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Samantha Daniels

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Matchmaker in the Know -- Avoiding Valentine's Day Pitfalls

Posted: 02/14/10 02:18 PM ET

Have you ever wondered if there are things you might do on Valentine's Day that will kill the night and send your relationship spiraling?

Here's what I know...

Valentine's Day is the one of the biggest breakup days of the year. As surprising as this may sound, it is true. People go into the holiday with too many expectations and as a result, the emotions run rampant. Do not let your relationship fall into this trap.

You need to refrain from having any relationshipy, "what is happening between us" conversations on your Valentine's Day date. On Valentine's Day, romance is always in the air and this will invariably draw you closer together so don't bring up that conversation and drive you both apart. He will be very resentful if he plans a magical evening for you and then you "start with him" about those things on your mind. Save it for another night.

You always need to say thank you for your gift, even if you hate it. Keep in mind that regardless of what he actually got you, your beau went out of his way to get you something. And even if it is "so not you", even if it's a polyester sweater, a gift certificate to a discount store or even his college letterman jacket from 20 years ago, you still need to say thank you and be appreciative. Remember, he thinks it sweet, nice and/or sentimental, even if you don't.

You need to acknowledge your boyfriend's efforts no matter how little or how lame they might seem to you. Even if he shows up with daisies from the supermarket and a very basic greeting card, he still tried, and he is still showing up and taking you out. Keep in mind that men are not romantic by nature so any little thing that they do to try to create romance for you on Valentine's Day is sweet. If you don't praise him for the effort , he will hesitate before making that effort again.

You need to let him make the plans for the evening if he offers. Even if he picks a restaurant that you have already eaten in 5 times or if he chooses a restaurant that you hate, you still need to graciously go. If you rebuff his suggestion or take over the plans, you will stripping him of his confidence that he can make plans for you that you will like. This could be irreversible and he might not step up again.

You need to dress sexy, even if it's freezing outside or you were dealing with screaming children all day. His effort for you is planning that special and romantic evening, so your effort for him is to get decked out so he can show you off and so he can see that you care.

You need to don some sexy lingerie. Now this doesn't mean that you need to wear something out of a Fredericks of Hollywood catalog; a matching bra and panties can be fine. However, keep in mind that Valentine's Day night is definitely a hook up night-; he pours on the romance and in return you both get naked or at least closer to naked than you have in the past. He will appreciate it if he find some sexy lace under your clothes when the time comes for the nookie to start.

You need to make certain that you don't get upset even if he doesn't propose to you. Keep in mind that a lot of people do, in fact, get engaged on Valentine's Day, so there is a chance that if you are in a romantic restaurant you might see someone else get engaged. If this occurs, you need to keep your emotions in check or you might blow your chance at your own proposal in the future. Take the high road, congratulate the other happy couple and have continue to have a fun Valentine's night with your honey.

Samantha Daniels is a well known Professional Matchmaker, President of Samantha's Table Matchmaking and the author of Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker (Simon & Schuster).>/em>

 

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