Do the following statements refer to (a) my White Anglo-Saxon Protestant girlfriend or (b) a cat?
- Her hair is a flaxen yellow and smells of lavender, but makes me sneeze.
- She won't eat salmon out of a can because it's "beneath her."
- We live together, but sometimes our relationship seems so distant that I wonder if she cares whether I live or die.
- She doesn't wear jeans.
- Sometimes I have to give her animal tranquilizers when she gets upset.
- I had to learn the hard way that her nails are EXTREMELY sharp.
- When she looks me directly in the eye it is an experience so darkly chilling that it shakes my soul.
- I didn't mention I was Jewish the first time I met her.
- She has a terrible relationship with her family, but we never talk about it. Honestly, we just never talk in general.
- A rich old lady is going to leave her everything in her will.
- Someday I want her to have 8-12 children, but we'll give some of them away.
- One time she left a dead mouse in our bed, and I didn't know what to say or do.
- Another time I caught her having sex with a stranger in the alley behind our apartment. We've never spoken about it.
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