Once upon a time, I tried not to date anyone shorter then me, not because I think any less of shorter women (I don't... in fact, some of the hottest lesbians I've ever laid my eyes on have been of shorter stature than me), but as a femme, I had it stuck in my head that my partner should and would be taller and bigger than me. However, given that I'm 5'8", it proved harder to find many other women who were taller then me, especially once I put on heels.
It's sort of like a cruel joke the gods played on us femmes. We spend our whole lives dieting to fit into sexy clothes, wearing stilettos to elongate our legs, and doing anything else we can think of that will make us look thinner and hotter, only to fall for women who are half our size and wouldn't be caught dead in a pair of heels. So there we are, left with two choices: give up our f-me heels or wear them proudly as we tower over our dates.
I used to think that was the worst thing in the world, to look like an Amazon next to my date. But if I really ask myself why this bothered me so much, I can honestly blame society! No, really. As a culture, we tend to associate the feminine with the more slight of build, the more diminutive, because most couples are heterosexual, and it just so happens that men tend to be taller or bigger then a lot of women, hence our association of femininity with smaller size.
But that all has to go out the window when you take that bio-man out of the picture and replace him with a woman. Between two women, femininity has nothing to do with size and everything to do with mindset.
Over time, I realized that for self-preservation, I had to give up on only dating tall girls, because let's face it: the saying that "good things come in small packages" is a proverb for a reason! Not to mention that it's hard enough to find the right person without putting a lot of arbitrary stipulations on who you think you should be with. So I took removed the sign from around my neck that read, "You must be this tall to ride this ride."
Eventually, I found myself totally in love with my own pocket-sized butch. I have four inches on her barefoot, and a good nine in my favorite heels. How have I gotten comfortable being the Amazon next to the hot little butch? It's not easy; I still tend to feel "big" next to her, which is never an adjective a femme wants attached to herself. But she tells me I'm beautiful, and even if I don't believe what I hear, it's hard to deny the look I see in her eyes whenever she looks at me.
So my advice to all the leggy femmes out there? Strut your stuff in the highest stilettos, with your tightest pencil skirts, and rest assured that there is a butch appreciating every moment of it. Even if she's looking up to watch the show.
How about you? Do you find yourself attracted to taller women or put off by them? Is height ever an issue when picking a date? Or better yet, is it an issue in the bedroom?
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Megan Evans: Femme Invisibility
7 years later i am VERY glad i stopped being so silly and went out with her.
It works for us!
not really a 'lesbian' issue...height, as most physical attributes that we might find attractive, come from a stew of cultural, genetic, environmental and developmental cues assembled over time. a man and woman, woman and woman, man and man...regardless of sexual orientation, the individuals express their preferences/prejudices often without an examination of their origin or meaning.
Occassionally, overtime the surface biases dissapate while other deeper characteristics or qualities emerge as more desirable. If only all people could see better from the start...
My girlfriend doesn't mind it, but she hates when I wear heels. She feels like I am too domineering