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Samantha Daniels

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Is the Man You Are Dating Being Honest?

Posted: 01/25/11 08:18 PM ET

Have you ever wondered whether the person you are dating is really "for real"? Does he seem too perfect or say too many of the right things so frequently that you somehow don't trust him and wonder whether he is just taking you for a ride?

I am a professional matchmaker, and here's what I know...

1) We all want to believe that we are really great and that when we meet the right person, that person will recognize just how great we are. However, if someone comes on too strongly, too quickly or just seems too into us, then we are rightfully suspicious.

2) This might be a cliché, but actions do speak louder than words. You need to pay attention to the things that he does rather than the things that he says. It's easy to get sucked in by words, so take note of whether he's backing them up with substance.

3) Not all men, but a lot of men will, in fact, say "whatever it takes" to get a woman to have sex with him. Be wary of too many compliments or too many promises early on, especially if you have yet to do "the deed."

4) A lot of people confuse sexual chemistry with actual feelings. You need to determine whether the two of you are just crazy hot for one other, or whether you really like each other on deeper levels.

5) Watch for signs that show you what he is really like as a person. If he seems earnest and forthright in other aspects of his life, then he is probably being honest with you as well.

6) Take all the flowery compliments and sweet nothings "under advisement" for at least the first two months you know him. You need to see who he really is before you can really know if everything he is saying is true.

7) Notice whether he acts the same way toward his platonic female friends and your female friends as he acts toward you. If he calls everyone "Sweetie," and if he tells every girl she looks "hot" every time he sees her, then this might just be his way of being charming, and you need to decide whether that behavior bothers you for the long haul.

8) Notice whether he is a guy who pays attention to what you say and what is important to you. If he is a listener and an observer, then this could explain why he does the right things all the time. When a man is into a woman, he will pay attention to her needs because he wants to please her. It is the guys who really aren't that into you, when you don't want to believe it, who will treat you poorly and not care to notice.

9) Of course, it is hard to trust a man who just seems to do everything right, but when you actually meet the right person, it's supposed to be right and easy and good. So, take off your distrusting blinders for a moment and let yourself explore the possibility that you just might have found "The One."

10) Some men actually do understand women and what women want. If you find a guy like that, don't push him away; embrace him. You are one of the lucky ones.

Samantha Daniels is a well known professional matchmaker, President of Samantha's Table Matchmaking and the author of "Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker" (Simon & Schuster). You can read more from Samantha on her personal blog, Matchmaker in the Know.

Follow Samantha Daniels on Twitter @Matchmakersd.

 

Follow Samantha Daniels on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Matchmakersd