God Save the Queen from Americans
It is incredible how quickly we can forget our own history. We face the future with a blind certainty that we have learned from past mistakes, that they will never be committed again. And time and time again we are proved wrong. I'm talking, of course, about Michelle Obama touching Queen Elizabeth II's back. Have we, as a country, not learned anything since Queen Elizabeth: Part 2's last visit to the United States in 1988? If you don't recall, I'll remind you.
She was on an official visit to Los Angeles. All she wanted to do was attend a state dinner and see a baseball game. She wanted to dress up, wear some sashes, a fancy hat, maybe eat a hotdog. All in peace. But that was not to be. At the State Dinner she was tackled by a paranoid and misguided Leslie Neilsen and fell into a very compromising position that I will not even talk about here. Despite this major embarrassment, she graciously deigned to attend an Angels game soon after. After throwing out the first ball of the game with panache and incredible natural skill, she was the victim of an assassination attempt carried out by a hypnotized Reggie Jackson and masterminded by the evil business tycoon Vincent Ludwig and his boss Papshmir. Thankfully a fat woman fell from a great height onto hypnotized Reggie Jackson and stopped him from carrying out this nefarious plot.
Yet SOMEHOW, after all of this, QE2 still agreed to meet Barack and Michelle Obama. And what does Michelle do? She TOUCHES the Queen. On the BACK. Haven't we put this woman through enough? She is Britain's direct conduit to GOD for goodness sake! This just further demonstrates what bullies the Obama's are that they had to pick on Queen Elizabeth: The Sequel. Why don't they just kick her while she's down? And so they did. Almost as though to taunt her, they presented her with an iPod. An IPOD? You don't think she has like twenty-two gold and diamond scepter shaped iPods lying around her palace? It's probably an American iPod too. So, what, now she'll have to go out and buy a power converter? Why can't we Americans just leave the Queen 2.0 alone? She's been through enough.
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Ms. Walker, in Mrs. Obama's defence, the Queen seemed to invite it all by "assaulting" Mrs. Obama first, and Ms. Obama only "assaulted" her back in reflexive self-defence. (I now expect to be chastized and schooled just like you were :-).
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If QE2 is a conduit to God, then I'd say Michelle (and Barack) are right in there, actually talking to God.
So that hug might have been a message from above. Too soon to tell. Who knows the ripple effect? We may see the Queen in our July 4th parades, on a float, beckoning her British subjects and us across the pond for embraces, light hugs, even invitations for tea and toast. I can't wait!
Great satirical piece!
Oh give it break...to refer to the "queen" as a conduit to God, just proves that the Brits still have not changed from the their stupid cave dwelling superstitious BS. She's just another old broad that deserves as much respect and consideration as the next...Michelle Obama did nothing wrong...Knock it off.
Umm, she's officially head of the Church of England. Just one of the titles inherited since Elizabeth I. Nobody's taken the Divine Right thing seriously since the Stewarts.
Almost right. The satire is fun, but what really happened was Michelle Obama responded reflexively to the Queens touching her lower back - watch the video. Try to imagine the satire if Michelle had failed to respond to the Queen's touch the way she did, folks!!!!!
And while Divine Right may have ended in England with the Stuarts (NOT the Stewarts) - America was ruled by the DIVINE RIGHT 2000-2008!!!!
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I believe the Three-Second Rule applies: after a commoner or an American touches the Queen's back, three seconds later it's "clean" again
LOL- maybe the Obamas included a power converter with the iPod. At least the Queen was carrying her purse ( inside her own palace?!?) so she had someplace to stash the iPod before going to dinner.
You Brits are just way toooooooooooooooooo serious! Good for Michelle!
People... Look carefully at the video. are you all blind.? The queen reached out first to shake hands. And the queen touched Michelle's back first. Get over it please and accept the fact that maybe for the first time the England royals feel very confortable with an American dignitary that they want be touched. Ok? Watch the very first video, the view has it and is not edited, well as of last night it wasn't.
Absolutely right. The rule is to not touch the Queen without invitation. If she wishes to shake your hand, you do so.
Also, if she's tripping over a rug, one is allowed to catch her, or at least endeavour to fall first so as to cushion the landing.
Oh, the HUMANITY!!
I think that the article gets "two thumbs up".
My fellow Americans...I'd like to point out the information given about the author of this op-ed piece: Writer, Comedian, Hero...It's fairly safe to say that it's probably satirical. It's not Ovid or even Monty Python by any stretch, but it wasn't meant to be taken seriously, either.
Very good! I enjoyed the satire.
Others have tried without success - I'll give it a shot too . . .
This article is not to be taken seriously! It is satire. It is humor! The satire that isn't even all that subtle . . .
Things like Queen 2.0 and Queen Elizabeth: Part 2 and especially whole sentences like Thankfully a fat woman fell from a great height onto hypnotized Reggie Jackson and stopped him from carrying out this nefarious plot at least cause a person to suspect it's all a joke.
I thought the article was funny but the comments from people all in an uproar are even funnier.
Very funny! Enjoyed the piece.
But for the last time, it was the Queen, NOT Michelle who "hugged," touched first, the First Lady reciprocated in kind.
OMG did anyone see the video the Queen grabbed her first so as a natural reaction when someone grabs you and wants you to lean in to them you rap your arm around them. Especially when you come from a family of huggers i mean come on she is always hugging someone. Even with that said the Queen is standing at a whopping 5' to Mrs. Obama 6 who was probably was more afriad to fall on the Queen. The Queen had no problem with it, it wasn't like the Queen moved or pushed her away because she felt violated. The queen embraced Mrs Obama so let it go we have so many other thing to worry about like tuition.
Her Majesty would have been briefed about Michelle Obama's hugging habits, and thus would have made the first move deliberately to avoid this sort of silliness.
I forget which queen it was who drank the water in her fingerbowl so as not to embarrass an honoured guest who had drunk his.
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