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Robbing the Cradle -- Pros and Cons of Dating a Younger Man

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Dating a younger guy has been all the rage for quite sometime. And if you've ever dated one, you know that there are many perks, but also lots of drawbacks, the most well-known of which is being a so-called cougar. Nonetheless, as women get older, many seem to be tempted to bite into the proverbial younger man pie. Here are some pros and cons to consider before you jump into cougarvile:


He has less baggage than an older guy who has been with more women, and has done more things. A lot of times when you are dating, you are dating the guy and all of his baggage, i.e. his preconceived notions about women and relationships that he concluded from past experiences. A younger guy will have less of these experiences and be more open to his relationship with you.

Since he is probably still figuring himself out, you have the opportunity to mold him into what you want him to be. Guys tend to mature more slowly than women and at an older age. If you catch a guy during his formative years, you can influence the man he will become. This is great if you wind up marrying him and sometimes disappointing if you mold him into an amazing guy and some other girl winds up with him!

He brings out your younger, spontaneous side. It's a fact, when you hang out with younger people, your younger side comes out. After all, you don't want to seem like an old fuddy-duddy.

He respects you more because he knows that you have had more life experiences than he has. Since you are the older and wiser one, he is going to respect you all the more. The fact is, because you have more life experiences than he has, he is going to trust your opinions and suggestions. He knows that you know something about what you are talking about.


He forces you to be "the grown-up" in the relationship since you are the older of the two of you. Often times in a relationship, the two partners take on different roles, like good cop, bad cop, or responsible one and irresponsible one. If you are older, he might expect for you to be the grown-up, as in be the one who cleans up, makes sure not to drink too much, always makes the reservations, etc.

You might have different reference points on things if you grew up at different times, like watching different TV shows, using different expressions, etc. When you date someone who is substantially different in age to you, sometimes you will find that he won't understand some cultural references you make, and vice versa. For example, if you were born in 1980, a guy who was born in 1990 is likely to miss any references you make to a Walkman, M.A.S.H., or ZZ Top.

Even though you relate to him, you might not relate to his friends because they might seem too immature for you. When you are dating someone younger, a lot of times, his friends could get on your nerves because they seem like children to you. Perhaps your guy is more mature, but what about his friends? You will need to figure out a way to tolerate them if you are into him.

Since he is younger, he might not be ready for a serious relationship which means he might waste your time and then end it because he decides that he still needs to go sow his wild oats for awhile. A risk you always take dating a younger guy is whether he is ready to commit. Just be prepared for this and make sure you give him ample time to catch up to you in readiness. He needs to know that you will give him the time he needs to commit.

Do you have any other pros or cons to add to this list?

Samantha Daniels is a well-known professional matchmaker and relationship expert. She is the President of Samantha's Table Matchmaking, a bicoastal matchmaking service which caters exclusively to busy, successful professionals who have no trouble getting dates, but who have yet to find that one person with whom to spend the rest of their lives. She is also the author of "Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker" (Simon & Schuster). She is a frequently relied upon dating, relationship and romance expert, and is seen regularly on-Television, on the Radio and in national newspapers and magazines. You can follow her on Twitter @Matchmakersd. And check out her latest project, The Dating Lounge,, the first ever invitation only dating community where friends date each other's Facebook friends. For more information, you can go to