Jeremy Irons and Tilda Swinton: One of the highlights of this week's Golden Globes was watching the two beloved 'oh-so-serious' thespians seemingly in some kind of secret enunciation contest as they announced the nominees of their respective categories (you know that Swinton was practicing how best to articulate 'Pillars of the Earth' while backstage). Neither are that old (Irons is 62 and Swinton is barely 50), but both are probably funnier than their reputations would imply. And while fellow screen-deviants Christopher Walken and John Malkovich have reinvented themselves as comical variations on their onscreen personas, Irons has yet to take the plunge into full-blown self-satire (he apparently had a brief comic cameo in Pink Panther 2).
Tilda Swinton is suggested because she too is someone for a reputation for being very very serious about her craft, yet she's not afraid to play in comedy (Adaptation) or blockbuster-land (The Chronicles of Narnia series). It's always fun to see Irons and Malkovich play together in movies good (The Man in the Iron Mask) and bad (Eragon), and Swinton could certainly go toe-to-toe with Helen Mirren without straining. She's one of the more engaging actresses around, she just came off some major critical kudos for I Am Love (an overrated film, but she was terrific), and well, as I joked back in 2005 upon seeing The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, her turn as the White Witch may not have turned me to stone, but she kept me rock-hard the whole movie...


Christopher Lee: Because if you don't cast him, he might smother you in your sleep. It's an open secret that Christopher Lee spent his younger days as a member of Special Operations Executive, which is basically the official British equivalent of the 'inglorious basterds'. Point being, when casting a film about aged spies, best to choose someone who spent World War II killing more people than Dracula, Saruman, Francisco Scaramanga, and Count Duku combined. He also turns 90 this June, and he still looks like he could murder you six times before you hit the ground.
James Hong: He turns 82 next month, yet he still regularly works and teaches his own acting class on the side. You've seen him a hundred or so times over the years (he owned the one great scene in The Day the Earth Stood Still), and he's never given a bad performance. If you've seen Big Trouble in Little China or the vastly underrated Balls of Fury, you'll know that he's also quite funny when given the chance. He stole the latter ping-pong action comedy from a non-slumming Christopher Walken, which says all you need to know.
Jodie Foster: At 48, she's not what anyone outside of the industry would call 'old', but there are fewer actresses that have greater reputation for solemnity as Ms. Foster. Despite a somewhat deserved reputation as the most serious actress ever, Foster has shined the brightest over the last twenty years when she played outside the 'very important picture' genre. She was hilarious in Maverick and her quasi-villain stole Spike Lee's Inside Man from the likes of Denzel Washington, Clive Owen, and Christopher Plummer. Point being, if Sony doesn't take my advice and cast her as the antagonist in the next Salt picture, then Summit Entertainment should find a place for Jodie Foster, still one of the finest performers of her generation, to actually have a little fun for a change.
Okay readers, your turn. Who would you love to see brought into the Red universe?
Scott Mendelson
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