First, a confession: I love the subject matter of this book too much to give it anything but two thumbs up. In my defense, however, I'll go so far as to say that I think most people are prone to agree with me. When I tell passersby that I write letters for a living (LetterLover.net), most of them instantly wax poetic about the lost art and the box of missives they have collecting dust in the attic. Very few of them say, "I'm glad we finally got rid of those stupid things!" Although most admit they are horrible when it comes to writing letters, it's unanimous that everyone loves receiving them. But Bill Shapiro's book Other People's Love Letters: 150 Letters You Were Never Meant to See
(Clarkson Potter) is only partially about letters. It's also about e-mails and text messages with a few blogs thrown in for good measure. It is a testament to the many communicative ways love manifests itself in the present day.
Shapiro has amassed an impressive collection of love mementoes. The short, simple, long, complicated, heartwarming, and heart wrenching each make their way into the spotlight at some point. And the memos are let loose to speak for themselves--nothing has been transcribed but rather everything is copied from its original source. We can see the wrinkled paper, folded napkins, horrific handwriting, smeared ink, and the exact minute an e-message was sent. Every imperfect detail makes the experience of reading other people's private love sentiments that much more real. I'm partial toward this type of voyeurism--I'll take a glimpse into someone's thoughts and feelings over a person caught picking their nose on hidden camera any day.
In the introduction, Shapiro makes a case for why he included the good, the bad, and the just plain mean writings: "I wasn't interested in the kind of correspondence typically found in love letter collections. Not the quill-tip pen variety that Ben Franklin sent to Mrs. F during their courtship. . . And who wants to look only at letters that present bouquet after bouquet of love's red roses. Modern love is complicated." I have two comments on this. First, I'm so glad he included the less-than-perfect sides of love. For someone (i.e. me) who has found a man to adore but one who does not reciprocate her same interest, it's hard to read page after page of love in perfect form. As a matter of fact, I found my situation. There is an e-mail in the book in which a man writes to a woman, "You and I enjoy each other's company and intimacy, but I don't see myself falling in love with you." I imagined my guy e-mailing that to me--you know, to save him the trouble of actually doing so--and mentally moved on. You, too, will find your situation, whatever it may be, closely mirrored somewhere in this book.
My second comment is in the way of defending other love letter collections--Shapiro indicates they tend to leave out the turbulent side of love. I find the opposite to be true. The quill-tip savvy book The 50 Greatest Love Letters of All Time(Crown) edited by David H. Lowenherz offers two wayward chapters--one entitled Painful Separations and another called Fire and Ice. Another comprehensive love letter anthology The Book of Love: Writers and their Love Letters (Plume / Penguin) edited by Cathy N. Davidson exhibits lots of love at its worst in the following sections: Triangles, Separation, Unrequited Love, Dear John / Jane, and Betrayed and Abandoned. These books bear witness to the fact that it's not just modern love that's complicated, but rather all love is complicated--always has been and always will be (be assured that Ben Franklin cried himself to sleep once or twice.) Other People's Love Letters is the next torchbearer in the tradition of putting love in all its glory and shame on paper for the rest of us to relish.