12/24/2008 06:19 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Twelve Thoughts of Christmas

1)If Rick Warren wants to show that he loves gay people,how about condemning homophobic crackpot Fred Phelps,the vile pustule who pickets military funerals because gays can serve in the armed forces? Slam that walking mucous bowl Reverend Rick, and maybe you won't have to explain why you compared gay marriage to pedophilia.

2)Did anyone stop to put up a "It's About Time" sign at Walter Reed when Bush came to visit the troops three weeks before he moves to Dallas?

3)If someone wouldn't disclose their criminal and financial records until they get a senate seat,would we do anything but show them the door if they weren't Caroline Kennedy?

4)If Obama decriminalizes pot, the jails in Texas will be empty, lives won't be ruined,and there will be room for Alberto Gonzales to serve HIS sentence.

5)If Wal Mart is settling 63 lawsuits over wages, you know a Democrat is coming to the White House.

6)Cokie Roberts referring to Hawaii as "foreign, exotic", is not inane, it is subtly bigoted and overtly asinine.

7)Going green does not mean wiping the windshield of your Humvee with a reusable

8)Some presidents use their time after serving to help those in need. Bush will spend his picking out paint for his in house gym. Why? Because,for the four hundredth time, he doesn't care about you.

9)We are going to have an African American president. Can we NOW drop the name "Redskins" from the NFL team in Washington?

10)Angelina Jolie did not make a top ten sexiest women list because she is weird. Yeah, I agree,being weird must mean she isn't hot. PS, whoever did this list should be disqualified from looking at women.

11)Bob Grant was bounced from WABC Talk Radio. Surely there is a haven for this mean spirited racist somewhere.

12)May this holiday season find you and yours healthy, happy,and employed.