Rush Limbaugh has lost a lot of advertisers as a result of calling a young female law student a slut and a prostitute. However, I have some ideas for filling the gap of lost revenue with these patrons:

Acme Gravediggers: We're the last people to let you down.

Placebo Birth...

At the GOP Presidential debate last Thursday, CNN host John King asked Newt Gingrich about his second wife's assertion that Gingrich asked for an open marriage so he could have sex with an employee (now his third wife).

Gingrich was very upset at the question, he said that it was...

Dear Keith:

I watch your show every weeknight. Even though you never have anybody from right of center, I watch your show. Even though your "Worst Persons in the World" sometimes includes petty criminals, I watch your show. You bring people into the public forum who normally have no chance...

The induction of Michelle Bachmann into Mensa.

The farewell party for Dick Armey as he moves to Appalachia to devote his life to the welfare of the poor.

The fund raiser for Planned Parenthood hosted by Rick Santorum.

The debut party for Rush Limbaugh's new book, "Ten Steps to Marital...

That none of the Fox News people who tell you that Wall Street protestors smell bad have been down there for even a minute?

That Herman Cain, who said if you lost your job it's your fault, has never spoken to a person whose job was outsourced?

That Monica Crowley,...

1) Rick Perry's Guide to Elocution

2) Winning! by Newt Gingrich

3) Alabama -- America's Melting Pot

4) Pre-teen Cancer -- Fact or Myth? by Michele Bachmann

5) Thanks for Everything, Now Get Out, Francona, by Red Sox Nation

6) Liberals Suck, Volume X, by Ann Coulter

That you not be fooled into thinking that being liberal means you have no respect for our men and women in the armed forces. That is a lie perpetrated by people who have a monetary agenda and have never served a second of military duty.

That you remember that George...

1) The investigative team he sent to Hawaii to investigate President Obama's birthplace consisted of Omarosa and two interns from TMZ.

2) If China improved his air rights, Trump would stop campaigning tomorrow, except for a golf course in Shanghai..

3) Had to be convinced that Orthodox Jew didn't mean...

(1) If you are attending the Super Bowl and don't have a rooting interest, you have to get a hobby. For that amount of dough, you could put your own team together.

(2) Caring about which commercial is the best is like caring about which movie made the most money...

1) In America, Christmas lights go up before Thanksgiving, so if any holiday gets screwed, it's Turkey Day.

2) Too much money is made sweeping pine needles out of apartment house lobbies.

3) Jesus Christ wasn't really born on December 25th. It IS the birthday, however, of my super, Jesus...

Luke Scott is a ballplayer for the Baltimore Orioles. He has never hit for great average or a lot of home runs. I had never heard of him before this week, since he is a mediocre ballplayer on a lousy team.

Now I also know he is an ignorant man...

The other day Roger Ailes, the big man at Fox News, took off on NPR and Jon Stewart, host of The Daily Show. He said that the folks who run NPR were leftist nazis, and criticized Stewart for hating conservatives.

Okay, let's start with the 'nazi' smear. Calling someone a...

There is a rationale among some of the fundamentalist Christians. Whenever they are called out for slanderous language or a mean spirited attitude, the next phrase that comes out of their mouth is something like "I am not perfect, I strive everyday to be a better man, I cry out...

Dina Lohan did not know how many times her daughter Lindsay had been to rehab (4) because:
a)She was busy at work.
b)She was preoccupied with her other child.
c)She thought Matt Lauer was a bartender and instinctively responded "make it two."

Newt Gingrich praised China's tax...

1) I would disallow "Don't Ask Don't Tell" immediately. The homophobes who hate you aren't going to like you regardless. Just do what you promised and end this bigotry and stop treating patriotic gay Americans like second class citizens.

2) Pull Fox News' press seat. Do it not because they...

Having a child without being married is no big deal to me. A lot of people have kids without walking down the aisle. Some decide to marry later, some not at all. If it was my daughter, I would attend the wedding and wish the parents of my grandchild the...

Dan Gilbert is really steamed. His employee, Ohio native and basketball superstar Lebron James left the team without notification to play in Miami in hopes of winning a championship sooner than he thought he could with the Cleveland Cavaliers. Gilbert fired off a letter to the people of Cleveland accusing...

1) Right Wing Pundits: Obama could find a cure for cancer and Karl Rove would say that he didn't find it fast enough, Monica Crowley would say he didn't cure EVERY cancer, and Dick Morris would predict that he didn't really cure cancer, and that it is Hillary Clinton's fault...

I am really amused by the people who are slamming CNN for hiring Eliot Spitzer to co-host a program: "Why this man has been with whores!" "He cheated on his wife!" "He was hard to work with!" "How can they dare give this guy a second chance?"

I try not...

Ari Fleischer said Helen Thomas should be fired because of her scurrilous comments about Israel. The same Fleischer who stood by while John Ashcroft held Bible meetings on government property. The same Fleischer whose boss said his favorite political philosopher was Jesus. The same Fleischer whose boss sucked up to...