THE BLOG

Gosh, You're Attractive

02/08/2014 11:33 pm ET | Updated Apr 10, 2014

It's true.

Sometimes it may feel like how good-looking a person is (or isn't) is the only thing that ever mattered in the world. But guess what? It's not your features that make you attractive. Nope, it's not your body, either.

Your physical appearance has almost nothing to do with how attractive you are. Soak that in for a minute. I think this is important, so I'm going to say it again:

Your physical appearance has almost nothing to do with how attractive you are.

To be "attractive" means that one has the ability to attract; it means one is magnetic in some way. So what is it that attracts others to you? Your raunchy good humor? Your bone-dry wit? Your screaming-mimi adventurous spirit? Your quiet but trenchant observations? Your delicacy? Your willingness to speak the truth no matter what? Your earnest inability to discern when someone is teasing you? Your Labrador-like friendliness?

Extra Points for Good Grooming

Now, it is certainly true that a beautiful painting looks better in a beautiful frame, and so taking some time with your appearance and attire will definitely help people notice how attractive you are. Plus, good grooming and good clothes speak to a certain amount of self-respect and self-esteem, which is also very attractive in a person.

So whatever it is about your physical appearance that you're not feeling very fond of right now, see if you can't let it go. Shift your focus to the qualities that shine through you -- the unique behaviors, sensibilities and attitudes that make you so special, and yes -- so very, very attractive.