I've worked at the SEC for years, and let me tell you, there was nothing suspicious about Bernard Madoff's actions. This has come as a complete shock to me and my colleagues. Madoff was a friend. He had this cute little nickname where he called himself "Ponzi," or, "The Ponz" for short. Whenever he saw me would give me a big thumbs up and I would be all like, "Hey! It's the Ponz!" and we'd high five. He also had this hilarious t-shirt that he wore all the time under his suit that had a big P on it like Superman and would rip it open at funny times, like when we were asking him questions, and he would just yell, "Ponzi!". Oh, this was the best: Once I was out to dinner with the Ponz and Steven Spielberg and Ponzi started pitching Spielberg! Right at the table! It was a cool idea about this Wall Street mogul who ran a Ponzi scheme and swindled investors for fifty billion dollars, including big time ones like film directors who made films like E.T. Speilberg was all like, "Ponz. Let me do the movie making. You stick with your investing. OK?" That was a great dinner.