Why, you may understandably ask, do I discuss Karla Faye Tucker, Bill Clinton, and Donald Trump in the same article? I do so because I want to share how the life and death of Karla Faye Tucker propelled me toward what I see as a professional responsibility -- doing all I can to underscore the importance of a mature "emotional sense of direction" in the decisions that each of us face in order to safeguard all we hold dear. Please stay with me as I explain.
Perhaps you do not know, or do not remember who Karla Faye Tucker was. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karla_Faye_Tucker Born on November 18, 1959 into a deeply troubled marriage, and illegitimate, Karla Faye followed her mother into prostitution at the age of 14. During this period, on June 13, 1983, after a drug-fuelled weekend, she participated in a horrid murder of two and was jailed the following September, awaiting trail. Soon after her imprisonment, Karla Faye took a bible from the prison ministry program. After reading it for the first time in her life, the 24-year-old fell to the floor to ask God's forgiveness. She became a Christian in October of that year and later, in 1995, married her prison minister in a wedding ceremony inside the prison.
Karla Faye was killed by lethal injection in Houston, Texas on February 3, 1998 at the age of 38. Many, including the Pope John Paul II and Ronald Carlson, the brother of Tucker's female murder victim, wrote letters on her behalf, asking that her wish be granted -- to stay in prison for the rest of her life, offering hope and counsel to young women who, like she, committed horrific crimes when they did not know what they were doing,
The parole board refused to meet with her and rejected her appeal on January 28, 1998. Her last words were to thank all those, including the warden, who testified she was a model prisoner whom he saw as reformed. The first kindness ever showed to Karla Faye had been in prison. She was the first woman executed in the state of Texas in 135 years.
Now, I totally agree with the following: Those of us who have the privilege and responsibility of being therapists have no right diagnosing anyone we have not spent crucial time with. However, I must tell you that the killing of Karla Faye Tucker, who was born into the most loathsome of homes, without one iota of love or kindness, confirmed something important for me. After Karla Faye was put to death I saw that we in my field do have a responsibility to educate and inform about why some people make grave mistakes, and in her case and others, why many turn to sex as outlet and expression, and some semblance of control over overwhelming anxieties. In Karla Faye's case, sex offered the only connection, release of inner torment, and anxiety control she had ever known in her life, that is, until she found love, purpose, and a sound emotional sense of direction in prison.
I will spare you repeated details (that unfortunately you already know all too well) regarding sexual accusations involving Bill Clinton and Donald Trump; their impact in this seemingly endless campaign; and how jolting the statements have been to so very many citizens. However, I believe it important to shed some psychological light on the distressing incidents that have consumed news coverage.
There are numerous reasons why men with loving, committed wives chose to have extra-marital liaisons, relationships, and one-night stands. One of the major ones involve a boy becoming a man without the benefit of a stable, reliable father or father figure, whose presence offers confidence and self-assuredness during complex years when one goes from boy to man. In such cases, especially if there are not close relatives, family friends, or reliable religious leaders to help fill the gap, many men feel the need repeatedly to prove their manliness through sex. After these actions, they are usually riddled with guilt about pain they have caused a loyal wife and children. Through counseling their awareness can grow; an "emotional sense of direction" can develop; and their behavior can change.
A second common reason occurs when a boy is the apple of his parents' eye, and is raised to believe that he is so special that anything he wishes to do, or say, no matter how degrading or vulgar, and any way he wishes to act toward others in a sexual situation (or any situation for that matter) is completely acceptable, and is even something to brag about. In situations like these, one strongly believes that any question about behavior shows unfairness and prejudice of the one who dares to question. Although a mature "emotional sense of direction" in basically nonexistent, rarely does one with this pattern of behavior seek therapy.
The opportunity to examine underlying causes for behaviors and choices offers perspective and direction to the observer as well as the one observed. Perhaps the tragic circumstances of Karla Faye Tucker's life, which drove her to murder, and her death, when she had so much to offer others who made horrific choices, can propel us toward compassion and mercy. As far as the husband of one candidate for presidency and a candidate, himself, is concerned, awareness can strengthen our own "emotional sense of direction." It can lead us toward selecting a president who is dedicated and experienced -- one who will safeguard our economy; deal maturely with world leaders; insure that our highest court is committed to justice and opportunity; and be trusted with a finger near a button that can lead to nuclear devastation.