Recently, at the behest of the gun lobby, a number of states have enacted laws allowing weapons to be taken into establishments that serve alcohol. Now, I do not know the arguments that were made to rationalize this idiocy, a moderately intelligent first grader can tell you why this is dumb, I can only state that as one who grew up with guns, and has hunted every huntable creature in the south, the only time I've ever pulled the trigger on something that I wasn't aiming at was while I was under the influence of hard liquor.
What follows is a perfect illustration of just how effective alcohol can be at compartmentalizing the various components of ones supposed IQ.
Some months ago an old girlfriend came by for a visit. She was having a bit of a tough time. Her new role as a "single parent" was much more burdensome than she'd ever anticipated; her work had become less satisfying, and she felt she was not controlling her life with the skill she'd always enjoyed.
She was also fearful of living alone with her young son in a semi-rural area, and wanted my advice on handguns. I had already loaned her my dad's old 12 gauge Winchester automatic, but she felt she needed something smaller and easier to access.
I spent the next ten or fifteen minutes explaining how the shotgun was the perfect weapon for someone not adept with weaponry, that it's really noisy and at close range it'll hit what it's pointed at, and with five rounds of #4 shot in the plugless chamber, she could hold off an entire herd of even the most aggressive intruders.
It was at this point that she asked me if I had any tequila. (In the movies they call this a "plot point", something that takes the story in a different direction).
An hour later the bottle was half empty, and I'd used much of that time to relate how I'd spent the final months of my stateside military service, instructing army wives on the usage of the .45 caliber semi-automatic handgun. And if she was intent on acquiring a small weapon for the home, this was it. Then she asked if I had one.
I did.
The old WW2 issue Remington .45 was still in it's original shoulder holster, with 1943 stamped on it, and was wrapped in a towel and crammed way into the back of a cedar armoire. I removed the weapon gingerly, the leather was getting a bit dry, popped out the full clip and cleared the chamber, leaving the slide back.
I retook my position next to my friend who was sitting at a large work desk just off the kitchen. While I was gone she'd refilled the shot glasses with more tequila. Good, that four step trip to the armoire and back had left me with a helluva thirst.
For the next thirty minutes or so I regaled her with grand stories about the history of the piece, and even grander ones about my mastery of it. How it's triple no-fire safety features made it almost impossible to discharge accidentally, of it's prodigious knock-down power, and the NOISE that it makes ... I even field stripped it, put it back together, and then handed it to her so she could tactiley sense the weight and perfect balance of this classic handgun.
We downed the last two shots left in the bottle of tequila. She fondled the .45 for a bit and then handed it back to me, slide back, chamber cleared, just like it was when I'd handed it to her.
I took it, wrapping my fingers around it in all the proper places, and with it pointing safely away from either of us, I eased the full magazine up into the grip. I heard the clip click. But the next sound ... well, it was unexpected.
KAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!
When the slide slid forward it shoved a round into the chamber, and the tequila in my brain forgot to remind me that I had my finger on the trigger. That's what had caused the big Kaboom.
I just sat there looking at the weapon, like the idiot I was. After a few seconds I looked up at her. She had her hands over her ears, her mouth open and was staring somewhat ape-eyed at me. I saw her lips move, but she spoke in such a low whisper I could barely hear her, but since my ears were still ringing from the blast, she could've been shouting. "Did you mean to do that?"
In past times when I've done something really stupid in front of another I've usually just let loose with a paragraph or two of B.S. to explain that I had every intention of doing what I had just done. But this was one of those times when my PhD. in bull was useless; all genius has its limits. And I took no comfort in this revelation.
"Uh Uhh," was all I could get out, even my fondness for obfuscatory polysyllables during these moments had been neutralized by the big Kaboom.
I eased my thumb in front of the hammer and slowly let it return to the no fire position. Then I turned my head toward the kitchen to survey the damage.
My refrigerator. I had shot my damn refrigerator.
I opened the door and something deep red ran out onto the tile in quick rivulets. Jeez, I thought, I musta hit an artery. I had. Ocean Spray Cranberry, the Aorta sized bottle.
I quickly put a tourniquet on the Juice container, toweled up the floor and put the old .45 back where it belonged ... in it's holster, wrapped in a towel and crammed into the deep recess of the cedar armoire. I slid the empty tequila bottle in beside it. Such a wedding of two dangers, one was not likely to forget, but I was taking no chances.
I then retook my seat across from the eyewitness to the Ocean Spray slaying. She was looking up at the ceiling and around the room, working her jaw muscles trying to get her ears to equalize so we could communicate again. After a couple of deep breaths she dropped her gaze on me.
"I appreciate that lesson Sam, but you know since I'm not an expert like you, I think I'll just stick with the shotgun."
I found the shell casing the next day and stuck it in the hole in the door of the refrigerator. I'd had an emotionally painful experience called a "comeuppance." And painful or not, they are always great equalizers. I just can't wait to have another one.
And if you know of a lawmaker who's considering a vote somewhere on the issue of guns in bars, please send this along. Maybe my story will un-compartmentalize his IQ. Most good old boys toting heat in bars haven't had my training, and are unlikely to be able to shoot through a crowd and hit only a refrigerator full of Ocean Spray.
Follow Sam Isaac Edwards on Twitter: www.twitter.com/samstreehouse
As regards the whole "but the law says those who carry can't drink" - right, pull the other one, it's got bells on.
If you go to most any shooting range, the participants will be imbibing.
In fact, some gun ranges have bars on the premises.
Filing down a gun's firing pin makes it fully auto.
Chicago's population is higher than it was in 1980 when it's over 100K less.
Chicago has a population of 9.7 million
There are over 300 deaths in the US by meteorite strikes each year.
Chicago and LA account for over 125% of the gang murders in the US each year. (no, not a typo)
Any questions?
This is false.
I've been to many ranges, but never to a single range where there was alcohol being served or consumed.
Not to mention being a fan of theatrical musicals .
1. Allowing concealed weapons in establishments that derive more than 50% of their revenue from the sale of alcohol for consumption on the premises. That is to say "bars".
2. Allowing concealed weapons in establishments that derive less than 50% of their revenue from the sale of alcohol for consumption on the premises. That is to say "restaurants".
States that allow one or both of the above generally require that the CCW holder abstain from drinking alcohol in either case.
As far as case "2" of the above, all it really means is that I can legally carry concealed in Applebee's, Outback Steakhouse, Red Lobster or any other family restaurant with a license to sell beer & wine or hard liquor on the premises, provided, of course, that I do not partake myself. Sounds reasonable to me.
I disagree with your conclusion regarding CCW in bars, but your story might prevent someone else from thinking they can handle a gun safely while intoxicated.
Not really. Seems as though you're purposely trying to convolute the issue. Your little episode has nothing to do with the guns in bars legislation. Rather, it only strengthens the argument for a gun owner's obligation to following the 4 rules. Not to mention that being a responsible gun owner means not handling one under the influnce of anything. Even when the temptation to "impress a lady" is overpowering.
Despite the legislation, drinking while carrying is still illegal.
Not everyone in bars drinks. The mere presence of a person in a bar does not necessarily mean they are drinking alcohol. I rarely drink, but I do frequent a bar -- they happen to make an out of this world bacon, blue cheese, and onion ring burger that I have to limit myself to only a couple a month, though their other food offerings are quite good as well.
nope, not trying to twist the issue, and am not addressing "responsible" gun owners here. the point was that i've owned and used guns all my life, and i've always adhered to the stipulated obligations...we weren't even allowed to point a TOY gun at folk when i was growing up. so it's not the good guy packing heat in a bar that concerns me. it's the good guy who for whatever reason, sucks up more juice than he intends to, his judgment bails on him, and something more than a fridge gets hurt...
thanks for the comment
s.e.
Obviously not the one about not touching firearms if you have been drinking.
" it's the good guy who for whatever reason, sucks up more juice than he intends to, his judgment bails on him, and something more than a fridge gets hurt..."
The "good guy" is not allowed to drink in a restaurant or bar if he has a firearm. Doing so makes him a "not good guy" or as we cops call them, a "criminal".
Thanks for the interaction. It's frustrating trying to engage in "honest debate" around here with the other "hit-and-run" bloggers only interested in stirring up as much emotionalism as they can (ie, Helmke, Sugarmann, Henigan, etc...)
The problem we "gunnies" have with your position is that it is mostly based on hypothetical situations instead of reality. In the early 90's, with the aggressive reform of CCW laws, we heard from the anti-gun camp that if "gun-toters" were allowed to carry their "death machines" whenever, wherever they wanted to, that we would see "Blood In The Streets!" and "Wild West Shootouts!" where The Children (yes, even the 24 year old gangbangers the Brady Campaign counted as "the children") would die in historic proportions. Guess what, it never happened.
We hear about how more guns=more crime, yet can't get a straight answer from the anti-camp as to why or how Chicago had 500+ murders last year with a gun ban in the city. Or why D.C, with a gun ban since the 70's, was the murder capital of the country for how many years (Ironically, a year and 1/2 removed from DC vs Heller, DC's crime rate finally dropped).
Now, guns in bars. The opposition argument is once again based on hypothetical situations. I'm sorry, but it's not good enough reason to infringe upon a COTUS right.
The issue came about when some people with valid concealed carry permits wanted to take their concealed carry firearms into restaurants. Some states did not differentiate between a restaurant which happened to serve alcohol (like say a nice or even fancy restaurant which happened to have a wine and beer selection) and a bar, if they served alcohol in any way shape or form, it was illegal. Other states did differentiate. In a couple court cases, the judges ruled that trying to differentiate between a restaurant which served alcohol and a bar that served food was too vague and through out exemptions for restaurants. These rulings met with backlash from the voters who ssaid "fine, be that way, we are removing the ban, end of vague differentiations" (this is what hapopened in AZ and TN).
The result: over 30 states allow concealed carry (with a valid permit) in establishments which serve alcohol. This varies from restaurants in some states to bars in others. However, it is pretty universal in all such states that a person with a firearm is not allowed to consume any alcohol.
Do some basic research or you'll end up looking more foolish than when you shot your fridg
thanks for the comment.
s.e.
Anyway, the notion that someone who carries a gun can't resist drinking is absurd. That's like saying someone who has car keys in their pocket can't resist getting drunk when they know they need to drive home, so we should ban cars in bar parking lots. Besides, if someone is going to ignore the laws against drinking while carrying a gun, what makes you think they would care about the laws against bringing a gun into a bar?
Clearly, allowing CCW in bars isn't going to be a problem for those who follow the law, nor will it change anything for those who are already willing to break it. It's hard to see what the current CCW ban in bars is accomplishing.
If the person carrying a firearm is not drinking, then the point of your story is moot - the people in these establishments will not be downing half a bottle of tequila as you and your friend did. If they do drink they are breaking the law, and if they are willing to break that law why would a law prohibiting carrying a concealed firearm into a bar stop that person in the first place?