Just One More Dead Faggot

I have no words for how I feel today. Not only was a 15-year-old boy shot in the back of the head by someone who hated him because he was gay, because he was not masculine, because he wore jewelry and makeup, but also a 10-year-old boy hung himself in England.

He wanted to be a girl. He wanted to wear his sister's clothes and makeup. His mother let him wear girl's underwear but told him he'd have to wait till he was older to wear makeup.

Of course, by then it could get him killed.

The message of hate is getting through to our kids, loud and clear. It's okay to kill someone who freaks you out because they don't fit a gender role to your liking.

That is, if they haven't killed themselves.

Ten years old and full of so much shame he hung himself. Is anyone listening?

In my LGBT community, we argue about who is more pro LGBT rights, Obama or Clinton.

It's been days since Lawrence King was shot dead. Neither candidate has issued a statement or said a word. The national media has done a complete pass on the story.

Both candidates make me sick.

Blogger Mike Rogers, wrote earlier, the "reality is such that if either of them said the same things about woman, Blacks or Jews, they would never be elected president. Imagine Hillary not promising to immediately lift a ban on women serving in the armed forces. Imagine Barack saying we'll have a separate (but equal) institution of civil unions for Blacks."

While the gay community has been blazing for days about this incident, the rest of the country dozes on, reading about Michelle Obama's wardrobe choices on the campaign trail, or Roger Clemens lying his ass off on Capitol Hill.

Because this is the one kind of hate no one seems to be willing to stand up against. Let's not offend anyone who believes Jesus was anti-homosexual. Careful not to send a message of tolerance to young children in case they find some condolence in that message and face another day.

Don't worry. I get the message, loud and clear.

Just one more dead faggot.

Comments

[JosephHill]

FlyingDutchman
"That's the depressing thing, isn't it? If we don't elect a Dem, it will only get worse."

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This attitude boggles my mind! If the American people hadn't resigned themselves to choosing between two (increasingly indistinguishable) parties, we WOULD have a choice of voting for a candidate who would genuinely represent our interests.

I contend that a substantial plurality (probably even a majority) of voters are actually what we would call "progressive" IF they are 'allowed' to hear/see/evaluate a candidate (or candidates) who is qualified to articulate the progressive point-of-view. Why have we all given up so easily? Why have we bought into the narrow paradigm that the two major parties have laid out for us?

We should have started the process years ago (maybe even during the 2000 presidential campaign) of bucking this two-party system that the majority of Americans admit that they hate. Instead, we were bullied into accepting that we must choose between one Evil or Another...and we're about to be scared into doing it again.

We'd better learn our lesson before it's entirely too late.

[JosephHill]

Right on, Ms Whitman!
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I'm not at all surprised that neither of the "top tier" Democratic candidates left to choose between has uttered one "peep" about this tragedy. They have what they consider 'more important things' on their minds--like how to bamboozle enough voters to assure a victory.

I gave up, long ago, expecting any kind of principled stand from 'leading' Democrats...and I could never understand why so many in the LGBTQ community can be satisfied with candidates who keep LGBTQ issues at arm's length. Dennis Kucinich (bless him!) and Mike Gravel were the only Democrats to advocate for EQUAL rights for same-gender couples, while these other bozos wouldn't commit to anything more than SIMILAR (i.e., back-of-the-bus) rights.

LGBTQ voters dis-empower themselves when they fawn over 'calculators' like Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. I know...we were 'assured' by all the usual suspects in the media and in the Party hierarchy that Kucinich "couldn't win"; but that should not have been an excuse for NOT voting for the most progressive gay-friendly candidate in the Dem Party anyway.

If we in the LGBTQ community would stop accepting the crumbs that the Hillary's and Obama's toss our way, and start demanding that Democrats live up to their rhetoric, we would have had EQUAL rights by now. If more of us had voted for Kucinich as proof that we DEMAND genuinely equal rights, Clinton and Obama would have had to start modifying their 'game plans' so as to WIN our votes...instead of taking them for granted

[loril]

Thank you for the powerful piece. The title caught my attention because of the inflammatory term...and, yes -- sadly, this is the first I have heard of either of these tragic deaths. I don't have as much time as I should for keeping up on events and I don't watch TV. But, still...I should have known about this.

I look at my young daughter, just starting out in life...and I have no idea if she will be straight or gay. However, I know that she will have gay friends and associates either way. I thought we were making some progress as a society. I recall how difficult it was for some of my friends to come out...most did not do so until college or into their 20s and some remained closeted to everyone except their closest friends. Seeing younger people so bold -- being themselves and living their lives breaking more barriers -- is very powerful.

Then you read these stories and sometimes it is hard to focus on any of the positive change. My heart truly goes out to the people who cared for these boys...and I hope like hell that they at least had a few people in their life who did.

As a straight woman who has it so much easier just because I was born this way, I would encourage a lot more of us to support GLBT causes with our time and donations. My husband and I contribute to the Human Rights Campaign and I know there are other options as well. The time is now to step up and counter attack these hate crimes.

[rambleredhead]

When I heard the news of this tragedy I figured there would be coverage of the candidates but nothing was said and I was so upset.

It is the very reason why I do my podcast on GLBT issues and interview members of the GLBT community and our allies so we can show the world that being gay or straight is simply a part of who you are.

A truly excellent post and thank you for speaking out!

[JScott]

Part of it could be the desensitizing of people and guns that don't convey the message that's usually true WHEN YOU SHOOT SOMEONE IN THE HEAD THAT PERSON'S LIFE IS ENDED-THEY ARE DEAD!!!!
Not no you didn't gain points and didn't get a weapon in a video game that you can play again-THEY ARE DEAD. Unfortunately some folks don't get it!

[xdevildawg4u]

Sarah, what a brilliant, powerful and spot-on commentary!

I think we are ALL getting the message loud and clear; even from Democratic politicians; give me your time, talent, treasure, blood, sweat and tears, then sit down and shut the hell up while we treat you like the leprous step child hidden away in the attic.

It's completely unacceptable that no presidential candidate has mentioned this tragedy.

Something tells me that they WOULD HAVE noticed it and mentioned it if the shooter had been gay and the victim had been straight.

Message received; LOUD AND CLEAR!

[MarkusMN]

I couldn't agree more - what the f**ck - I wish one of the candidates would acknowledge this tragedy and do something! Forget gay rights, trans rights, black rights etc...why can't it just be HUMAN RIGHTS! (but I do feel that they must think "its just one more faggot..." cause if it was their child, I could only imagine that things would be a lot different)

[OtayPanky]

A terrible story, showing how much residual prejudice there is against gays and lesbians in our society.

From TIME magazine: "Students apparently often taunted King, who didn't even have a safe home to return to after school: he was living in a shelter for abused and troubled children."

We've come a ways - but we still have a ways to go.

[olda]

To the depths of despair that some children must bear the straight folks will never understand or really care its just another queer.

[liveandlearn]

my friend, jim, was just another dead faggot. lesbian or gay, i hear the voices.

[nokkonwud]

I have always said - Gay Americans have always been brave, but we have seldom been allowed to be free.

[JaegerBaeger]

Another sad reflection on our society. It is a universal term to call something lame "gay" by the under 30 crowd. People who should know better. I have heard it even used by gay folks. One thing I have learned is that we won't ever "win" the war against discrimination. But by our constant resistance to these ideas and terms we will keep it in check.

[OtayPanky]

JaegerBaeger: It is a universal term to call something LAME "gay" by the under 30 crowd. People who should know better.

===

Indeed.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disability_rights_movement

[anon004]

Sara-I understand you used the word to make a point, and you did it brilliantly, but that word gives me pain to the core. (It's the "f" word that I won't allow my children to use.) What happened to this beautiful child terrifies me. It is the reptilian part of the human brain that must destroy anything that it doesn't know or understand. When will we ever overcome this?

[SaraWhitman]

It needs to hurt to the core.

These boys are dead.

So many more are, too.

[dissolvethecorporation]

Don't give up. Just the fact that we are discussing this is light years ahead of where we were a few decades ago. We are fighting a mentality. The people who are wrong about homosexuality are wrong about everything. Keep talking, keep teaching, keep caring.

[YellerDawg]

It's hard to keep believing in the system. Neither Barack nor Hillary will do much for gay people, but the alternative is frightening, very frightening.

[FlyingDutchman]

That's the depressing thing, isn't it? If we don't elect a Dem, it will only get worse.

[T.Roll]

That's right, Dutchman, only a democratic president will stop the murder of gay people. Oh, wait, who was in office when Matthew Shepard was murdered?