HuffPost Review: The Men Who Stare at Goats (2009)
The Men Who Stare At Goats
2009
90 minutes
Rated R
The Men Who Stare at Goats is a miserable misfire, completely draining any and all life from the rather astounding narrative that it is trying to tell. I have no idea if the stories contained are true, and that frankly shouldn't matter. The movie fails as a vehicle to uncover true life conspiracy of the zaniest order. It also fails as a tale of absurdest comic fiction. It is a flat and often dull drudge of a film, a low-water mark for most involved (it's George Clooney's worst film ever, yes worse than Batman & Robin). The film is so bad that it may in fact be a conspiracy, a concerted effort to nullify the truth of Jon Ronson's tale by trapping it in a film that will teach us little and entertain few. After all, as Lex Luthor famously said in Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Strikes Again, "Freedom of speech is a wonderful thing; especially when no one is listening."
A token amount of plot - Based on an allegedly non-fiction book by Ronson, this is a tale of the fabled 'New Earth' US Army battalion, founded in the early '80s to create warrior monks/super soldiers. Journalist Bob Wilton (Ewan McGregor) is attempting to prove his manhood and save his crumbling marriage by losing himself in the drama of the Iraq war. Stuck in Kuwait, he stumbles upon Lyn Cassady (George Clooney), who claims to be a former member of a pioneering Special Forces unit of psychic soldiers who were training in order to acquire literal super powers and end armed conflict the world over. Through flashbacks, we see how the unit was founded by Bill Django (Jeff Bridges) and then corrupted and destroyed from within by the devious Larry Hooper (Kevin Spacey).
The idea that the US government would attempt to turn its fighting forces into the equivalent of the Justice League (with the powers of invisibility, walking through walls, telepathy, etc.) is an amusing one. But the film itself gives only tiny, fragmented details of how this program actually operated and what skills they attempted to acquire. The present-day narrative is completely pointless to the eventual story and we keep wanting to return to the past, which is where the far more worthwhile storytelling is being conducted. But even there, the film is crippled by the stilted, overly expository voice-over from Ewan McGregor. While McGregor gives one of his worst performances, he is not helped by the voice-over dialogue, which is easily the worst of its kind since James McAvoy spelled it all out for us over and over again in Wanted.
The rest of the acting is adequate, but Bridges and Spacey are constrained by the archetypes that they represent, which is in itself the film's cleverest gimmick. While Clooney immediately refers to himself as a Jedi, we realize about 2/3 of the way through the picture that the film is literally following the story arc of the first four Star Wars films. Imagine if A New Hope was interspersed with flashbacks from Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and Revenge of the Sith, and you'll have a general idea of how the movie plays out. To a certain extent, the film uses the Star Wars angle to contrast the hippie generation and their peaceful ideals with more hawkish 'dark side' that eventually corrupted the 'New Earth' work. The irony of having the former Ben Kenobi portraying a variation on Luke Skywalker is not lost on me, but it does not excuse the otherwise fatal miscasting.
Still, while I concede that the film eventually has something to say, it's a heck of a long slog through those first 70-minutes to get to the final reel. Even with the amusing gimmick and the last act that rather shockingly ties the story into modern-day history and politics, the film is undone still by an obnoxious and inexplicable final scene. But the film's biggest sin is that it really doesn't teach us anything about this legendary experiment in peaceful war-making and it is so lacking in basic entertainment that most moviegoers will be reluctant to learn more. The film eventually takes note of a stark reality of modern journalism, that the media often does not hide the truth so much as deliver it in a fashion that will cause everyone to lose interest. Oddly enough, The Men Who Stared At Goats is a shining example of just that kind of cover-up. Like Spacey's equally odious anti-capital punishment thriller The Life of David Gale, Clooney's latest vehicle is a leftist political film that is so bungled that one wonders if its creation was a right-wing conspiracy.
Grade: D+
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I thought this review did a nice job of pointing out why the book was so good and the movie was so bad:
http://thebrowntweedsociety.com/2009/11/10/tbts-presents-book-vs-movie-the-men-who-stare-at-goats/
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Many many thanks.
I saw this yesterday and it was horrible. Incredibly boring with only a few humorous moments. I walked out during a disgusting scene when the lead characters drug an entire US military post in Iraq with LSD. I know this is some left over hippie fantasy from the 60's to drug US soldiers with LSD but setting it in current day Iraq where soldiers are still fighting and dying hit way too close to home for me. The utter disrespect for the military required to produce that scene I find mind blowing. It has very little plot but is filled with all kinds of easy and weak cliché's, trigger happy military contractors, American's torturing Iraqis, evil military programs, poor innocent Iraqi victims.
One truly disturbing scene that can't be blamed on the filmmakers shows a drugged deranged soldier with a handgun walking across a crowded parade yard indiscriminately firing as soldiers scramble for safety. Seeing this a day after the shooting at Ft. Hood was shocking.
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If you want to talk about stuff that happens late in the movie, PLEASE put a spoiler warning in your post. Thank you.
The US military's dabbling in the paranormal is well documented. Of course it was for the most part abandoned long ago because it's just silly. This movie seems silly as well. I'll wait for the DVD.
This reviewer should chill out. I saw it last night and thought it was wonderful. Great performances by Clooney, Bridges - heck, the entire cast. Terrific, very funny and largely true story. I'll see it again.
This movie is not a mindless, check-your-brain-at-the-door movie; it's filled with sarcasm; something you have to understand, pay attention and listen. Everyone in the theater was laughing; an older more mature crowd who got what the movie was about. I I could imagine when they yelled "cut" on the set how much the actors were cracking up. The irony of it all was priceless....the New Earth war.
So if other people thought the movie was weak and the joke gets old after about 15 minutes, then we are mindless people who checked our minds at the door? I understood the sarcasm, I listened, and I consider myself to be more sophisticated than the average movie-goer. But I thought the movie was dull, slow, and the "New Earth Army" stuff got old fast. There were a few laughs and some decent performances, but the movie itself was pretty bad.
From your comments it is clear that you think that anybody with a brain liked it, but anybody who didn't like it just didn't undertand the movie. I'm sorry to disagree with your theory, but I think that is beyond ridiculous. You are entitled to your opinion and everybody is going to have a different take on any particular movie. But I don't think it is necessary to insult other intelligent movie-goers by putting forward the theory that the reason they disagree with your opinion is that they didn't understand the sarcasm or didn't listen.
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So sorry you misunderstood what I was saying as it wasn't a theory at all, but merely an observation of a younger audience not getting the movie.
Based on the mixed reviews and the fact that the people that didn't like it /realy/ didn't like it; I am sure I will love it and it will become a cult classic at our house. We tend to love movies that a lot of people hate. Some of those haters couldn't stand Pulp Fiction!
I'm usually in tears laughing at things that the same people don't find remotely funny. Most any British comedy serves as example here (Mighty Boosh!) I don't laugh at the things that /they/ find hilarious. (The movie "Chicken Run" comes to mind )
Well aren't you just Earth-shatteringly unique...
I saw it today and I agree with the reviewer Scott Mendelson. It was pretty weak. The only good thing was that it included a few good songs from 20-30 years ago. It was a major disappointment, but I'm kind of getting used to it.
I saw "The Box" earlier this weekend and it was just as bad as "The Men Who Stare At Goats." I must give credit to the creators of both movies for producing tantalizing previews which serve to raise expectations, only to have those high expectations crushed after enduring both of these failed efforts.
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"The Dark Knight Strikes Back"... was not by Frank Miller. It sounds like it could have been by a magical child of Frank Miller and George Lucas, and possibly Emperor Palpatine.
Frank Miller DID make "The Dark Knight Strikes Again", which I imagine is what Scott meant. If only he had access to Google or Wikipedia!
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Curses. Noted and corrected. I really should have double-checked, but I thought I correctly remembered the title of that one. Thanks for the heads up.
No problem. I have to say it's nice to see someone quoting it. Not Miller's best work, but it definitely doesn't deserve the bad rap it gets.
The two problems I had with it were that Miller's own artwork often comes across as ulgy, and that it suffers in comparison to The Dark Knight Returns. But then again, what comic doesn't? DKR is one of the two best comics of all time (the other being Watchmen).
I'll have to see the movie, it looks funny from the trailers (but we've all been punk'd by trailers before).
Worse than "Batman and Robin?" Wow, i didn't think ANYTHING could be worse than that movie.
I liked it and thought Clooney was just fine, as was the rest of the cast. I think it's just sort of go with the flow and don't over analyze it.
Scott, you're just too young to really get this movie. The movie has yet to be made that lives up to any book. It's quite enough to know that there was some truth behind it, and you can be sure the movie stands on its own. A brilliant, bizarre and completely satisfying piece of work that might just become a cult classic, particularly for those of us who were there.
My young adult kids just came back from seeing this film and they loved it. They all agreed it was hilarious.
Can't wait to see it.
A few good lines mixed with a lot of nothing - which gave me the time to notice that Clooney's teeth (too white and even) didn't match his character. They should have been yellower with some age-related root exposure.
11/7/09
10:19pm
Alexandria, VA
eww.
Was it a good movie? Not necessarily. Was it horrible? Not by a long shot. I laughed through most of it, even while thinking while a pile of horse pucky some of it was. Clooney/s worst? Nah. If you're inclined to see it, go to a cheap matinee or wait for the DVD. It's not worth a lot of time, and yes it's absurd but something that makes anyone laugh isn't completely worthless.
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