Since I am a professional matchmaker, single people are always telling me that they really want to get married. It is then my job to figure out if they really want marriage or if they are just saying that. When a person really wants to get married, they behave a certain way and think about things properly. They don't make excuses for why they are single; they take a proactive stand and go after what they want.
Here are 11 excuses that are keeping you single. As you read them, you should be thinking to yourself, "Is this me?" If this is indeed you, you need to think about what you can do to change your behavior so you can finally get out there and meet your spouse.
1. I am too busy at work right now. How busy are you really? We are all busy, but you need to make the time for things that are most important to you. Meeting your life partner should top your list.
2. I need to lose weight, but I don't have the time. How much time does it take to lose weight? For starters, try eating less and exercising one hour a day. That's not so much time, and exercising will make you feel more productive overall. In effect, you will actually give yourself extra time in your day.
3. I don't know anyone single of the opposite sex, so it's not my fault I am not dating. This is impossible. Of course you know single people of the opposite sex, but you might not realize it. Start asking! And start noticing if they wear a wedding band. If they don't, it's okay to assume they are available, and even if you discover that they are not, so what? Then, you just initiated a conversation with a new person who might know someone for you.
4. I am too high profile to online date. A-list celebrities have gone online to date. Are you telling me that you are more "high profile" than they are? Please... everyone is doing it, and it's completely acceptable, especially the newer private dating communities like The Dating Lounge on Facebook. Just do it!
5. All the men in my town are commitment-phobic, so what's the point? This is the biggest bunch of bull. You are only saying this because YOU are the one who is commitment-phobic. Everyone is a little weary of commitment... that is, until they meet the One. Give those men in your town a chance!
6. I can't get hurt again, I would rather stay single. Life is full of ups and downs. Yes, breakups hurt. But, if you don't get out there again, you will just remain alone forever. And I know that this is NOT what you truly want. It is time to open yourself up to meeting someone again. You need to have the hope that the next one will be the One that goes the distance, instead of hurting you.
7. I have a really nice life right now, so why do I need someone else in it to complicate things? I am sure your life is wonderful, but wouldn't it be infinitely better with someone else in it?
8. All my married friends are unhappy, so why would I want to do that to myself? First of all, all your married friends are not unhappy. They may face some challenges with their marriage at some point, but trust me -- they are still happy to have each other. Regardless of your friends' relationships though, you are in charge of your relationship. You can control how happy you will be with be with your spouse.
9. I am not ready to move on from my ex. If this is the case, you need to quickly figure out how to recover from that relationship so you can finally move on. Do you really think your crappy ex deserves these days, hours and minutes you are wasting mourning that relationship?
10. No one I like ever likes me back. If this is the case, you need to ask yourself the question as to why not? Why does no one like you back? From there, you can then decide what changes you need to make to alter this bad pattern.
11. I like being single. Do you really?
Samantha Daniels is a well-known professional matchmaker and relationship expert. She is the President of Samantha's Table Matchmaking, a bicoastal matchmaking service which caters exclusively to busy, successful professionals who have no trouble getting dates, but who have yet to find that one person with whom to spend the rest of their lives. She is also the author of "Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker" (Simon & Schuster). She is a frequently relied upon dating, relationship and romance expert, and is seen regularly on television, on the radio and in national newspapers and magazines. You can follow her on Twitter @Matchmakersd. You can also follow her on her Curator page on OpenSky, where you can get advice and picks for shopping from Celebrities. For more information, go to www.SamanthaDaniels.info.
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