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Samara O'Shea
Samara O'Shea has written three narrative nonfiction books. Her most recent is—Loves Me. . .Not: How to Survive (and Thrive!) in the Face of Unrequited Love. She is currently pursing a master's degree in social work at Temple University. Find out more at

Entries by Samara O'Shea

Should There Be a Legal Limit On the Number of Times People Can Get Married?

(0) Comments | Posted June 3, 2014 | 4:56 PM

"The first time you marry for love, the second for money, and the third for companionship." ( Jackie Kennedy Onassis)

A few weeks ago I was skimming Mickey Rooney's obituary and came across an ever-amusing Hollywood fact: He was married eight times. I wondered if he said the same...

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Why Trying to Make a Guy Feel Guilty for Mistreating You Is a Waste of Time

(2) Comments | Posted April 1, 2014 | 4:41 PM

When a guy blows you off (by you I mean me), it's tempting to want to get back at him and make him feel guilty for his behavior. The thinking goes, Oh, I would walk away, but he can't treat people like this. He certainly can't treat ME like this....

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The Publishing Process: The Dumbest Thing I Ever Heard... Is True

(1) Comments | Posted January 17, 2014 | 1:52 PM

In early 2010 I attended an event called "Eat, Love, Write." It was a fundraiser featuring bestselling author Elizabeth Gilbert and her sister Catherine Gilbert Murdock as the keynote speakers. Catherine is a successful author in her own right -- specializing in young adult novels. During the question and answer...

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Justin Timberlake Teaches an Unrequited Love Lesson

(0) Comments | Posted January 13, 2014 | 1:28 PM

This is my friend Elizabeth's story, and I share it with permission. Elizabeth and her girlfriends were in Puerto Rico for a bachelorette weekend. While leaving a restaurant in Old San Juan one evening, they spotted a celebrity. Timberlake. Justin Timberlake. As JT exited the building and walked toward his...

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The Awesome Thing My Aunt Did After Her Divorce

(1) Comments | Posted January 8, 2014 | 9:37 AM

Excerpted from Loves Me...Not: How to Survive (and Thrive!) in the Face of Unrequited Love. Copyright 2014 Samara O'Shea. Excerpted with permission by February Books.


I was standing on the corner of 72nd and Broadway talking to my mother when she gave me a startling...

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My Ex Invited Me into His Open Marriage

(320) Comments | Posted January 25, 2013 | 10:47 AM

Last summer I got together with an old friend. We had dated in college and connected on Facebook a few years ago. Out of the blue he suggested we catch up in person.

I told my former flame -- let's call him Ward -- I was happy to catch...

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Interview With an Adulterer

(1275) Comments | Posted July 5, 2012 | 1:30 AM

When I was in my early 20s, my Aunt Veronica yanked me aside at a family party and said, "Has anyone told you about married men?" Her inflection made me laugh. It was a warning both stern and amusing.

As it turned out, I was learning quite a bit about...

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How Many Marriages Actually End In Happily Ever After?

(945) Comments | Posted June 16, 2012 | 2:15 AM

It is often said that marriage has a 50 percent chance of success. This percentage comes, naturally, from the divorce rate. In February 2012 stated that the "overall probability of marriages now ending in divorce falls between 40% and 50%." We tend to assume that the 50%...

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The Myth of the Attractive Mistress

(853) Comments | Posted January 7, 2012 | 2:00 PM

A few weeks ago, I was having drinks with some girlfriends when Ginger White, Herman Cain's mistress, made her way into the conversation. One member of our party aggressively stated, "Oh I saw her picture. She is not attractive -- at all! She is just not pretty." I...

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How Are Vaginas Doing Fifteen Years After "The Vagina Monologues?"

(39) Comments | Posted December 14, 2011 | 4:05 PM

As a 22-year-old cocktail waitress, I envied one of my fellow female servers for two reasons: 1. Her boyfriend, and 2. The ease with which she used the word vagina. She jumped up on the bar one day and said, "I hope my vagina isn't showing." Obviously I recognized the...

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Nothing Like a Little Spam to Remind You How Loved You Are

(8) Comments | Posted August 25, 2011 | 10:43 PM

The first call came at 8:37 a.m. I looked at my phone: Why is my cousin Kevin calling me on a Saturday morning? I rolled back over. The second call came seven minutes later at 8:44. It was my mother. Two family calls before 9 a.m., I figured I better...

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Pray the Gay Away?

(67) Comments | Posted June 27, 2011 | 10:31 AM

My sister attended a funeral a few weeks ago. The organist and beloved choir teacher from our childhood church had passed away. I couldn't make it, so she gave me updates on the people she saw. "Brenda has four kids, and she wants you to call her. Chris and Joanne...

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Finding Out Your Fiancé Is Gay

(23) Comments | Posted February 16, 2011 | 2:29 PM

"You send your fiancé to the dry cleaners one day and he comes back gay," says Kiri Blakeley in her new book, "Can't Think Straight: A Memoir of Mixed-Up Love." 10 years into her relationship with fiancé, Aaron, he told her he was gay. At first...

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Valentine's Day Special: Top Ten Letter-Writing Movies

(3) Comments | Posted February 14, 2011 | 1:43 PM

This Valentine's Day, curl up with your lover, gay best friend, or a group of girl friends, and watch a flick that commemorates the timeless art of putting prose on paper. Here are some top-notch letter-writing movies celebrating both platonic and romantic love:

10. The Shop Around the Corner...

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Flash Your Undies for a Good Cause

(2) Comments | Posted November 29, 2010 | 8:33 PM

I've always wanted breasts. I never got them. In my early teens I'd try on one of mother's bikinis. I'd wear coral lipstick and prophesy, "By this time next year, I'll fit into this!" She no longer has that pink-and-white striped bathing suit, but if she did, I still wouldn't...

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Why Revenge Is Pointless

(28) Comments | Posted August 25, 2010 | 12:30 PM

It was an ordinary afternoon, and I logged onto Facebook to kill the last few minutes of the workday. Mixed among the usual status updates about baseball teams and weekend plans, was a troubling declaration from my friend Layla (name has been changed). Layla lamented that kids were picking on...

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What To Do with My Social Media Accounts in the Event of my Untimely Death

(0) Comments | Posted May 3, 2010 | 2:55 PM

My sister and I have a decidedly irreverent attitude toward death. We don't laugh in the face tragedy or at the passing of people we know and love. We're just cheeky as far as our own deaths are concerned. For example, every time I travel internationally, I scrawl a haphazard...

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Record Breaking Numbers Of Americans Hate Their Jobs

(7) Comments | Posted February 16, 2010 | 9:19 AM

The recent snowstorm that descended mercilessly on the mid-Atlantic, had adults thinking like children. Many were wishing (with all their might) that they, too, would have a snow day. The alternative--digging their cars out from beneath a foot of snow just to go to jobs that make them miserable--was not...

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Ten Tremendous Women Who Never Married

(5) Comments | Posted October 26, 2009 | 3:27 PM

I saw the movie Coco Before Chanel last weekend and am thrilled to add Coco Chanel to my list of extraordinary women who never got married. Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of married women -- my mother especially -- and I'm not opposed to being one someday....

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Infidelity: As It Was, Is, And Always Will Be

(8) Comments | Posted July 7, 2009 | 3:04 PM

Infidelity and the institution it demolishes -- marriage -- are all the rage (again). This time it's thanks to Senator John Ensign, Governor Mark Sanford, and civilian Jon Gosselin. Despite these recent scandals and ever sobering divorce rates, the New York Times offers an optimistic analysis: "Marriage Stands Up...

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