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Sara Eckel
Sara Eckel is the author of It’s Not You: 27 Wrong Reasons You’re Single. You can sign up for a free bonus chapter of her book at You can also follow her on Twitter at @saraeckel or friend her on Facebook at

Entries by Sara Eckel

Getting Over Single 'Shame'

(0) Comments | Posted July 25, 2014 | 10:38 AM

After being unattached for 11 years, Sue had just started dating someone who had a lot of relationship experience, and she was embarrassed by her thin relationship resume. "How do I let go my feelings of inadequacy?" she asked author Sasha Cagen and I in a recent webcast.

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Think You Know How to Flirt? New Research Says You Don't

(0) Comments | Posted July 15, 2014 | 4:06 PM

You thought you were being so obvious with your jokey comments and playful arm-punches. After all, you don't brush lint off anyone's jacket. You don't gently tease everyone when they take an extra-large helping of mashed potatoes.

We flirt with the people we think are cute and might want to...

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Are You Hot or Not? The Answer May Change With Time

(0) Comments | Posted June 23, 2014 | 4:51 PM

Lose weight. Whiten your teeth. Work those abs. Cover your gray. And for goodness sake, put on a little lipstick!

When you're dating, the pressure to measure up to the beauty standard prescribed by magazines, advertisements and celebrity info-tainment programs can feel pretty relentless.

Sure, we all want to look...

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When Your Hot Date Goes Cold -- and Then Heats Up Again

(1) Comments | Posted June 5, 2014 | 3:16 PM

At first, things were amazing -- dates that lasted 14 hours, a constant string of flirty emails and texts. You discussed what your kids would look like and whether or not you'd both be happy living in Albuquerque. The dude was seriously into you.

Until he wasn't. Suddenly communication ceased....

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The Reveal: When Do You Tell Your Date... That Thing?

(2) Comments | Posted May 15, 2014 | 2:50 PM

At a bookstore cafe in Boston, a woman in the audience had a question for me, the evening's designated dating guru. There was something she didn't want the men she dated to know about her. How long should she hide it?

I sat on a high stool in front of...

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Dating Rules: Sell Yourself Vs. Be Yourself

(0) Comments | Posted April 15, 2014 | 6:11 PM

Dating guides frequently give strict rules about how to behave around prospective partners. There are dictates about who should pick the restaurant and pay the check, how far in advance the date should be requested, and how long to wait before sending the follow-up text.

We're advised to be open,...

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Let Love Come Naturally, or Treat It Like a Job?

(0) Comments | Posted April 8, 2014 | 5:56 PM

Last month, I attended an event where I read from It's Not You, my book about navigating life as a single adult, when an audience member asked an interesting question. I had said I didn't think a romantic relationship was something you could pointedly go after,...

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Why We Can All Relax and Ignore the Princeton Mom

(4) Comments | Posted March 14, 2014 | 6:34 PM

When I first heard that the Princeton alumni magazine published a letter telling young women that they risked eternal spinsterhood if they didn't snare a husband in college, I thought nothing of it. People write crackpot letters to the editor all the time. And bright young women have always been...

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Alone on Valentine's Day? Meet Some of My Friends

(0) Comments | Posted February 11, 2014 | 5:27 PM

Last year, author Claire Messud scolded a reporter who commented that she wouldn't want to be friends with the narrator of Messud's most recent novel, The Woman Upstairs. The interviewer asked the author if she'd want the character for a friend.

"For heaven's sake, what kind of question is...

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Single on New Year's Eve: Are We There Yet?

(2) Comments | Posted December 30, 2013 | 12:37 PM

Couples often like to say that their New Year's Eve plans are really boring -- a quiet dinner for two, a movie night with the kids. When you're single, boring isn't really an option. Especially if you're looking for love, watching Netflix in your pajamas feels like a serious negation...

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