Gay Marriage

I guarantee that Maine will pass the Gay Marriage bill. I hope and believe that the legislature will pass it this year, but I know it will be law eventually.

Social progress moves in only one direction -- forward. The history of social progress in this country -- for concern after concern -- has followed an identifiable pattern. Often first steps affirming changing norms have come from a court recognizing that in an evolving society what was once unfamiliar and strange has become more common -- and that basic rights that once seemed inapplicable were being applied at an inexorable pace.

The African-American civil rights movement is the obvious case -- the long, slow progress from slavery, through segregation, to court-ordered and often military-enforced integration, to a fully integrated society.

A similar story can be told of women's rights, of the rights of religious minorities, of the rights of the disabled. Progress starts slowly, often with a path-breaking court case. In every case, there is a backlash, as those comfortable in traditional ways, frightened by change, recoil. But in this great land the basic goodness of the people prevails. And progress follows.

And so it will with the right of gays to marry.

The decision by Chief Justice Margaret Marshall of the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court in the 2003 Goodridge case, stating that a ban on gay marriage violated the equal protection clause of the Commonwealth's constitution, put gay marriage squarely on the public agenda. A backlash followed -- at the polls in 2004 and in state legislatures. Now, six short years later, the tide has clearly turned. Civil union legislation, thought radical when passed in Vermont nine years ago, defines the conservative end of the spectrum. Gay marriage has been approved not only in liberal states but in the conservative Midwestern state of Iowa, where a unanimous Supreme Court recognized the legal position adopted by Massachusetts.

The issue is moving from the courts to the state legislatures. One Maine state representative said to me that "the interests have taken their stands. Their positions are set in stone." A fair number of legislators are waiting to hear what their constituents say.

But voices on all sides have been heard around the nation -- and in Maine. Our State Constitution, like that of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, is broader than the federal Constitution in banning discrimination. Article 1, Section 6 bars discrimination against any person, without specifying the protected class to which that person must belong. We did that because it was the right thing to do when the Constitution was adopted, and it remains so now.

For the state to sanction marriage between males and females -- and to give rights and recognition to those individuals -- but to deny the same recognition and rights to gay couples violates our Constitution. More than that, it violates the basic essence of who we are as a people. Leaders in our state government -- if they deserve recognition as leaders -- should recognize and proclaim that strongly.

They should listen to their constituents, but then weigh those views and lead. No one argues that any religious sect must recognize gay marriage. Priests, ministers, rabbis, imams, or tribal chiefs who believe in recognizing only heterosexual marriages would not be forced to perform gay marriages. To demand otherwise would violate our Constitution as well; the state cannot mandate religious beliefs.

However, state-sanctioned marriage is different; state legislators cannot give in to those traditionalists who are uncomfortable with gay marriage, who are somehow threatened by gay marriage, or who for whatever reason feel that gay marriages lessen their own marriage or parenthood. I value nothing more than my roles as husband and father. Neither my marriage nor my role as husband is lessened or threatened by the love and commitment of gay couples. My role as father is not compromised because two men or two women can raise children with equal success.

As a notary public and a loving uncle, I was honored to officiate at civil marriage ceremonies for two of my nieces and one of my nephews and their respective spouses. I also love my gay niece and my gay nephew. Should they ask, I would be honored to unite one or both of them with the person to whom they are committed in similar ceremonies -- and proud if I could do it "by the authority vested in me by the State of Maine."

We cannot dictate that others must like gay marriage. As with any changing social norms, acceptance will come with time. But we can and should stand tall for the principle that our state government will not treat couples and families differently because of the sexual orientations of the loving individuals involved.

L. Sandy Maisel is director of the Goldfarb Center for Public Affairs and Civic Engagement at Colby College.

Comments

[Pamela King]

Comparing the gay rights movement to that of women's rights and/or the African-American civil rights movement is absolutely absurd. These movements were fought and won because these issues involved the rights of human beings - not their right to a lifestyle choice. Yes I said it - homosexuality is a choice. They make a conscious choice of who they choose to partner with because it fulfills their desire. Women and African-Americans don't choose their gender or their skin color. They really are born that way.

[Disuberence]

You say that gender and skin color are not a choice. If you are a homosexual man (as I am) or a woman, it is not a choice you decided to make. It is a choice to reject that truth about yourself (Haggard, Craig, etc.) if you are a homosexual. I know it's easy to think that being gay is a choice. All of those people switching around between partners -- though I still believe gay being a choice = bisexual -- and all those 'gay rehab camps' (Spoiler: they don't work). You say that same-sex marriage is not about human beings, but choices. I'm gay. It's a part of who I am, but it is not everything. As much as people scream and yell about me not being human, I still am.

[Disuberence]

Cont'd...


I know, as a heterosexual (sorry if I am assuming something -- Anne Heche is that you?) it is hard to wrap your head around. I know you may think it's weird, think it's some kind of fetish like BDSM. For some people I think it may be a fetish, some kind of thrill (again, Haggard, Craig, etc) Those aren't the people looking to get married. Those aren't the people that have to deal with constant self-esteem issues because of the way homosexuals are continuously battered both vocally and physically (check out Iraq for more on that fun time). Those aren't the people that have to be told by the government that they are less than a person. The worst part of this all? The U.S. is one of the better countries in terms of gay rights, and we're still being beaten by some. I thought America was the land of the free and the home of the brave? I guess it only counts if you're a heterosexual.

((No offense was meant to anyone in this post. It is a combination of anger-filled ranting and my attempts at rationalizing my existence to people that would prefer me gassed and thrown in a mass grave))

[Pamela King]

Please understand that although I do not agree with your lifestyle I do believe you are a human being with rights the same as anyone else. It is not my wish or intent to have homosexuals gassed and thrown in mass graves - I do not wish any harm at all to you or anyone else for that matter. My point is as simple as this - when I go to bed at night I make a conscious choice to sleep with my husband just as you make a conscious choice to sleep with whomever you choose. Who anyone chooses to partner with is a choice whether you are homosexual or heterosexual. Aside from a radical operation a person cannot change their gender and they cannot change their skin color. That's the simple truth of it.
How you choose to live your life is up to you - God gave us all free will. I believe you will have to stand before God someday and answer for the choices you've made just as I will have to stand before God and answer for the choices I've made.

[JohnBisceglia]

Sandy - I still think a HUGH obstacle to our progress is the Queer Community's lack of what I call "suffering equality". Women were largely in the same boat as far as oppression, as were African-Americans. But some gays are closeted ("passing" as straight), some are financially well-off (can afford to purchase rights piecemeal), while others become homeless due to Anti-Gay laws. We are all NOT hurting the same, so we are not all angry ENOUGH to fight.

Another thing that is depressing. MANY heterosexuals seem to "support" us, even here on the Huffington Post. But HOW MANY HAVE CALLED THEIR STATE SENATORS? More than once?

Silence = Lack of Support.

[JohnBisceglia]

After spending a lifetime performing the music for wedding ceremonies AND often receptions (over 200 weddings and/or receptions), it would be NICE to actually marry the man I love in MY wedding.

HETEROSEXUAL WOMAN - Gay men in particular sing at your weddings and play the piano and organ, do your flowers, your hair, make your wedding dresses, etc....

Have you EVER thought ONCE that perhaps WE also want to marry the man WE love?

[MarcoLuxe]

Sandy: Clear, concise, principled. Waytago! But be prepared to be labeled ungodly by christianists who hold their self-selected concoction of old texts in greater authority than thoughtful analysis like yours.

[PhilipB]

Thanks, Sandy!

[CatoTheCensor]

Amen. As a priest myself, I'm looking forward to the day when I can start officiating the weddings of same-sex couples. Unfortunately, as I'm living in Virginia, it'll undoubtedly be a while.

[MarkBoston]

it's looking rather good for Maine to become the 5th state to ban the idea of the 2nd class American . Go Maine !!!

[Bill Lee 1]

Lets hope Maine come thru with marriage equality this year. CHEERS!