper. And, most importantly, because of God I know that His grace is sufficient to get me through any and everything I will face daily.

Parenting is tough. Being married is tough. Running a household -- whether solo or with a partner -- is hard work. But I believe that I was created to do exactly what I'm doing right now. And so were you.

There is no one alive who could love your partner the way you do; care for your kids the way you do; kick butt in the office the way you do; or walk in your shoes. Period.

The same God that blessed you and I with the spouse, the kids, the home and the careers knows what it takes to keep everyone of those balls in the air. He knows our limits and He knows our every shortcoming.

And in spite of all of this, He keeps blessing us, pouring out His favor and grace and mercy on us every day.

This is why we keep at it. This is why we don't throw in the towel. Because at the end of the day, we know in our hearts that we were built for this. We know that God made us specifically to overcome every obstacle that comes our way.

And He made us to win.

It's not going to be easy. It almost never is. But, just in case no one has told you today, you are a freakin' rock star. You are kickin' butts and taking names as a parent, a professional, a friend, a servant and in whatever else you're doing.

And thanks to God, you're doing it all and making it look like a piece of cake.

So, parents-, spouses- and professionals-in-arms, hold on to your faith. If nothing else, it's keeping you sane, keeping you motivated, and helping you keep it moving.