Friendship is tough. After the Ten Commandments, there are no official rules. Which is why you may need this list.
- Every year make two new friends who are at least 10 years younger.
- But also befriend oldsters. Wisdom, ya know?
- Stifle the micromanagement. Sometimes a friend likes to pick her own entree or china pattern.
- If X and Y don't get along, refrain from relentless invocation of X's glory to Y.
- Always have one friend who is a reliable dork. Over time, common sense trumps fashion sense.
- Nevertheless, you still need a friend who will explain what jeggings are and tell you, yes, they make your butt look big.
- Plus one dynamo-friend, to inspire you to get off said butt.
- Repeat this trope: when you call or see a friend (and by call or see I mean call or see, not give an electronic shout-out) you will not talk only about yourself. By yourself I mean your Goldendoodle, significant others and "Mad Men" cameo.
- You get three weeks to gloat about your kid getting into Harvard. One day to wear crimson.
- You get three months to ruminate out loud about your breakup or firing. After that, write a memoir.
- If your friend publishes a book, buy it. And read it. In my case that means please preorder a copy of "With Friends like These" or look for it in your local bookstore starting August 10.
- As my son's nursery school teacher said, "learning to share is a lifelong task." Please add your friendship wisdom in Comments. Thanks.
Publishers Weekly: "achingly real"...."wit and wisdom." (More reviews on www.sallykoslow.com.) I promise it will make you think about friendship in every tense: present, future, past perfect and past imperfect.