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The Dark Side Of Cheating

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Can you imagine being hired by a family as a travel agent, being privy to personal details about them, deciding in the process, that, regardless if it is unethical, you would pursue the husband? You are in your mid-forties, divorced, no children, you know what it is to struggle and being ruthless feels natural so you move in on the husband ever so cleverly, bit by bit (phone calls going back and forth, emails, hey, how about meeting?), it is a game, meanwhile, acting so "nice" to the wife as you infiltrate the sacred zone of family. You see nothing wrong with what you are doing. As a matter of fact, you convince yourself there is nothing wrong with what you are doing. Unprofessional? You tell yourself, no, even though you were let go from a prior job for inappropriate behavior, this time it is different, and besides the husband is responding and I am getting away with it so far.

Or can you imagine being hired by a family to be a nanny, being trusted to protect and care for children and become part of a family. You are in the best suburb of New York and the lifestyle is really comfortable. You could get used to it comfortable. You weren't planning on it but you feel so comfortable with the husband, too. You tell yourself, "he's been married long enough to this wife," now you decide it's your turn and you want this picture. So bit by bit you just allow "things to happen" between you and the husband.

Or can you imagine working in an office where so many of the young executives are married with their cute wives at home taking care of the children and you have a longing to have a handsome executive for yourself. So you pick one out and decide this is the one. You test the waters casually, with a pal around with co-worker seduction and lo and behold your attention to this man is getting a greenlight response from him and your dream is beginning to take shape. He couldn't be happy with his beautiful wife as you feel chemistry with him and convince yourself that "he will be happier with me." Afterall, you are both discovering what love is. The wife and three children will get over it.

It is right about now I am wondering about the men in these relationships...

Anyway, last example, can you imagine being married with kids and living down the street from your close friends who you spend a lot of time with together as couples, and as families. Then who knows why, boredom maybe, or some need of validation, or because you think you are falling in love with your friend's husband, you give in to your attraction and engage in the plotting to get him and lure him sexually for kama sutra in the woods and leave Karma in the dust.

I don't understand how those women can live with themselves. I guess because I can't imagine operating like that and feeling good about myself. Warning alarms would go off for me. The Golden Rule would overwhelm my desire and ward me off. Buddhist Noble Truths would scroll by. Thunder and lightning would crash down. KARMA would sound off with echoes. It's not that I don't understand the urge. It's the choice to engage in those realms that spell: DARK.

Is this love, or faux love, and you'll make believe it's real, for now, even though there is something phony about it. Were those husbands prime targets because of their ages, years in a marriage, limitations? Were their needs not met and the switch in their brains went off saying screw principles, commitment, values, who needs them? They want their youth back and the new mantra begins: Life is short. Oh wait. I mean Life is Longer because people live longer so therefore long term marriages are a thing of the past. How can anyone be expected to stay with the same person nowadays, divorce is modern and the kids will get over it..

It seems we are in the EAT, PRAY, LOVE generation, who need "more" now, are decidedly shallow, quick-paced thrill seeking travellers, who do downward dog and tantric doggy style, and spend money, fly business class and stay in hip hotels, and in spite of all the meditation and yoga (they don't actually go to the trouble of practicing the principles) and climbing mountain peaks, they constantly need more peak experiences. They can't be still, real or present. Brothers and sisters, it's time to grow UP, again. We are the parents now...

How I crave true people, the ones who can bear with themselves and therefore others and who want to love, sincerely. Bring me someone with depth, someone who can grow old gracefully and let me grow old gracefully, who is patient with life, who knows life has ups and downs and we all go through waves and changes and that Love is as neverending as the sky and can handle all life throws at us. Bring me someone who is kind, values commitment and sees how marriage is not only sexy but far more interesting to adventure in then ego-stroking compromises to the soul that cheapen the sacred bonds between a husband and wife, and family, and rob the gift to children of being able to flourish in and experience the luxury of a whole family. Bring me someone who does the right and honorable thing even behind closed doors, especially behind closed doors, because they are made of something and aren't weak, and have values and principles. I am so tired of hearing about divorce and affairs and cheating and all these cheap and common ways to be. Bring the people with vision and security within themselves with strong foundations that hold up under duress, no matter what. People that stay the course, that see beyond their noses, that are graceful and kind, honest, and are present for the challenge of being human, who want to show their children who they are and how to be in this world. Life is too short to be shallow. Bring me someone with depth, with the power to be kind enough to really love someone, whose word counts all the days of their life. Now that is sexy. Just imagine that.