If Not You...

Dear Senator Kennedy:

I understand you are going to support a non-gender identity inclusive ENDA. As a constituent, as a lesbian but mostly, as a mother, I am asking you to reconsider.

It's a bad choice, Senator Kennedy. And one that sends the wrong message.

Remember the shooting that took place a while ago in California that the mainstream media ignored? Lawrence King was shot in the back of the head during first period English class. He was 15 years old. He identified as gay.

And he did not conform to gender roles. He wore makeup and high heels to school. That made him a target. The other boys were quoted as saying it "freaked them out."

It is an unwritten rule. One that can have devastating ramifications. Cameron McWilliams hung himself after telling his mother he wanted to be a girl. He had been teased for wearing his sister's underwear and had asked to wear makeup. He was 10 years old.

When you leave out the gender identity piece of ENDA, you don't just leave out the 40 year old man transitioning to become a woman, you leave out Lawrence King. You leave out Cameron McWilliams.

What will you say to kids like them? When you grow up, we'll protect the part of you that's gay, but the gender stuff... whoa. Forget about that. Too risky. We don't want to offend anyone.

I know Senator, that you have been a long time supporter of LGBT rights. I know you are one of only five Senators who have publicly stated support of same sex marriage. It is a huge stance to take. You have always stood by my community.

You are the second longest serving member of the Senate. Your support is essential for progressive legislation. Without you, a gender identity inclusive ENDA will fail.

With your leadership, though, people will not, as Barney Frank suggests, "picture men and woman in showers together and ... vote it down." With your leadership we will instead have the opportunity to create dialog and understanding. We will be able to stand up for those who are so quickly dismissed and give voice to very real pain and struggle. We will be able to set a standard of behavior that intolerance will never justify discrimination.

Ironically, it's a standard most companies are already willing to embrace. "More than 300 U.S. companies have nondiscrimination policies that include provisions for gender identity, in addition to the more common policy for lesbian, gay and bisexual employees." Businesses make these kinds of changes long before the government does.

With your leadership, Senator Kennedy, we can show it has nothing to do with showers and everything to do with dignity.

If you won't stand up for a kids like Lawrence King and Cameron McWilliams... then who will?

Comments

[glny]

Why do they have bias on GLBT for their job? The sexual orientation of one person will decide whether his job is doing well or bad? Ridiculous! I know many bisexuals on the site BiLoves. They do their jobs very excellently.

[ArchAngel]

Teenage years are impossible enough with raging hormones kicking in, constantly changing bodies, constantly changing expectations, etc. I can not even begin to imagine the terrible difficulties for those who find themselves to be genetically programmed against societal norms. Yes, these people are medically confirmed to be different with many identifiable actual pathologies including cat scans - it's not a choice for them.

[HollywoodBill]

Bush has already promised this bill a veto should it make it to his desk. Should the Transgender part be attached to it, it will become a campaign wedge issue. Like it or not, there is no support from the majority of the House or the Senate to pass this bill with the Transgender part on it. Same sex marriage was one of the reasons that the Dems lost in 2004. Yet there is an excellent chance, that with majorities in the Senate and the House and with a Dem President, ENDA could be passed without too much of a public outcry. Sure Dobson and his minions will shriek, but they could very well be a minority voice. Without the Transgender part that is.

Politics is the art of the possible. While it is a wonderfully idealistic view that Transgenders should be included on this bill, it will not pass with them on it. It is going to be difficult enough to get this thing through. The transgenders will lead to its certain defeat. In the immortal words of Jimmy Carter, "Life's not fair."

[itmaybetoolate]

Guess what - even with a dem prez and majorities in both chambers, it won't pass. Remember that Obama supports separate but equal for marriage and HRC is from the DOM crowd. Do you think either one would sign a bill that will damage their chances for 2012? Grow up and join the real world. Discrimination against LGBTQ is tolerated by the dems because of the numbers - no chance of throwing an election one way or the other. No one in Washington DC represents the LGBTQ community when all is said and done.

[Egghead]

I agree with you, Sara. "Transgender" is the part of LGBT that is hardest to get my head around; I will just admit that I don't understand it. I do understand that it's real, and that discrimination based on gender identity can be lethal. Let's put it this way: since it's an experience I haven't had, I'm willing to shut up and listen to the people who have. Discriminating on the basis of gender identity sends a message that more extreme reactions, such as violence, are ok. They are not ok.

[itmaybetoolate]

Many Transgender folks think of their genitalia as a birth defect. Perhaps that will help you understand what they might experience when looking in a mirror.

[SonofLiberty1]

One other thing..

I just can't stand folks who can't realize that life is MORE THAN being heterosexual or homosexual.

When I meet someone for the first time I DON'T WANT TO KNOW what they do in bed, it's a PRIVATE PART OF ONE'S LIFE!

If you choose to let a friend know that, it's your choice but I have no idea why you think that the whole world needs to know your private business.

If you truly would like to see folks accepted as Gay...don't trumpet the fact that you are so different!

You are accepted as a person... a total package if you will.

Your being homo or hetero is only PART of your life, not the totality of it!

[PookyShoehorn]

>>You are accepted as a person... a total package if you will.

[DianeDfromPhoenix]

Sonofliberty: When you meet someone at work and they talk about their wife or husband, do you immediately think about what they do in bed? I don't. You probably don't either.

However, when a non-heterosexual person reveals that their loved one is a person of the same gender -- and that can be as simple as a photo on a work desk -- many people immediately reduce that individual to what they do (or don't do) in bed.

Let's make a deal -- you support efforts to keep me from getting fired for having a photo on my desk, and I'll be happy to never wave a rainbow flag again

[itmaybetoolate]

Why do you turn this into an argument about being obsessed with one's sexuality? ENDA simply says that an employer cannot fire you for being gay or lesbian (and transgender we hope). You are trying to blame the lack of simple legal protection on a desire for LGBTQ to "trumpet the fact...you are so different." Guess what, LGBTQ are not that different. They pay taxes, go to a job, pay bills, raise families, have arguments, love, grieve, watch HBO, shop, etc. This bill has nothing to do with wanting the whole world to know their business. It is a request to enjoy the same rights and privilieges in the workplace that others do.

[SonofLiberty1]

Look, let's be reasonable or try to, shall we?

If you are a guy and you decide to dress up as a girl and go to school like that, you are just asking
to be hit. Not that it's right, but it's just plain stupid.

Teenage years are hard enough and bullying shouldn't be tolerated but why go asking for trouble?

[larry278]

Some say that the gender with which one expresses via one's sexuality or other means of personality id, dress, etc isn't a choice. It's not nurture but nature which decides. Have you ever tried to get a teen ager, the parents of a teen ager or any one to be reasonable? There are some who insist that the homophobic can never be reasonable or the opposite.

[itmaybetoolate]

There is another way to look at it. Teenage boys who dress as a female, knowing the ridicule and physical abuse they will experience, must experience an enormous amount of psychological conflict between their identity as a female and their male anatomy - enough to drive them to act out their female identity, despite the homophobic culture in which they live.

[hopeless277]

I say the first step in stamping out homosexuality is to screen members of congress for homosexual tendencies. These include thinking rationally, accepting responsibility, speaking clearly, neatness, attention to detail, and last but not least caring for their fellow human beings. I suspect they will all quality as non-homosexuals.