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SaraKay Smullens

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In Defense of Hilary Rosen: Let's Get Real

Posted: 04/18/2012 2:12 pm

Unless you have been living under a rock you know that Democratic strategist Hilary Rosen, a CNN political contributor and a working mom, in uncharacteristic emotional blindness, stated on CNN's AC360 that Ann Romney has "actually never worked a day in her life."

In so doing, Rosen made it possible for Ann Romney to made a heralded debut on Twitter, stating emphatically (and truthfully, of course), "I made a choice to stay home and raise five boys. Believe me, it was hard work."

I have never met Rosen; but, in addition to her keen mind, she is persistent, a quality that no doubt has contributed to her professional success. In this instance, however, it contributed to a firestorm. Instead of apologizing immediately for an insensitive and rude statement, she tweeted herself into a deeper hole defending and explaining,"... I meant she never had to care for her kids AND earn a paycheck like most American women."

It took little time for Hilary Rosen to be laid low by strategists and family members from both parties. Obama's deputy campaign manager, Stephanie Cutter, rightly posted, "Families should be off limits on campaigns, and I personally believe stay at home moms work harder than most of us do." David Axelrod, not a harsh man, chose harsh words, stating "disappointment," but also calling Rosen's words "inappropriate and offensive."

All of this naturally led to Ann Romney's family rallying around her. Her son, Josh, posted that his mom "is one of the smartest, hardest working women I know. Could have done anything with her life, chose to raise me." It also led to Romney sharing the pain and anxiety of her battles with both breast cancer and MS, a reality that effectively demonstrated that she surely understands suffering, as well as terror.

What all of this shows, of course, is how the real issues that plague this country can effectively be buried. Hilary Rosen did speak thoughtlessly. But what she meant (and awkwardly tried to explain) was obvious: "Having a husband who is an excellent wage owner (and also who loves you dearly and supports you emotionally) gives a woman a safety net that most women, who must work, and cannot chose to be at home, just do not have. And neither do their children."

What eons ago was called "petticoat politics" should have been retired eons ago. Yet it persists as dangerous, time-consuming diversion, taking on a life of its own. Ann Romney, at a closed door fundraiser for her husband's presidential campaign, told those present she had received an "an early birthday present" because Rosen was "critical of me as a mother, and that was really a defining moment, and I loved it."

When Romney was questioned by ABC's Diane Sawyer about her words, she said "that wasn't how I meant it," countering that the "present" was not the ugly backlash to Rosen's comments, and stating that it really was "the fact that women are talking about the deficit spending and the economy. I love that."

Ann Romney, an astute and thoroughly likeable woman, used strategic coverup for this interview. The Rosen misstatement did not lead to women's discussion of deficit spending and the economy. We have been focusing on it since danger set in. Romney, at the fundraiser, meant exactly what she said.

Hilary Rosen, on the other hand, used awkward words, devoid of tact, and did not say what she meant. Her words were an attempt to support and defend moms and their children who are the most vulnerable, those with no safety net; and she sincerely and wisely fears for their future.

 
 
 

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02:17 PM on 04/19/2012
It may reflect my political position, but Mitt Romney needs more help in understanding today's women's needs than Ann Romney. His current approach is not to really understand what the majority of women need. To really understand he needs to listen to a cross section of women, both those working and staying at home, rich, middle class, and poor and then to suggest some meaninful policies. I have not heard those expressed, and doubt there will be any if the only voice he listens to is his wife's.
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SaraKay Smullens
07:10 PM on 04/19/2012
You are so right! One does not get the feeling he is very interested in the approach you wisely suggest. Thank you for writing, N1512.
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SaraKay Smullens
12:05 AM on 04/19/2012
Hello to those who are writing. I am going to sleep now, but will respond to any others who write in the morning between clients. I see that three comments are pending approval. Thank you all for writing.
10:25 PM on 04/18/2012
This whole assault on Ann Romney is absurd. A good letter in defense of Ann Romney was written by these guys: http://bit.ly/HOpLaV
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SaraKay Smullens
10:53 PM on 04/18/2012
I'll read it. You saw what I wrote: Families should be off limit. Thank you very much for writing.
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SaraKay Smullens
01:23 PM on 04/19/2012
I did read the defense. I well know that Ann Romney is a brave, highly intelligent, and extremely devoted woman and that she has worked very hard to make her life a meaningful and successful one. My difficulty is with the health and economic policies of her husband, and the belief that our most vulnerable moms and families do not need a safety net. I find in inconceivable that our country does not provide health care to all, and that we stand by while so many suffer and live in terror about the future. Thank you for the opportunity to talk together about this.
09:05 PM on 04/19/2012
SaraKay,
Thanks for taking the time and effort to follow the link and respond in kind.
Regarding your comment that the Romneys are against a safety net, I think you'd be hard pressed to back that assertion. Romney, in a very clumsy formulation, indicated he would reinforce it: "I’m not concerned about the very poor. We have a safety net there,” Romney told CNN. “If it needs repair, I’ll fix it. I’m not concerned about the very rich, they’re doing just fine."
As for the contention that our country does not provide health care to all, it's currently illegal to deny care in an emergency situation. In the larger picture, even if we went to a singlepayer system, we would only be giving everyone health insurance or the ability to pay, but in no way guaranteeing them health care, which is a limited resource. It's a lengthy and complicated topic, too long to discuss in one comment here. But I'll end with: like the post office coexists with FedEx and DHL, government care should be able to co-exist with a private market. Unfortunately, right now, the private market is too heavily regulated to have the flexibility to generate multiple options for people in very unique situations, so it all looks and functions the same, providing people with no way to force the medical industry, through competitive choices, to lower costs and become more efficient.
07:54 PM on 04/18/2012
Next week, I'm going to write "In Defense of Bobby Petrino."
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SaraKay Smullens
09:32 PM on 04/18/2012
I take your objection seriously. Is there more you want to share as follow-through to your thoughts? I would like to hear what you have to say. I believe that what is missing in our present climate is civil and civilized conversation about differences.
07:05 PM on 04/18/2012
I still don't see the controversy. The controversy should be that a woman who has never had to earn a living in her life (is that a better choice of words???) is considered a legitimate expert on women and the economy because she spoke to some people.
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SaraKay Smullens
10:56 PM on 04/18/2012
and we desperately need to address the problems in a directed and sensible way, not repeating the economic madnes that brought us to this point......thank you for wiiting!
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Patricia Hollister
12:17 AM on 04/19/2012
To ATL2012: That is exactly what Hilary Rosen meant. Unfortunately, all of the uproar is now "working" moms vs. "stay at home moms". It seems to me that either many people have no real understanding of a statement except on its simplest literal meaning. Or many people are not hearing what Hilary Rosen said as a response to the Mitt Romney's previous comment about "I get my advice on what women are interested in from my wife". Now THAT is the inane comment that prompted this debate! Hilary Rosen surely meant to say " How does a wife whose husband's salary enables her to be a stay at home mother have any advice about "women's issues in this economy" ? I've been both and i never resorted to the whining I hear from stay at home mothers. Anne Romney seems very shallow if that's what she thinks of as advice.
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wmnorton
Moderate where moderate used to be
06:17 PM on 04/18/2012
This is not the first time that someone has used the "but I'm a Mother defense to claim they have had a rough time of it. My mother had six kid and the fathers of her children skipped out on her and us. She finally got some help when the father of the last two died after he left her but before he had gotten a divorce, then that terrible program called Social Security stepped up where he had been unwilling. So yes Let's Get Real, Ann Romney is not one of the authentic people on the scene today.
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SaraKay Smullens
06:36 PM on 04/18/2012
You write from what is indeed authentic experience. It is no wonder that you have 243 fans! I do not see how those who see themselves as leaders can deny the very life line to others that luck brought them at birth. Thank you so much for writing!
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wmnorton
Moderate where moderate used to be
09:41 PM on 04/18/2012
Thanks for your comment, its nice to see someone out here with empathy.
04:13 PM on 04/18/2012
This is such a fake controversy. My husband is a remodeling contractor and I'm here to tell you that his job is much harder than mine. Parenting little kids is hard, but to say it's the hardest job in the world is ludicrous and a complete distraction. Ann Romney chose to have five children, had the financial means to choose to stay home with them, but presumably doesn't think that anyone else should have the right to choose, or plan their family or have access to health care. I wish everyone, including the White House, would stop enabling her and her "hard job." Please.
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SaraKay Smullens
04:31 PM on 04/18/2012
Your point is well taken. Not only is your husband's job difficult, but also it is physically demanding, and dangerous. I think that when parenting as a full time job is described as the most difficult of jobs, it is the constant emotional drains that are being described. It is the responsibility to raise children well and responsibly, and to make the family work well and with stability. As children grow older the job asks more and more of one.
Yes, you are so right about health care. How can leaders whose children have every privilege and opportunity deny this basic right of opportunity to survive to other children? How can they live with themselves in their selfish disregard of life? And how can they call themselves "pro-life"? Thank you for writing, and in doing so encouraging dialogue.
04:03 PM on 04/18/2012
I understood exactly what Hillary Rosen meant when she said that Ann Romney never "worked" a day in her life. She meant "worked outside the home"......case closed. Everything else has been a huge waste of time. No one ever said that raising children isn't hard work.....Hillary has children of her own, so I'm sure she knows.
Ann Romney showed her true colors these last 10 days.......she is a crass opportunist, just like her husband.
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SaraKay Smullens
12:03 AM on 04/19/2012
Of course she meant worked outside of the home, and of course she knows that raising children is hard work!
02:57 PM on 04/18/2012
"Romney, at the fundraiser, meant exactly what she said. " How do you know this? And, "Hilary Rosen, ... did not say what she meant. Her words were an attempt to support and defend moms and their children who are the most vulnerable, those with no safety net; and she sincerely and wisely fears for their future. " How do you know this? Your last two paragraphs I find troubling and one sided. It could very easily be that Rosen meant exactly what she said and Romney meant exactly what she said, but your view is assumption at best.
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SaraKay Smullens
05:00 PM on 04/18/2012
I appreciate your taking the time to write, and I want to respond. I have followed Hillary Rosen's work for years. She well knows that women at home work, and work hard. She has two children, and she respects a woman's choice, in all things. She misspoke, and I am sure she is feeling awful about her insensitivity. Mitt Romney is having a tough time attracting high percentages of women who believe in him politically. His wife is smart and likable; and she wants to help him win. In a room with those she really trusted, not believing she would be quoted, she spoke what she believes. Plus, as I wrote, women did not need this sad mess to talk about their fears about caring for their families in this treacherous and imperiled economy. Romney's explanation made no sense, and was a carefully crafted coverup.
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07:19 AM on 04/19/2012
SaraKay, My point is that what you are writing is mostly based off you assumptions which are largely based on you own political leaning. Hilary Rosen said that Ann Romney has "actually never worked a day in her life." That statement is cold and insensitive and you are willing to give her the benefit of doubt that she meant something nobler even though she continued to dig herself into a deeper hole the more she spoke. However, When Romney spoke, something that doesn't even come close to the insensitivity and coldness of what Rosen said, you refuse to give her that same benefit. Your last two paragraphs are an example of one of the largest problems in this country, Separation. We are divided between republican and democrat. We are divided between conservative and liberal. We are divided between religious views and race. We are a divided people and the gulf between the groups is only getting larger, because people assume that one side is always on the righteous and the other side is on the side of evil. Either sides refusing to even give the benefit of doubt that the other side meant good and then under cutting what good they do do.
Because Hilary Rosen is someone that you respect, you refuse to take what she said in any manner that goes against your noble view of her and because of your disrespect for Mit Romney; you are willing to undercut whatever good that Ann Romney said.