I've always been a Democrat. But, faced with the threat of the world's worst oil spill ever, I'm turning conservative, becoming a small government man.
I've been listening to McConnell, Boehner, Palin and the teabaggers, not to mention Limbaugh, Hannity, Savage and the local Washington righties so long that I've finally caved to their message: Ronald Reagan was right. Government is not the solution, government is the problem!
That, of course, is all we hear from the Republicans in Congress, talk radio, Fox News and elsewhere: government is getting so big it's threatening to crush us. ObamaCare, financial regulation, economic stimulus, bank and car company bailouts, unemployment insurance, and the absolutely unsustainable deficits they're creating will destroy the American way of life. And our children and grandchildren with it! And there's hardly a convincing peep from the other side - the Democrat Party and its liberal base. And you know what happened to Air America Radio.
So I'm calling on the government to take hands off our oil spill. The Coast Guard should stop trying to control the slick, and federal agencies like NOAA should stop trying to predict and manage it. Obama should take back his promise of all-out U.S. aid and order the cabinet secretaries he's sent to help to return home. The navy should absolutely not get involved, and the rest of the Pentagon shouldn't lift a finger. I know, BP's now so scared (after first pooh-poohing government warnings of an awful spill) that it's now panicked and wants to "take help from anyone." But the panic is temporary. BP is a great company. I'm convinced it can take care of matters by itself.
Otherwise, let's face it, friends, we're on the road to SOCIALISM, European-style. Maybe even Communism. It's got to be stopped at all costs! So what if Louisiana's wetlands and beaches are destroyed, its fishing, shrimping and oystering businesses ruined. So what if thousands of birds and other animals die when oil pollutes their refuges.
Too bad. That's just one of the few insignificant downsides of free market capitalism, the greatest system the world has ever known that's made this country the envy of the world. We just have to accept the worst oil pollution threat ever, just as we have to accept Bush's Great Recession. Wanting the government to intervene in these things is just plain un-American. For the French, maybe. But not for us.
My solution is simple. Keep Uncle Sam's big, ugly hands off our oil spill. As Reagan once said: "The nine most terrifying words in the English language are 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help'." Don't let them. Instead, do as the Divine Sarah exhorts us: "Drill baby drill!"