Maine, The Way Life Should Be

I love the sign that marks the entrance into Maine on I-95. "Maine: The way life should be." Every time I cross the Piscataqua bridge, I heave a big sigh of relief. I love Maine. Everything about it.

Today, I read a poll that says we are losing the battle in Maine for the ballot question that will take away Marriage Equality in that state. 46 to 48%. And that does not count for the people who will say they are for marriage equality but close the voting curtain and let their real feelings mark the ballot.

The reason why I love Maine so much is because people let other people be. There is an air of libertarian tolerance, not so much based in left wing, progressive thinking as it is in a none of your damn business mindset. I am, surprisingly, a very private person. I like my neighbors, love being able to stop and chat at times, but for the most part, I want to be left alone. I don't want anyone telling me what color I can or cannot paint my house, nor do I feel any need to control someone's choice.

Of course, I'll point out something ugly, but that's all I feel I have the right to do.

The question of marriage equality in Maine, to me, is just that. None of any one's business. It's a legal contract, no religious institution is bound by it, and it benefits families. The churches so adamant in discussion a political vote are risking their (c)3, nonprofit status. No one is making them do that and the laws are very clear.

I can't help but mention here in Massachusetts not only have we not had plagues of locusts, we also have all our churches. Not one was shut down or overrun by homosexual activists.

Not one.

I don't know if anyone from the anti-equality side realizes this, but we are going to have families whether we have rights nor not. Our kids are going to go to public schools, whether or not the right to marry is repealed. Your kids are going to be sitting next to our kids in class. They will learn about different families. The chance to stop that ... well ... was never a possibility. You can fight to change the curriculum to include God, creationism, and prayer but our kids are still going to have two moms or two dads, and there isn't a damn thing you can do to change that.

So all those precious images of the little red school house where everyone was uniform and the same are over no matter what laws are passed. I've been to my kids classrooms and nary a single pink triangle or rainbow flag or utterance of anything LGBT has ever happened. But all the kids know my sons have two moms.

And you know, I still believe without the fear-mongering and the ridiculous tactics of the other side, most Mainers wouldn't vote to change this. They would complain, gossip, argue but not change the law. Not because they don't care -- oh, they care -- but because a decision has been made, they voted those people in there to make such decisions and what is done is done.

Doesn't mean you can't think it's ugly, like the color of your neighbor's house. Just means you don't have a right to change it.

Let's face it, marriage rights are simply going to be a reality, one way -- state by state -- or another -- with federal recognition. While I won't hold my breath waiting for the federal work to happen, I do believe it will. Soon.

Maine is a beautiful state. It long ago captured my heart. I believe people in that state, for the most part, are fair minded. I hope this November they vote to continue the live and let live atmosphere I have come to appreciate deeply.

Comments

[Scriobhaim]

There should be no "legal gay marriage". There should be no "legal heterosexual marriage". There should be no "legal" marriage, period. The state should not BE in the business of calling/de­claring/so­lemnizing people as "married". There should be a state-issued certificate of "single household", for tax and other purposes, with certain restrictions and liabilities attached (for example, you can't declare "single household" and get tax breaks for two years and then suddenly quit, without certain penalties - to prevent a revolving-door game). Lots of people who don't even have any intention in the least to consider themselves "married" (like a person and an aged parent, or even just a couple of truly "platonic" friends) could avail themselves of it. Couples who want to head right to their church from the state office, to get (church-) "married" could do so. Gays who want to call themselves "married" could do so (free speech). But government doesn't need to be in the defining-w­ho's-marri­ed-game.

[PhilipB]

Thank You!

[scpajor]

Great post! You're totally right!

[John Bisceglia]

I hope our country wakes up to this EVIL ABOMINATION of "Family Civil Rights Campaigns" , better known as the evil process of allowing families WITH rights to have the opportunity to vote and "take away" those exact same rights from other families. A related evil is while the "contests" are fought, more and more children continue to suffer, more people will seek mental health counseling for new conditions, and more will have to cope with existing conditions being re-triggered or intensified, as with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Oh, and a criminal amount of money that could have strengthed countless worthy charities is flushed down the toliet.

The results below from PROP 8 should inspire more child advocates and "allies" to SPEAK UP. NOW.

In my own state, children will see a GOD-awful sign with a creepy outline of a "heterosex­ually-iden­tified" family (LOL - better check with Dad on that one), with a blood-red word REJECT on it. Children should NOT have to see signs that blatantly reject and demonize their family. EVER. Not in America in 2009. The federal government needs to step up NOW and prevent this 20-30 year psychological abuse to a segment of society and those whom love us. It is criminal that children will go outside and feel LESS safe due to public campaigns against their families.

PROP 8 results here:
http://www.marriageequality.org/uploads/REPORT%20TWO_PROP_8_HURT_MY_FAMILY_FINAL_VERSION.pdf

[PhilipB]

Fanned!
Thank you, from the bottom and the top and the middle and every which way... of my heart!

[johnbdonovan]

The single most pressing need in today's society -- the one most deserving of all the resources we can provide by way of support -- is to increase the extent to which children have the role modeling and firmness and authority of fathers. People can talk till they're blue in the face about how a mother or two mothers can fill the same role, but the big trends in society are not formed by the exceptional situations but by the general rule, which is that a masculine influence is crucially important. It's for lack of that influence in parenting that the vast majority of prison inmates are where they are and twice as many teen girls become unwed mothers than would otherwise be the case. Resist social approval of any arrangement other than the mother-father family!

[CydMiller]

As Ms Whitman's post states so accurately, GLBT people will continue to have, adopt, and raise children regardless of how many inaccurate, ridiculous comments and viewpoints are uttered. There are countless, credible studies that have proven that children raised in GLBT families are no different than children raised in heterosexual families.

We should resist any social approval of a society that rejects science and education and favors to live in the dark ages.

[mercury613]

You have no evidence whatsoever to back up your claims, so they are meaningless.

[johnbdonovan]

No evidence? Didn't you read what I said? Girls without fathers are twice as likely to get pregnant, boys without fathers twice as likely to have run-ins with the law. Gender complementarity is crucial to child-rearing, the most formative influence in anyone's life. Prisoners in general didn't have a father to love them in the roughhousing type of way that shows them the boundaries or to model the way men should respect women. As for lack of mothers, the biggest problems are the early years, the most formative of all. Three men and a baby was a good comedy because people know it's not a good reality. All you have to do is to think of your mother and think of what life would have been like for you if she weren't around when you were little and Dad just brought in some other guy. This is history's biggest revolution against common sense.