05/06/2010 05:12 am ET Updated Nov 17, 2011

Hatred: You've Got To Be Taught

You've got to be taught to be afraid
Last week: A family sits in my office: A father is screaming at his 13 year old:
"How dare you bring that no good for nothing nigger to our home!!" The father
picks up his hand to slap his child - his wife begins to scream, then cry - his
daughter runs from the room ---

Of people whose eyes are differently made
1941: following Pearl Harbor - Japanese-American citizens are interred in
camps, where they remain throughout WWII.

And people whose skin is a different shade
1962: James Meredith is escorted under National Guard to become the first
African American to integrate the University of Mississippi.
2001: His son Joseph earns a doctorate in business administration from his
father's alma mater and graduates at the top of his class.

You've got to be carefully taught
1925: Adolf Hitler's Mein Kampf: "On this planet of ours human culture and
civilization are indissolubly bound up the presence of the Aryan. If he should be
exterminated or subjugated, then the dark shroud of a new barbarian era would
enfold the earth." "Jewish youth wait for hours on end satanically glaring at and
spying on the unconscious girl whom he plans to seduce, adulterating her blood
with the ultimate idea of bastardizing the white race which they hate and thus
lowering its cultural and political level so that the Jew might dominate."
1947: George C. Marshall describes a plan that offers hope to 270 million
devastated Europeans following World War II: "Our policy is directed not against
any country or doctrine, but against hunger, poverty, desperation, and chaos."

You've got to be taught
Hate Groups: Many are proudly, openly racist. Others are "revisionist" about the
Holocaust, attempting to dismiss and diminish all horrors of genocide and mass
murder. Many are extremely homophobic. The Westboro Church in Topeka,
Kansas carries signs to funerals of those they perceive to be gay with signs which
read: "God hates fags."

Before it's too late
The Taliban: the invisibility of women: A woman may not laugh loudly and must
not wear shoes that produce any sound as they walk. Women must remain
uneducated, may be stoned if raped, whipped for showing their ankles in public,
and have their fingers cut off for using nail polish.
Quote from the Holy Koran 4:135: "... and among His signs is this, that He
created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity,
and he has put love and mercy between you..."

Before you are 6, or 7, or 8
"Beware of the fratricidal war the Jews are trying to start and also beware of their evil plans against the Muslims." "The Moslem sacrifices himself for this faith and fights a Jihad for Allah. He does not know cowardice because he understands that the time of this death is already
ordained that his dying as a Martyr on the field of battle is preferable to dying in bed."

To hate all the people your relatives hate
William Shakespeare's prophetic Romeo and Juliet: An ancient family feud
poisons and murders innocence, destining two young lovers to become helpless
victims: "For never was a story of more woe, than this of Juliet and her Romeo."

You've got to be carefully taught
NBC News Analysis by Jim Maceda: " Security sources tell NBC News that it's
no coincidence that two suicide blasts occurred after more than a month of
relative calm...(These bombings) coincide with high level talks between Israelis
and Palestinians who are taking small steps toward an agreement...the spoilers of
peace...(are sending) a signal to Israel and moderate Palestinians that they won't
play ball - even in times of peace."

O yes, You've got to be carefully taught and learn to see truth --
"On an individual level, people can get along. The problems are in the political
arena." said Faud Abu Rumeileh, father of 7 year old Arab Yasmin, who received
a kidney transplant from a Jewish student Yoni Jesner, killed in a suicide
bombing. "There is no difference between us, between Arab and Jew," said
Yasmin's mother. "God willing, there will be peace between us."

Family therapist SaraKay Smullens ( took poetic license with
the insightful poetry of South Pacific. The themes of how ones learns to love and hate
are explored in her book, Setting YourSelf Free: Breaking the Cycle of
Emotional Abuse in Family, Friendships, Work, and Love (New Horizon Press).

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