This is not a review of The Expendables, as I have not seen the picture yet. But the biggest problem with The Expendables as a concept (trailers here, here, and here) is that it promises to be 'all your favorite action stars in one place!' yet lacks some of the prime contenders. If you grew up as an action nerd in the 80s and 90s, you're worshiping one or more amongst Sly Stallone (present), Bruce Willis (cameo), Arnold Schwarzenegger (cameo), Harrison Ford (absent), Mel Gibson (absent) Chuck Norris (absent) Jean Claude Van Damme (absent), and Steven Seagal (absent). Truth be told, if you were a child of the 80s and early 90s, when it came to pure action, it was all about Schwarzenegger, Stallone, and Willis. Since most of the 'A-team' didn't show up, who exactly did Stallone corral?
Steve Austin has made ONE theatrical film (The Condemned, which was actually pretty good), Jet Li broke out at the tail-end of the 1990s (Lethal Weapon 4 in 1998), and Dolph Lundgren is simply 'that Russian dude from Rocky IV', the guy who played He-Man, and/or 'the other guy from Universal Soldier'. Jason Statham is certainly the modern day equivalent of Stallone and Schwarzenegger, which would make sense if this were some kind of passing-the-torch film, but I gather it's not. Randy Couture has never had a major theatrical action film, and Terry Crews is known more for his comic work (Idiocracy, Everybody Hates Chris, etc) than his nearly non-existent action-film record (he had a small role as a villain in Gamer about a year ago).
At best you have Stallone, an 80s cult figure (Dolph Lundgren), and two genuine action stars (Jet Li and Jason Statham) who are a generation or two removed from the kind of films that The Expendables is trying to harken back to. Heck, John Cena would already have far more action cred than Austin, Crews, and Coutre, since he was the lead in two theatrical action pictures of late (The Marine and the shockingly good 12 Rounds). As for Mickey Rourke, he's doing a glorified cameo allegedly as a favor to Stallone, as Stallone cast him in Get Carter back when he was basically out of work as a mainstream actor. Whether that's true or not, no one thinks of Rourke as the kind of guy who would have anchored a Missing In Action or Commando type movie back in the 1980s anyway.
Does this have anything to do with the quality of the movie? Nope, but when you look at who did and didn't show up, you cannot possibly argue that this is an All-Star line-up of the greatest modern action heroes of our generation. It's, at best, a B-list of whomever Stallone could convince to play in his sandbox. A nitpick, but one worth noting none the less. Imagine how exciting The Expendables would have been had it been had it actually included a true action hero dream team.
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Or when it goes to cable she can watch hers on Oxygen or Lifetime and he can watch his on Spike.
Action movies give more bang for the buck. (Pardon the pun.)
Harrison Ford (absent)--and for good reason -- he's just not in the same category any more (if he ever was)
Mel Gibson (absent)--same as above, though now clearly non compos mentis -- I just don't think Ford and Gibson still qualify as action stars once they forsook their action roots in favor of more "act-ORy" roles. It's like calling for Sigourney Weaver or something...though I would like to see that.
Chuck Norris (absent)--I just don't think he needs the work--his cult status (via Conan/internet/mid-ought college kids) has sort of made working outside a cameo unnecessary.
Jean Claude Van Damme (absent)--refused
Steven Seagal (absent)--refused apparently
I LOVE the B-movie vibe that the film has in the trailers and Arnold and Bruce Willis have always seemed to have had a sense of humor w/their cameos...it would have been great w/JCVD or Seagal (although is he fit enough?) but I don't see the appeal for Ford, and thank God Gibson is out because I don't ever want to see a new movie w/Mel Gibson in it again...
I think Statham and Stallone are strong enough to carry the ensemble...bad-A.
Next thing you're going to tell me is that the Twilight films aren't the seminal coming of age saga of our times! That Zack Snyder isn't the most visionary film director working today! Or that Adam Sandler isn't the greatest comic genius we have ever known!
Stop bursting my bubble! :)
It would of course be a comedy, but the genius of it would be that you'd tell all the actors it was a serious movie. Imagine Norris walking up the temple steps with his sidekick Van Damme as Seagal is meditating, constructing ridiculous zen koans. Van Damme would be like "a monk? why do we need some guy...who prays all day?" and Norris would smile faintly and say, "this guy is no ordinary monk" before listing off Seagal's many exploits.